Beating Hearts
by mentalsunflower
Summary: What starts out as simple dance lessons from the cool Matt to the shy Kari slowly unfolds into so much more...[Yakari!]
1. Lesson 1: Don't Get Close to Matt

**A/N:** Tada! This story of mine has been a little side project for a while. Yakari has always been my favorite ship in Digimon (why? It has no proof! And yet it fits together very nicely). The premise is a bit strange, but I wrote this a long time ago and couldn't think of anything else to start it off. It's mutated from it, now. There's no stopping it! I also decided to incorporate a nifty quote at the beginning of each chapter that relates to its contents. Whee!

**PS: **I used the American names because I'm more comfortable with them! Please excuse it if you hate them...I'm very sorry.

**Disclaimer: **Wouldn't it be great if I could say I owned Digimon?! But I don't.

* * *

_**Beating Hearts** _

_Chapter 1_

* * *

**"Sparrows should not dance with cranes, their legs are too short." – Danish Proverb**

* * *

"Why is it that you know how to dance?" she asked warily, stepping in time with the crackly record music.

He laughed. "It's a gift."  
"Too bad I don't have it," she muttered, gritting her teeth as she stumbled on a note. "Augh! I'm never going to learn!" she ran over to the old record player and flipped it off. "This is hopeless, Tai! I'm never going to be able to dance!"

"Kari, you'll do fine."

"And why am I dancing with _you,_ anyway? You're my brother! That's gross!"

"Hey! That's an insult!"  
Kari took a gulp of water. "_Really,_ Tai?" She flopped down on the floor. "This dance is going to be terrible. I'm going to a dance, and I move like a fish! On—on—land! Or _something!_" It was true. Well, the dance part, anyway. Kari's (and Tai's) school was having a charity dance in two weeks to help the school raise money for better textbooks and whiteboards, and maybe even more supplies in things like art. Who knew? It was being held at a hall near the school, and anyone could go if invited by students or staff at the school.

"That doesn't sound very good," Tai stated dryly.

"You think?" Kari snapped, and then frowned. "Sorry, Tai. A girl gets stressed over these things."

"I noticed." Tai looked at his watch. "Hm…"

Kari gazed at him curiously. "You're not going to ditch me, are you?"

Tai gave her a startled expression. "Huh? No! I'm not. It's just that Matt's coming over for a bit…"

Kari gave a gusty sigh of anguish, throwing her head back. "Taaiiiiii!"

"What?!" he asked loudly in a hurt tone. "We have a project to work on!"

"Why didn't you tell me before? Then I could have gotten someone _else _to help me."

Tai held up his hands, palms out, with his eyes closed as he thought. He opened them, smiling. "All right. I've got it. We'll take turns!"

Kari felt her stomach tighten. "Take…turns?"

"Yea! See, Matt and I will go work on our project, and then one of us will take a break and come help you dance!"

Kari bit her bottom lip in hurried thought. "Um…can't you just wait until after you're done? I can wait!"

"No, no, no! You can't stop a genius like me now that I'm on a roll! It'll be perfect."

"I bet you're just doing this so YOU don't have to dance with me all the time!" Karen gave a pouty expression. "Fine. Do what you want," she sulked; inside, her insides were writhing. Matt? Dancing with _her? _He was the coolest kid in their entire school, and she didn't want to embarrass herself by _dancing _with him! She couldn't even dance!

Before she could take back her words, they heard a doorbell ringing. "Oh, that must be him," Tai said, stating the obvious. "He'll be here to teach you to dance in a bit."

Kari sat up on her knees as Tai scampered over to the stairs. "Um—Tai—"

He stopped, looked over at her, and flashed a big smile. "Don't worry. I'm sure Matt is a champion dancer. He'll teach you everything he knows." And then he was gone.

Kari began to pace the dusty old room that her mom never touched anymore—she sneezed numerous times before she had a chance to even analyze the situation. What was she going to do? She knew Matt from the old Digi-Destined days, which meant there was a bond between them that wasn't easily broken. But it wasn't a close friend bond—more like a "Hey-you-helped-me-save-the-world-didn't-you?" type of bond. Kari _never _talked to him anymore—in fact, he intimidated her. Actually…he _always _had. Whenever he had come over, she had dashed to her bedroom. What was she going to _do? _

Well, since Tai's stupid plan was probably going to be put into action (if not to actually help her, then at least mortify her), Kari was going to have to do something.

Practice.

* * *

"Hey, Kari?"

She froze. Kari had been in the middle of the room, spinning around with her arms on the shoulders of an invisible partner. Her left leg was in the air at an awkward angle as the voice called her name. She blushed, dropped her leg, and spun around. Not for a long time had she heard Matt call her name.

"Oh—um—hi Matt," she greeted shyly, looking at her shoes. She felt stupid—it wasn't like she was one of the girls who followed Matt around and memorized his entire schedule. It was just that she was still a little scared of him. The thought of dancing with him made her limbs feel like noodles.

He nodded at her, smiling slightly as he gazed around the abandoned sewing room. "Tai said you needed some dance lessons or something?"

"Well—I don't exactly _need _them," she said, still staring at the floor. "I would just _like _them, because of the dance that's coming up." She felt her head snap up so suddenly she was a bit frightened. "You're going, aren't you?" She heard the neediness in her voice, but it would be good to have _someone _there she knew.

Matt smirked at her, making her skin crawl in an almost pleasant way. "Yea, I guess." He shrugged nonchalantly. Kari immediately felt stupid.

"So…how's your project going?" Gee, this was awkward.

"It's all right. Tai won't actually do any work, though."

Kari laughed. "Yea, that sounds like him!" _Can't we talk about anything other than my **brother?**_

"So, ready to dance?" Matt asked suddenly, taking his hands out of his pockets and walking over to the record player. Kari's eyes were transfixed on Matt's hair as he slid the needle onto the record. It was so…shiny…

Only when he spun around to the crackling music did she blink and look away quickly. She heard his footsteps as he neared her.

"Okay," he began calmly, which almost irritated Kari. Why wasn't he as nervous as _her? _"So you grab this hand…" He grasped her hand and she almost yelped, clutching onto it out of instinct. Matt quirked an eyebrow, and Kari blushed even more, placing her hand on his shoulder. He grabbed her other hand and held it in his.

"Are you planning on doing some ballroom dancing at this dance?" Kari asked timidly, as he positioned his hand on her waist. She felt him pull her a bit closer, and she stopped breathing. Her heart began to beat rapidly, and she kept her eyes glued to the pocket of his shirt.

"Probably," he replied easily. "It's pretty funny to watch people get so shocked—who would think _I _knew how to waltz, right?"

Kari didn't question him anymore on that statement, but it wasn't like she was going to anyway. She was too nervous to make so much as a peep as Matt continued to instruct her on where to place her feet, when to turn, how long to pause, and so on. She felt her head getting dizzy as he tried to show her.

"Oh, it's no use!" she finally cried, stepping away from him. She suddenly felt empty. She had been holding Matt's hands for the last thirty minutes or so, and she was so used to being near his warmth as they danced, that standing alone was a bit…strange.

She gasped. "What about your project?"

Matt's face formed a surprised expression; Kari wasn't used to it. Usually he had no expression. He glanced at his watch, then back at Kari—then back at his watch, then back at Kari…

She shifted nervously. "I can wait, you know. I'm a bit tired, anyway."

Matt hesitated. Then he gave a wolfish grin that shocked Kari. "You know, it wouldn't be bad for Tai to learn how to do some of the work, wouldn't you say?"

Kari found herself giggling—from relief or because of Matt's joke, she didn't know. "I think so."

So the two tried at it again. Kari began to feel her head getting heavy, but at least her feet were moving somewhat properly. It awed her how well Matt could dance without even blushing or giving the odd uncomfortable cough. Even when Kari messed up her steps (it was usually from losing her concentration and thinking about Matt), he didn't give a sigh of agitation like he normally would have.

Soon, she began to get into the rhythm of the old music. Kari and Matt were quickly waltzing around the room, avoiding the chairs and tables piled high with sewing materials that had been pushed to the side, when Kari felt a spasmatic fit of laughter overtake her. So as the two danced, she began to giggle and snort and laugh, and she couldn't stop. She wasn't even embarrassed—she was just laughing at the sheer oddity of the two of them waltzing in her house.

Matt let out a sudden chuckle. Kari's laughter was contagious. "Something funny?" he asked smoothly. Kari stopped laughing abruptly, her mouth closing in a tight line.

"Um—uh—no! No! Nothing!" She looked down at her feet, and realized the two weren't moving anymore. Her hand was still grasped in Matt's, and his arm was still tight around her waist. She could hear his breathing, which was a bit heavy after dancing so long. She began to blush, but she couldn't risk glancing up. She knew if she looked into his eyes, she probably wouldn't look away. And who wanted to look like a creep?

"MAAATT! WHERE IN THE WORLD _ARE_—HOLY COW!" Tai's screaming voice sent the two leaping apart. Kari was trembling all over, and she hated herself for it. Matt was standing in front of her, facing the door. His body was hiding Tai from her, so she peeked around him to see her older brother standing in the doorway, mouth agape and eyes wide. "What were you two _doing?_" he asked, his voice rather high-pitched. Kari was about to stutter out an answer when Matt's slick voice found its way into the conversation.

"What do you _think _we were doing, doofus?" he asked, his tone a bit snappy. "I was teaching her to dance! Isn't that what you told me to do?" Kari admired the tight voice Matt was using. It was the voice that always annoyed Tai into silence.

"Well—yea—but that was a while ago! How long does it take to learn a few steps?"

"A long time," Matt replied. "But Kari's been doing great." He turned around to smile at her. Kari almost melted; he hadn't smiled at her before, only somewhat smirked. This smile was…heavenly. _God, stop thinking like that Kari! This is your brother's best friend! Did you SEE how he reacted when he ran up here?! You're a fifteen-year-old girl, this is normal, but just..**stop. **_

**"**T—Th—Thanks," Kari stammered, blushing. Tai didn't seem to notice though.

"Well, I got some work done," he grumbled. Matt gave a throaty chuckle.

"That's what I was hoping for."

"What?!"

"Uh…nothing. Okay Kari, mind if we have a break?"

Kari risked a glance up from the dusty wooden floor. She saw Matt over by the door, standing near her brother. "No! Of course! Go ahead!" she said, smiling weakly. Matt nodded in her direction, shoving Tai out the door.

"But—hey! Don't I get to stay here?"

"I don't think Kari wants to dance with _you,_" Matt replied dismissively. Tai exhaled loudly, and Kari knew he was annoyed.

"Technically, I was _teaching _her how to dance."

"_You? _Dance? I doubt that, Tai."

"It's true!"

"Last time I saw you dance, you were…wiggling. And flailing. And—well—to tell you the truth, it was embarrassing…"

The two boys' voices drifted off as they clambered down the hall and toward Tai's room. Only when she heard the soft click of a door being closed did she let out her breath; she didn't realize she had been holding it the entire time. Flapping a hand in her face to try and cool off, Kari plopped down in one of the nearby chairs. It was old, but the cushions on it were soft and velvety. She immediately relaxed, gazing at all the old photographs that adorned the walls. They were mostly of Kari and Tai as children, and she felt memories cloud her mind as she sat, trying to push a breeze past her. Her mother had gone on a sewing kick for a while, which was why they bought this apartment; it had had an extra room for sewing. But then she just kind of drifted away from the hobby, leaving the spare room to be used for anything. That was why Kari had chosen it to try and practice. It had taken a while trying to persuade Tai to teach her, but Kari didn't want to look like an idiot at this dance! What did you _do _at dances anyway?

Then Kari thought of TK being at that dance and felt her heart flutter a little. She had liked TK ever since she could remember—way back to the Digi-Destined days. That was the whole reason behind the dancing lessons kick. But she suddenly remembered how those feelings of urgency had vanished when she had been dancing with Matt…

WAIT. _WHAT? _

"Augh. I need water," Kari muttered, standing up and groaning as she did so. She tried to clear her mind, hobbling toward the door all the while. Her body was screaming for warm water, or a bed, or _something _to help them heal. But all Kari wanted right now was a bottle of cold, crisp water to quench the thirst she had accumulated over the hours.

Out in the kitchen, Kari shifted things in the fridge, hunting out the bottles of water that didn't seem to exist anymore. She heard steps behind her and Kari felt relieved. Tai would know where the water was!

"Tai, do you know where the bottles of water we—" Kari whirled around to face her brother, only to see it was Matt standing on the other side of the counter, gazing at Kari with a quizzical expression on his usually stone-like face. Kari immediately felt herself growing red. "Ah! I mean, um, sorry Matt. I thought you were…my brother…"

"I noticed," Matt replied, his eyes twinkling slightly. "What's up?"

"Uh—nothing! I was just looking for water…" Kari paused, a heavy silence in the air. "Hey, what are you guys working on anyway?" she blurted. Matt shrugged.

"We have to make a model of imperial Japan or something. I can't really remember." He shrugged again, tossing his hair out of his eyes as he did so. Kari couldn't help but stare. Matt blinked. "What?" he asked bluntly. Kari gasped, clasping a hand to her mouth.

"Nothing!" she practically screamed, whirling around to face the fridge. "Oh!" she spun back around, her hospitable hostess self kicking in. "Did you need me to get you anything?" she asked quickly.

" I don't think so," Matt said airily. Kari blinked.

"Oh, okay," she responded, trying to hide the disappointment. She felt like she needed to prove herself to Matt…_Why?_ a voice screamed in her head, but Kari ignored it.

Matt seemed to pick up on her dejectedness. "Uh—well—I suppose I'll have a water too, if you can find one. I'm not used to dancing so much," he added, leaning his elbows against the counter casually. Kari felt herself blushing even though a solid block of wood was set between them.

"Um! Okay! Water, right!" She opened the fridge and moved a huge thing of lettuce to spy six bottles of water sitting innocently behind it. "Aha!" she cried happily, grabbing two of the bottles and opening one, passing it to Matt as she kicked the door closed with her socked foot. "Here," she said.

"Thanks," he replied sincerely. For a brief moment their fingers touched as she passed him the bottle, and Kari felt something inside of her flare up. It was quick, and it seemed like it hadn't even happened. She blinked, recoiling back quickly. _Had _she felt anything?

"Something wrong?" Matt asked, his tone worried.

"Nope!" Kari replied, smiling nervously and grabbing her own bottle of water. "Everything's fine. Oh, and, um, I think I've had enough lessons for today. Sorry," she added hurriedly, trying to be polite when all she really wanted to do was run.

Matt's face stayed still, but Kari thought she saw disappointment flash through it. Did she? So many things were uncertain about that guy! "All right," he replied easily, not taking his eyes away from her. Kari felt her skin crawl at the intense blueness of them.

"Well…okay then." She waved at him as she passed him behind the counter. "Bye!"

They were only a few feet apart, and Kari was sure he was going to reach over and pat her shoulder or something. He twitched in her direction, like he was going to do something like that, but then he stopped; Kari noticed, and she felt strangely empty. "Bye," he replied quickly. Kari propelled herself down the hall, entering the door beside Tai's. A sign hung from hers, painted when she was eight or so. _'Keep Out!' _it said in messy painted scrawl. A quick rainbow had been added on in later years to cheer it up a little.

Once inside, she locked the door, her hands shaking. What was _wrong _with her? "Every girl would be nervous around Matt," she reasoned. "It just took me off guard to finally realize the most popular guy is best friends with _my _brother."

_But you've known he was popular for a long time, _the voice mocked from inside. _You knew he was friends with your brother. He used to come over to watch TV and play video games all of the time. Why so scared now? _

"I'm not scared," Kari hissed to no one in particular, abandoning the long sought-after water bottle on her desk and instead flopping down on her flower-patterned bedspread.

_Oh of course not. My mistake. You were acting like an idiot for no reason at all. Of course! How silly of me. _

Kari shoved a pillow on top of her head, letting out a silent scream into her mattress. Why did she suddenly feel so muddled up? _Breathe…Breathe…it means nothing. Nothing at all. You're just a girl. He's eighteen. Naturally he would seem good-looking to you. TK. TK. TK. Say that name over and over and over. _

_Everything will be fine. _

Kari heard a commotion in the room next to hers. Things were being put away; the zipping of a bag; the animated chatter of voices. She felt a pang in her heart. Matt's familiar muffled tone was talking so much! She had never heard him speak so much before.

Then Tai's door opened. Steps walking away. The front door opening, then shutting. She felt sudden emptiness at knowing Matt was gone.

A sudden knocking at her door jerked her back into reality. Kari sat up abruptly, nearly knocking her bedside lamp over. "Come in!" she called out in a strangled voice, straightening her lamp so it wouldn't crash down.

"Kari?" Tai's head popped through the crack of the open door. "Ready to dance?" he asked with a wink. Kari made a face at him.

"Taaaai, I don't want to dance now!"

"Why not?" Tai asked, a genuinely curious expression on his face. "Something up?"

"No," Kari replied testily, grabbing the pillow on her bed and throwing it at the door. Tai ducked, letting out a noise of indignation.

"What was _that _for?" he cried, eyes wide. Kari giggled.

"Nothing. You were just there, in the way of the pillow." She shrugged, smiling. "Not my fault."

Tai rolled his eyes. "Oh, so now that Matt's gone you won't dance, hey?" He was smiling, joking—Kari knew that. But she immediately began to blush. She couldn't help it. She hated her sensitivity right now.

"Th—That's not true!" Kari cried angrily. Tai blinked.

"Um. Okay…" There were noises at the front door at that precise moment, flooding Kari with relief. "Ah, Mom and Dad! Good, I'm _hungry!_" With that Tai clicked her door shut, leaving Kari alone again…this time without the comfort of a pillow, which was now lying at the bottom of her door, crumpled.

A lot had happened today…Kari had plenty of time to mull over the days events…

Or she could go talk to her parents and try to forget about the whole thing.

_Avoidance. A much better plan, _Kari thought, jumping up and fleeing from her room toward the kitchen.

_Thinking is too dangerous sometimes. _


	2. Lesson 2: Avoid Falling Ill

**A/N: **Second chapter! Ah, let's see how it goes. (grin)

**Disclaimer: **I wish I owned Digimon. Wouldn't that be amazing?! Sigh.

* * *

**_Beating Hearts_**

_Chapter Two_

* * *

"**Why should ye be stricken any more? ye will revolt more and more: the whole head is sick, and the whole heart faint." – The Bible, Isaiah ch. 1 v. 5**

* * *

"Kari! Are you _sure_ you don't have a fever?"

Kari's mother hovered over her bed nervously, face flushed with worry and regret. Her father was at the foot of her bed, the same expression clearly written over his face.

"I'm fine," Kari mumbled, her eyes fluttering closed briefly before she willed herself to open them again. "Honestly! I'm…all right…"

"Doctor," she heard her mom mutter to her dad. "She needs a doctor."

"Mooom!" Kari groaned, hating how heavy her body felt. Twinkling lights blinded her vision, and her arms felt like lead as she raised them to tighten the quilt around her. "I'm okay, _honestly._"

"Kari, you're red! You're heating up and…and…"

Kari knew what her mom didn't want to say. _"Your eyes! They're filmy and…scary. Lifeless. Like before, when you were so little…"_

"Okay, okay. I'll stay _home._" She managed to blink an eye open. "But Tai has to get my school work. And…and…you have to make sure that my teachers know I'm sick, and not skipping. And art! I have art today, and I need to help…with sets…"

_TK._

"Honey, you'll be fine staying at home," she finally heard her dad say. His tone was tense, and she knew why. She hadn't been hit with a strong fever since…well…a long time. It was odd to feel like this. She remembered many days at the hospital, the white walls and white people, with their white instruments and white beds. It was horrible, but in this state it was all she could remember. The food had always been good though.

"Well…okay…" And then she heard her parents hustling out of her cramped bedroom, murmuring quietly. The door closed with a snap, and all Kari wanted to do was rip her window open and jump out, just so she could feel the cold wind rushing past her as she flew down to the sidewalk below. She was just so _hot._

_Creeeak. _"Kari?" Tai's voice, muddled with worry.

"Mhm," Kari managed to mutter, eyes not even bothering to open.

"Hey, are you okay?" His socked feet padded across the hardwood floor of Kari's bedroom. The bed squeaked as it sank at the foot where Tai seemed to be sitting. She glanced over to see him watching her with worry.

"Tai, I'm okay."

"That's not what Mom and Dad say."

"Then they're lying."

"Sleep?"

"Definitely."

"Eat?"

"Okay…"

"I'll get your work."

"Thanks."

"Hey…you're better though, aren't you?" The urgency in Tai's tone scared her. "You got better, remember?"

_Voices, voices, voices…those horrible voices that itched at the back of Kari's mind. Squeaking, pulling, grabbing…_

"Yes, Tai. I don't—you know—hear anything," said Kari, not the least embarrassed about confessing she had heard voices before.

A sigh of relief escaped Tai before he could stop it. "Oh, okay. Good. Well…goodnight?"

Kari managed to let out a quiet laugh. "Goodnight."

* * *

_Sick? She isn't sick. You're lying!_

_Ma'am, your daughter is severely sick. No doctors can trace exactly what's wrong with her, but…it's something with her mind._

_Her mind?! No! Kari is perfectly fine! My daughter isn't sick!_

_Sir, she seems to have a disease of some sort._

_No disease! What are you talking about?_

_Kari is OKAY! Stop YELLING!_

_Tai, please, this is not the time._

_She's FINE! There's nothing wrong with my sister! Leave her alone!_

_I'm sorry, but she complains of hearing…I don't know…voices. Does that mean anything?_

Silence. Echoing, bulging, swelling silence. A sneeze from the little girl in the arms of the woman. Everything is hazy, misty, as if covered with rain.

…_No._

_Maybe she should see a psychologist. I know a very qualified man—_

_She doesn't need mental help!_

_Kari is very stable!_

_The smartest girl at her daycare!_

_Yes, of course, but that doesn't mean she isn't hiding something in her brain. _

_Children have the capacity to hide things if they subconsciously know their parents won't approve. I'm afraid you two will have to be more open-minded if you want to save your daughter._

_Shifting feet. Murmurs of a doctor and a patient in the next cubicle._

…_Voices?_

_A sigh of relief from the doctor._

_Yes, voices. She says that whenever she gets a fever—which seems to be often—they don't seem to leave her alone._

_Is there—there anything we can…we can…_

_The woman's voice breaks and tears start to flow. The soothing voice of the husband, handing the small girl over to the older brother, who immediately toddles over to the toys and makes sure she doesn't hear anymore of the conversation._

_Please…calm down…something may fix her, don't worry…there is always hope…_

* * *

"Asleep?"

"I guess so."

"Should we make her…I dunno…food or something?"

"TK!"

"Y—Yes?"

"Go find soup."

"Um—okay."

"Hello?" Kari murmured feebly, her eyes thick with sleep. She had fallen into a heavy and deep sleep, and was surprised the hissing voices at her door had aroused her into awareness.

"Kari! Look Tai, you woke her up. Nice one."

"Hey, it wasn't _me, _Sora! Geez, don't have a cow…"

"You okay?"

That voice. The voice that sent her fevered heart into convulsive shivers. "Matt?"

"Yea, that's me." The voice was right near her bed. It seemed that he had moved closer in.

"You might get sick," she muttered, grinning weakly.

"I'm sure I can risk it," he said, tone completely serious. "How're you feeling?"

"Truthfully?"

"Yes."

Kari tried to crack her eyes open. When she did daylight screamed in her face, causing her face to twitch as she tried to get used to the light. "I feel _terrible._"

"Kari! We're all here to visit you!" cried a voice: Mimi's (she had arrived back in Japan earlier this year).

"School's done _already?_" Kari tried desperately to sit up, fear jumping down her throat. "I can't believe I slept that entire time!" She still felt hot, but she had to get up. "Tai! Did you bring my…home…wor…" Her sentence drifted off as her head slumped down to her shoulder. She couldn't lift it, as hard as she tried. Matt's muffled voice echoed in her ears, and she desperately wanted to wake up, open her eyes, see how close he was…but all she felt was searing pain throughout her body and a voice screaming _I want to die already!_

And then all went black.

* * *

"Water," was the first word that escaped her dry, cracked lips. She licked them slowly, blinking her eyes feebly. Her room was filled with half-darkness, and she knew the sun was just beginning to set. She didn't register who was in her room until a small squabble broke out about who should get the water.

"Me!" TK finally cried, jumping up and running to the kitchen. Kari blinked again, trying to focus. She saw Tai and Sora sitting at the side of her bed, and she found herself looking for Matt.

Idiot.

"You're up!" Sora cried joyfully, smiling at her. "Thank goodness! We've been watching, just in case…you know…" Sora's eyes crinkled with concern, and Kari knew what she was thinking.

In case you collapse again.

"Thanks," she muttered, lifting a heavy hand to rub at her eye. She glanced over at Tai, who was leaning off of his chair at a precarious angle.

"You okay?" he asked softly in that brotherly tone of his that made Kari feel warm inside.

"Yea," she replied softly, grinning weakly. "Better, anyway."

Just then, TK burst into the room, panting with a glass of water in his hand. "Sorry there's only half of it left," he apologized, walking over and setting the glass in her outstretched hands, "It kind of sloshed out on my way back."

Kari grinned at TK, feeling a light blush creep into her cheeks. "Thanks," she replied softly, and TK gave her a small, yet adorable smile.

"Geez Teeks, way to screw up," muttered a voice from the doorway. Kari almost spit out the water she had just begun to drink, but managed to hastily gulp it down before having a coughing fit. Matt? Matt was _here?_

"KARI!" shouted Tai, jumping up from the chair and towards her. The others all gasped and ran closer too, but Kari just wouldn't stop coughing now that it had begun. She felt her lungs aching and screaming for air, but she just…couldn't…stop…air…she needed air…now…

"YOU IDIOTS!" snapped a voice, and Kari managed to realize through her oxygen-lacking vision that Matt was now beside her, having pushed Tai out of the way. He grabbed the glass of water and poured it down her throat, where she proceeded to half swallow it and half choke it back up. She felt like a baby, feeling water spill from her mouth, but some of it trickled down her throat, soothing the burning. It gave her a millisecond to breathe, and then she managed to get a longer breath, cough, longer breath, cough…

Finally she slumped down again, breathing raggedly. "Kari?" asked a voice hesitantly from the side of her bed. She opened an eye bleakly to see Matt watching her with concerned eyes. Normally she would have started blushing, but all she felt now was pain.

"I…'m…okay…" she mumbled, smiling weakly and taking another deep breath. Matt let out a small puff of air and glanced back at TK, Sora, and Tai.

"Shouldn't you guys know this stuff?" he asked. "Especially _you, _Tai."

"Hey!" Tai cried out. "I was nervous, all right?" But all TK did was give Kari a troubled expression, fidgeting nervously on the spot.

Kari grinned warmly at all of them. "It's okay," she said softly. "It hasn't happened for awhile…"

"Ssh," Matt commanded instantly, placing a finger to his lips. Kari obeyed instantly (of course), and Matt ushered all of the others out. TK gave Kari one last nervous glance, but then Matt shoved him out of the door. He turned around to close the door, and Kari was thankful.

"Hey, Matt?" she whispered quietly and suddenly, so quietly that she was afraid he hadn't heard. But he perked up his ears instantly.

"Yea?" he asked, watching her with the intense eyes that always forced Kari to look away. She did, down to her clenched fists that lay on her stomach.

"The…fever has nothing…to do with the…dancing." She blinked at him, and Matt allowed his face to change to one that was genuinely shocked.

"H—How did you…?"

"Because you're th—the most…worried…" She gave him a wobbly grin that indicated she was starting to feel drowsy again. "I knew there had to be a…r…rea…son…"

Matt smiled his smirk at her. "What, a guy can't worry about you without some sort of hidden reason?"

Kari thought back to her dream and shook her head slightly, completely serious. "No."

Matt watched her, looking slightly troubled as her eyes fluttered shut and she fell into a fitful sleep. A few moments after he was sure she was asleep, he closed the door softly, still thinking over the last few words of their conversation.

* * *

"Hey…Tai?"

Matt and Tai were sitting out in Tai's living room; Tai was chowing down on ramen, and Matt was sitting on the couch opposite of him, staring down at his hands that lay face up on his lap. Tai slurped back some noodles and glanced up at his friend.

"Yea?" he asked through a mouthful of food. The others had come and gone (except for TK, who was now sitting outside of Kari's room like an attentive watch dog), and Matt was staying because he had to stay as long as TK did. He didn't know why, but he felt like he had to. Brotherly instinct or something like that.

"Has this happened before?"

Tai looked over at Matt, whose brow was furrowed unnaturally for him. Not concentrating, which was about the only other time it was like that. He cocked his head quizzically, and Matt winced at his expression, immediately smoothing over his face. That seemed to set Tai at ease, because he sat back in the couch and observed for a few seconds before replying.

"Well, a long time ago. When she was little, you know? The Digiworld days. Then it just…stopped." His face was now worried, his eyes and nose scrunched up like they usually were when he began to over think things. "Mom and Dad are gonna _freak out _if she's not better."

Matt glanced at him. "Why?"

"Because…" Tai sighed heavily, shaking his mop of shaggy hair. "Nevermind. They're just really paranoid."

Matt watched Tai for a few more moments, as if it would cause him to spill more information, but he refused to. _I guess he's only quiet when it comes to his family, _he mused, clenching and unclenching his fists out of habit as he thought.

"Does it take her long to get better?" he asked.

"I dunno…This seems a bit different then normal." Tai bit his bottom lip and the two lapsed into thoughtful silence. "I guess I should go check on her…"

"I bet TK has it covered," Matt assured, frowning as he realized his statement was probably true.

Tai managed to chuckle. "I'm sure he does. But still. Gotta make sure I know what I'm talking about when the parents get home." Tai hopped up and scurried out towards the hall and Kari's room; Matt listened attentively as his brother and Tai exchanged mumbled words. TK came ambling down the hall as a door in the distance clicked open and then closed again.

"Hey," Matt greeted in his usual lazy way, making sure to slouch back as TK came in. He didn't want to act as if he cared. For some reason.

"Hi," TK replied, taking a seat beside Matt. For a few seconds he sat straight up, but suddenly he let out a breath of air and sagged into the couch. Matt quirked an eyebrow, feeling his stomach bubble with worry.

"What's up?"

"She's not doing any better," TK mumbled quietly, twiddling his thumbs almost nervously. "Kari won't wake up or answer or eat or drink or _anything. _She just lays there, tossing and mumbling and…and I think she's having nightmares or something." TK shrugged. "It seems to be more…"

"A mental thing then a physical thing," Matt finished in a murmured tone, nodding. "That's what I thought too."

TK looked quickly over at his brother, eyes wide with hope. "Do you know how to fix it?" he asked eagerly: a little _too _eagerly in Matt's opinion. He hesitated, and then shrugged.

"No idea," he answered, seeing TK's shoulders deflate at his words. "Sorry bro."

TK sighed again. "It's okay," he answered sadly. "I guess we'll just have to wait."

"Hey, Tai has it the worst of us," Matt told him almost sternly. "Kari's his _sister._"

"…Yea," responded TK absently, picking at a scratch on his palm. "But that doesn't mean I can't worry as much."

_I think it does, _Matt thought suddenly, but then shook his head. Where did _that _come from? "I suppose," he answered instead, and that's when Tai came slinking back down the hall and landed on the opposite couch with a soft _thud. _

"Bad?" TK asked anxiously, the worry lines on his face obvious. Matt decided to keep his expression neutral.

"Not _bad,_" he muttered, his voice muffled, face still planted in the sofa cushions, "But not exactly _better._" He scratched his head and sat up slowly, yawning. "Now it seems to be starting to turn into the old stuff."

"Old stuff?" Matt asked.

"Yea, you know. The nightmares, the mutters, the…crying and stuff." He shrugged, but Matt could see his best friend was nearly stretched to his limit. It looked like he was going to burst soon.

"I'll take over from here," Matt assured suddenly, standing up without really realizing what he was doing. TK and Tai both stared at him. He felt his brow furrow.

"What? I don't want you two dying from exhaustion or anything on me. I'll be fine." He glanced down at TK who was watching him fretfully.

"If anything happens…"

"I'll tell you," Matt responded automatically, ruffling TK's hair absent-mindedly and in a rare gesture of brotherly-ness. "It'll be fine, don't worry." As he walked down the hall he heard Tai mutter something to TK, but he didn't wait long enough to hear.

"Teeks, you should head home soon," he called down the hall suddenly. "It's late."

"But—"

"I have an excuse. Mom'll explode if you don't go home."

TK mumbled something incoherent and from the lack of noise Matt knew TK wasn't moving. He sighed heavily. Well, he had tried; his parents, although separated, would still join forces to teach him a lesson about being a good brother. Rolling his eyes to the sky, Matt took a seat similar to TK's outside of Kari's room, shuffling down onto the small blanket TK had stolen from Tai's room to rest on the floor. He rested his head against the wall, resisting the temptation to peek into her room. He didn't want to wake her up.

Matt thought of a lot of things while sitting there. He thought of all his friends and how strange and sort of magical it was that even after all of this time, they bonded together to help one of them; after all this time, Matt still didn't know anything about Kari, the girl he was supposedly watching over this very moment; a new song he could fiddle with on his guitar for the band; wondering what his dad would say when he came home late; what Tai's and Kari's parents would say when they got home…

As if to answer his question, he heard the click of a key in the apartment door down the hall.

Before he bolted out of the apartment, leaving the excuse making to Tai (he was such a good friend), he twisted the knob abruptly in Kari's room to take a look in. Just to make sure she wasn't dying or anything.

But she was fine, although he could hear her ragged breathing from where he stood. She lay on her bed with the sun setting through the window and shining like some kind of holy light on her.

Light… 

Realizing he was staring (at Tai's _sister, _no less!), he shut the door quickly, without bothering to be quiet.

She would be okay. She had to be.


	3. Lesson 3: Accept All Attention Happily

**A/N: **And so we meet again for the third time! Good, good. Thanks so much for the reviews! It lets me write just that much faster, my friends. (grin) Thanks again! I wrote this chapter quite a while ago (I think I actually started this weird story in the summer), so it's pretty strange. Teehee. Which translates to ignore the bandmates: I think I was sleep-deprived when I wrote this chapter.

**Disclaimer: **I wish I could WATCH that episode where Matt babysits Kari. But that has nothing to do with this spot. I don't own Digimon.

* * *

**_Beating Hearts_**

_Chapter Three_

* * *

**"Separate we come, and separate we go, And this be it known, is all that we know." – Conrad Aiken**

* * *

_Mom! Mom! MOOM!_

_What is it, honey?_

_I had another dream…_

_Another one? Kari, you should be lying down; you know what the doctor said._

_But I'm not tired! Look at my throat! And I'm not hot anymore!_

_Tiny hands grab larger ones and place them on a small forehead. It's as cool as water._

_Yes, well, the doctor said to sleep until the…the people leave you alone._

_They're not bad, you know._

_I believe you._

_No you don't! I can tell!_

_Kari, don't—_

_How come no one believes me?_

_Kari, you tried to follow one off the balcony once! _

_It said I'm supposed to leave…_

_Kari…_

_How come I couldn't go on that camping trip with Tai and his friends?_

_Because the doctor told you not to._

_The doctor isn't the king of the world, though!_

_Kari, this is enough. I don't want you being rude to all of us because of the people you hear, all right? If you're mad, go be mad in your room._

_But the dream! I have to tell you about the dream!_

_Small hands tugging on a flowery skirt. Tug. Tug. They don't let go._

_All right. Let Mommy sit down and I'll listen to your dream._

_Okay. _

_Feet patter after larger ones. They sit down in a small bedroom, pink and girly with butterfly stickers adorning the walls._

_They tell me a lot of stuff, you know. I'm not actually _sick. _It's the only way they can talk to me, when I'm sleepy and hot and stuff._

_What about the dream, Kari?_

_Oh yea! Well, they said I should've gone on the trip._

_Kari, please don't use this as an excuse to go with your brother and his friends…_

_It's not an excuse! I promise! It's really, really true!_

_Kari, time to get some sleep._

_Mooom…_

Sleep.

* * *

"Matt? Matt? _MATT!_" The sharp voice of Matt's drummer, Mee (it was a strange nickname he had never really explained) awoke Matt out of his half-asleep stupor.

"Huh?" he asked thickly, turning to face his somewhat friend. Actually, Matt usually felt like beating Mee up more often than not, but thinking about the band snapped him out of it all of the time.

"Three hot chicks are totally digging you right now."

Another nerve gone. That annoying way he _talked, _it just—

Matt's eyes wandered until he saw three blonde girls in the cafeteria table beside them. They were eating tiny salads, drinking water, and had a cookie the size of button to share between the three of them. They were giggling and watching him with nervous, flickering eyes. Matt resisted the urge to throw something at them. Instead, he just gave them one of his winning smiles, which sent them all into giggles and harsh, hurried whispers.

"Why're you so out of it, man?" The bassist for the Teenage Wolves, Lee (why was he seeing a pattern here?) stuffed a piece of whatever the lunch was into his mouth. "The past three days you've been—like—outta here."

Matt shrugged. "Just…stuff."

The two friends were used to his vague answers, so instead simply took it in stride and went on to talk about other things. More than ever, Matt craved to just sit with his old friends and laugh at Tai, talk to Sora, maybe even flirt around with Mimi a little. Scanning the crowd, he saw them all scattered about; Tai with his soccer friends, Sora with _her _soccer friends, Mimi with the acting kids, and Izzy was probably off in the computer lab.

Seeing all of his friends separated at something as small as lunch made Matt feel very empty inside.

And no TK made him feel just as nauseous. He knew he was at Kari's, hounding her every breath whenever he could get a spare moment. Lunch, for instance.

Kari's parents had exploded, as Matt heard from Tai. They had completely lost it, calling all sorts of doctors and psychiatrists, even though Tai continued to lie and say it was just physical this time. But Kari had basically been put under house arrest, being unable to take even a step out of her room (not that she really could) without being interrogated by her mother or father. They had even taken off work to stay and watch over her. Sweet, in a way, but also irritating. Matt wanted to go see how she was doing, but Tai's parents had always scared him. In fact, all parents did. Especially his own.

And just to add to his new frustrations, Kari hadn't been to school for three days.

This was what Lee and Mee had been talking about: Matt completely zoning out and thinking about other things totally irrelevant to one another. It made him sick to realize he was turning into some kind of dreamy boy with hopes and wishes or something like that.

"Hey, you guys going to that bogus charity dance the school's having?"

Matt rolled his eyes at Mee's voice. "Of course we are, you idiot. We're _playing _at it."

"Oh yea! Dude!"

Matt finally did get to throw something (at Mee: his spoon) and stalked out of the cafeteria without even bothering to put his tray away.

* * *

"So, you're getting better?"

Kari grinned weakly at TK's words; she was sitting up, a book in one hand and an apple TK had forced into her grasp in the other. "Loads," she reassured him. "My parents don't think so, but at least I can breathe normally now."

"That's great," TK said sincerely, relieved. Kari smiled at him. He was so sweet.

"When do you have to be back at the school?" she asked, regretting the feeling of being alone again. Her parents were always outside, but they rarely came in to _talk, _scared that they might catch whatever mental disease she had.

"In a few minutes," TK responded vaguely. Kari accepted it and asked a question instead.

"Where's everyone else?"

The young boy hesitated before shrugging. "Oh, you know, here and there…" He shrugged again. "They're all really busy."

Kari smiled. "Oh, okay. Well, if you see anyone tell them I miss them, okay?" _Where's Matt? Why isn't Matt with you? _She felt like accusing him, although she had no idea why. Well, obviously. It was that little crush she had adopted, and in Matt's absence it seemed to have ballooned just a little; not to a TK crush proportion though. She didn't think it ever could.

"Definitely."

"Thanks…"

"Maybe some of us can come visit tonight, since it's Saturday!" TK's voice was so excited that Kari had to smile, even though she knew everyone was busy with their own lives.

"That would be nice," she replied neutrally. And then TK smiled and had to leave, and Kari was left in the heavy silence once again.

* * *

"Matt!" The squeaky voice of Mimi echoed in Matt's ears. He was standing at his locker, a rarity for him. Usually he just carried around…oh…nothing, but today he was grabbing some old music he had scribbled on the back of his notebook months ago. It had occurred to him during Japanese class that he should try working on it.

"Yea?" he asked, looking behind his open locker door to see her standing there, beaming from underneath her pink hair. He couldn't help but feel a small smile tug at the corners of his lips. "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing! Just that all of us are visiting Kari today. Wanna come?"

Matt felt his stomach drop. "Oh?" he asked, hearing his voice come out a little choked up. He coughed into his hand. "Uh—sure. If I'm not busy."

Mimi's face grew dejected. "Oh, okay."

"But—ah—I'm pretty sure I have nothing going on."

A smile immediately appeared on her features once more. With a wave and a goodbye, Mimi was racing down the hall, leaving Matt to growl at his stupidity.

There was one very large reason he didn't want to go to Tai's house: _parents. _He hated parents. He really didn't want to see his parents. But maybe, with everyone else there, things would be all right.

* * *

"MOM! DAD!" Tai bellowed as the troupe of children skittered quietly into the home as if someone had died. The only loud one was Tai, who dropped his bag unceremoniously on the ground and dashed for the kitchen for food. TK immediately took off down the hall, and Mimi and Sora followed Tai to go talk to his parents. Izzy may have gone with TK, and Joe had arrived earlier than all of them; Matt could hear him talking from the kitchen.

Feeling awkward and a bit empty, Matt walked aimlessly around the entrance area of the apartment. Not wanting to face Tai's parents (for some reason he felt they would blame it all on him), he walked slowly down the hall to Kari's room. The door was open a crack and instead of going inside, he leaned against the wall with his hands stuffed into his pockets and his head leaning to the side so he could listen.

"Feeling better?"

"A little." Faintly. "You don't have to worry so much."

"It's just been so long…"

Silence.

"Is it like the events that occurred during our time in the Digiworld?" came Izzy's voice, crisp and to the point as usual.

Kari let out a heavy sigh, as if she had discussed this topic many times. Thinking about it, Matt assumed she had. "No, it's not. I don't hear the voices." Simple, as if it were normal. And yet, Matt felt a chill crawl up his spine. "But the others don't believe me."

"_I _believe you," TK said reassuringly, his voice warm. Matt felt irritation poking at the back of his mind. Had his brother always been so passive and agreeable? It was annoying. Deciding it was time for Matt to make his entrance, he opened the door lightly, taking in the scene of TK sitting at the end of Kari's bed with Izzy taking the unoccupied chair. Kari was sitting up in bed, her arms wrapped loosely around her hunched in legs. All three smiled at him, particularly Kari. She must have been socially deprived lately.

"Hey," he greeted lazily. "Good to see you sitting up now."

Kari's face turned a tinge of pink. "Thanks," she mumbled. Matt shrugged off her strange behaviour and plopped down on the other chair that was amid the clothes and homework scattered over Kari's floor.

"So do you just have a fever then?" he asked simply again, trying not to look at TK, who was watching Kari with the bizarre adoration of some lovesick puppy. "None of that stuff from a while ago?"

Kari frowned slightly and shook her head. "Nope. Just a fever. Everyone's been asking me," she added with a hint of exasperation.

"I know," Matt assured her, flicking some blonde hair out of his eyes with a finger. "I just decided I might as well join that list."

Kari let out a small grin, which felt to Matt like a good enough accomplishment. Wait. Since when had he set out to make her smile in the first place?

He shook such thoughts out of his head, instead listening dimly to TK, Kari, and Izzy discuss something or other he could honestly care less about. Tai, Sora, Mimi, and Joe all flooded into Kari's room, making it hot and stuffy and loud. But then Izzy had to dash to a computer club meeting, so he left early. Matt, feeling a headache coming on, slid out of the room, unnoticed.

Except by one girl, who watched him escape with a tugging heart.

* * *

"Leaving already?"

Mat stood up abruptly from where he had been bending down to tie his shoes, banging the back of his head on the shelf where the family hung their jackets. Matt grimaced, cursing silently as he gripped the back of his head and glanced up to see Kari weakly propped against the wall. He frowned.

"You should be in bed," he ordered. Kari smiled.

"I need to go to the washroom _sometime, _you know."

Matt felt his face heat up a little, but as always he kept it calm. "Of course." He flicked his gaze toward her, watching her carefully. She blinked quickly, as if trying to ward off his gaze. He felt it and looked back down at his shoes almost uncomfortably.

"How did you know?" he asked quietly.

"Because I saw you leave, and I just wanted to know why." Her reason was obvious, but Matt couldn't think of an identically obvious answer. He shrugged.

"It was a little crowded."

"But you always play at concerts! _My room's _crowded?" Her tone wasn't accusing, but merely curious. Matt finally managed to look up this time; Kari wasn't looking so great, but at least she could talk now.

"I just felt a little…weird, okay?"

Kari was watching him with unusual intensity. Matt scratched the back of his throbbing head idly. "Uh…are you feeling a bit sick again or something?" he asked.

"Wha--? Oh! No, I'm okay." She was blushing and looking down at her sock feet, the nice, normal picture of the Kari Matt knew. But…did Matt actually know anything about Kari? He wasn't too sure he did, after all.

"All right then." A heavy silence. "Don't you think they'll all be wondering where you are?"

Kari hesitated before nodding, still focussing furiously on her wiggling toes. "Yea, I guess so."

Matt didn't know what to say now. It seemed a bit rude to just say "Okay, bye then" or something. But he didn't want to go back either. Why not? Hadn't he just been aching for the old gang to meet up again?

"Kari! There you are!" TK's familiar voice jerked both of them out of their thoughtful reveries. Kari was too slow to turn around, and Matt watched as TK wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "We were starting to wonder!" he added with a nervous little chuckle.

"…Yea, I was just saying bye," Kari finally managed in a quiet whisper, looking up at Matt. He twitched anxiously at her gaze. There was definitely something different about her when she had a fever.

TK gave Matt a curious look, one that seemed surprised but was also mingled with protectiveness. Matt snorted.

"Something funny?" TK asked almost snappishly. Matt shrugged his shoulders.

"Nothing," he managed, although he found the idea of TK feeling the need to 'protect' Kari from him hilarious. She was just a little girl for crying out loud! "I'll see you guys later," he added nonchalantly. TK gave him a small smile; Matt gave his famous smirk back.

But all Kari did was bob her head at Matt's farewell and hobble fretfully down the hall back to her room. TK hurried after her, leaving Matt in the entrance feeling very confused.

Until he heard Tai's parents in the background, snapping him out of it and causing him to dash out of the apartment as if it were on fire.

* * *

"Mom, can I go to school tomorrow?" Kari's question was abrupt as she waddled into the kitchen, pale body seeking out some sort of nourishment.

Her mom, who had been sitting at the dinner table reading the evening newspaper, jumped out of her spot, surprised. "Kari! What are you doing out of bed?"

"I'm feeling loads better," Kari assured, although she knew that her argument would more than likely prove to be futile. "I'm even hungry now! The doctor said that would be a good sign, didn't he?"

"Well…" Her mom's prolonged silence scared Kari. She felt like a leper, hiding out at her home the entire week! She had felt so nice and peaceful when everyone was in her room; she had been especially surprised to see Joe. But strange circumstances would always keep them all together, she supposed. But most of all, she had been delighted as Matt sidled into her room. But he had left so soon! Kari felt like she had done something wrong, and it made her feel absurd.

"Kari? Kari!" Her mother's harsh voice brought her back to Earth. "Honestly! If you ask a question you should pay attention to the answer!"

Kari bowed her head hurriedly. "Sorry Mom," she mumbled. "I was just thinking…about school," she hinted not so subtly.

A sigh. "Kari, you can go to school as long as you make sure not to over-exert yourself. And don't eat any heavy foods! And most of all, don't—" Her mom hesitated, not looking her daughter in the eye. Kari pulled the milk out of the refrigerator and poured a glass. Slowly, she took a gulp.

"It's okay Mom. I won't act different."

Her mom smiled, relieved. "Don't be afraid to call home."

Kari inwardly sighed, annoyed at being kept in this cage her parents seem to set up whenever something happened to her. "I won't, Mom."

But deep inside, she felt elated. School! People!

And as soon as she thought that, her insides shrivelled. The dance was in _ten days._

Ten days to learn how to dance. As if she could remember all of that crazy waltzing! She gulped.

It was just one thing after another, wasn't it?


	4. Lesson 4: Don't Lie in Front of Kari

**A/N: **Thank you for the review, my two reviewers, haha! Hopefully more of you guys will read this one, teehee.

**Disclaimer: **Not miiiine!

* * *

**_Beating Hearts_**

_Chapter Four_

* * *

_**Anger is a short madness. -Quintus Horatius Flaccus Horace**_

* * *

Matt was trying to play his guitar. His fingers, usually nimble across the strings, were sluggish. He kept missing notes or getting them wrong. He even tried to play an old song rather than a new one; it was _really _old and he knew it like the back of his hand. But even that proved to be futile, because inside he still felt that cloud of anxiety that wasn't dissipating.

His anxiety grew to frustration, which rocketed into anger. Growling deeply, his hands clenched the neck of his guitar so tightly the knuckles were turning white. That deep, hidden vicious anger that hadn't grown in so long was starting to leak out of his body.

Not wanting to destroy his guitar by chucking it into the wall (a very soothing thought), Matt laid it on his bed with eerily calm fingers.

And then he whirled around, grabbed a school textbook, and threw it at the wall with such force it ricocheted back in his direction, leaving a sizable dent in the wall.

It was okay though, because his dad wasn't home to hear the explosive noise; nor had he come home in time to notice one of their plates was missing because Matt had to clean it up (he had broken it when the book had smashed into his desk, where a day old plate had been sitting).

And then he found himself walking out of his apartment, locking it up, and walking swiftly down the street to school.

* * *

Kari, unbeknownst to Matt's frustration, was taking her first steps out of her home as a free girl.

Her parents had both gotten the guts to head off to work that morning, and Kari was now toddling along the street, her backpack slung over one shoulder as she used the other side of her body to lean her weight on.

It was a strange experience, walking again. She almost felt like laughing, she hadn't seen her feet move in so long! School was going to be a different mess altogether. All those people? No space? She wouldn't be surprised if she had to go home halfway through the day.

But she wouldn't let that happen. She needed to get better before the dance, see TK, and find Matt…

Matt.

Of course, she only had to ask him to help her dance again. Yea. That was all…

Soon Kari found herself in the busy section of Tokyo. Well, one of them anyway. It was her usual path to school and she was almost too scared to cross the streets. There were so many people that she was afraid of being jostled over and not being able to get up…maybe people would laugh at her! Kari felt her face blushing as she just thought of it, standing stoically on the side of the road, refusing to budge.

"Kari?"

The words jolted her out of her angry state of reverence (was that even possible?). She spun around—rather slowly—to see Matt standing behind him, dressed in his school uniform. And yet he managed to make it just look that much cooler: rolled up sleeves, loosened tie, and untucked shirt…oh yes.

"Hey Matt," she squeaked, fighting to blink in his gaze. She finally managed it, her eyes averting to stare at the scattered pebbles on the cement beneath them.

Matt, still tense for reasons he didn't understand, resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "How is it, walking again?"

Kari gulped. His words were short and snappy; she knew that sound from the Digiworld days. Matt was in a bad mood. _Oh great, and I just happened to catch him in one._ His anger was pretty notorious in Kari's house. One of Tai's favorite things to talk about was how he and Matt constantly fought in "the good ol' days", whatever _that _meant.

"It's…okay," she squeaked. "A bit difficult," she added on for clarification. Matt only nodded, his face still scrunched up. Kari blinked, not knowing what to say. "Um…" Suddenly she wanted to cross the street. "I guess…I'll go…"

Matt looked up and nodded, trudging along beside her across the crosswalk. She was taking small, nervous steps and was trying desperately to think of a way to lose Matt before they reached the school. If he continued to walk with her it would just be weird!

After they crossed the street, she coughed. Matt's fists were dug into his pockets, and she could see by the way he walked he was irritated about something. "Uh…you don't have to—you know—feel like you have to make sure I don't fall or anything," Kari squawked out awkwardly. Matt looked up at her, his eyes clear for once.

"Huh?"

Kari's jaw dropped open, but she quickly had the sense to close it. Matt being…confused? How was that even possible?

"I just…said…" She hesitated. "I said…what's wrong?" Her voice was timid, as if she was afraid Matt would lash out and hit her or something.

"Wrong?" he tried to laugh, but Kari could hear it was strained. "Nothing, nothing." He lifted out one hand to pat her on the head absently. Kari blushed and ducked her head. Matt seemed a little surprised, but if he was any more he didn't show it. He hastily stuffed his hand back into his pocket. What was he supposed to say? He didn't even know _what _was making him grouchy, except for that it had something to do with his last visit to Tai and Kari's. It had all been a blur, visiting her with everyone else, but something after it had just left him feeling…strange. And he couldn't even explain it because he didn't know what it was himself.

Meanwhile, Kari was trying to gather the courage to ask Matt to teach her how to dance. She knew it wasn't a good time, but when was she going to see him again? Now that she wasn't sick, meeting with him would be less and less.

"Um…Matt…"

"Hmm?" he asked, trying desperately to calm down. Kari didn't deserve to face his anger. It wasn't pretty, and he knew it. He let out a deep breath.

"Would you…well…I need to…um…" Silence. "I haven't really finished…learning how to dance," she mumbled, the last part coming out squeakily.

Matt looked over at her, his gaze cool. Expressionless. Kari instantly took it to be a face that clearly said "No".

"Ah, I'm sorry!" she mumbled, blushing. "It's a stupid question, anyway." She wanted to kick at a pebble for effect or something, but was afraid if she ruined the pattern of walking her legs might collapse beneath her.

"When do you need the next lesson?" he asked nonchalantly, glancing down at her legs. "Probably when you can walk normally."

Kari frowned. "Well, I—" And then she stopped. _Is he agreeing? _Her heart started to speed up, and she had no clue why. "Um—yea. Soon. Probably." And then she let out a shrill, nervous giggle. She could have slapped herself for it. Thankfully, it lifted the corners of Matt's lips a little. It almost seemed like it hadn't happened, but Kari was sure of it. She hade made him smile, even in his weird raging mood.

"Well, then. We'll just have to find each other when that happens," he said tonelessly. Kari nodded silently.

_As if I'd have trouble finding you, _she thought, and then let out an inner gasp. What was she _becoming? _Some sort of freaky Matt fangirl? Maybe she shouldn't take the lessons after all…

But it was too late, because Matt's spirits were lifted just a little bit and Kari couldn't possibly take that away from him. So she started to hum a song instead, a song that helped keep her legs moving. Matt began to nod his head to the song, his inner musician obviously showing in his actions.

"Hey," he said suddenly, interrupting Kari's hums. "Isn't that one of the songs from your record we had to dance to?"

Kari blinked. Huh. "You're…right," she finally realized. And she giggled a little. "That's so weird!" And they both had a little chuckle over it, because both of them had remembered something so insignificant in their time spent together.

* * *

School was…tolerable, to say the least. Kari really was jostled around, and her books fell from her hands numerous times because her body was still slow with reacting these days. But there was always another student who would help her, and for that she was very grateful.

But she _hated _the way she felt. Still hot, still feverish. It was getting harder and harder to escape the crazy fits her sickness gave her. Kari would have much preferred to be sleeping that entire day. She couldn't focus, couldn't cool down. She was worried people would start avoiding her because she would be melting into a puddle of sweat. Thankfully that didn't happen and Kari was just paranoid. But still. She just wanted to go _home._

"Kari?" A timid voice asked. She slowly turned her head in the hall to see…

"TK!" she cried, relieved to see such a great face. Her expression broke into a smile even though she still felt sick. "Thank goodness! I've been wanting to see you all day!"  
TK's face turned a tinge of pink. "Really?" he asked shyly. "How come?"

Kari smiled. "Because I can walk!" She did a little twirl in the hallway, feeling a little woozy. But she smiled anyway. "Tada!"

TK clapped politely, grinning. "Well, I'm just glad you're out of bed." And he gave her a quick hug. Kari smiled and squeezed him back, feeling giddy.

_What would I feel like if _Matt _hugged me…? NO. NO, STOP. _

She shook her head, stepping away from TK. "So, how're you?" she asked vaguely instead.

"I'm better now that I've seen you," he told her, glancing at the clock on the wall. "Hey, do you want to meet up for lunch? The cafeteria is really crowded, and I know you're probably still kind of…not feeling well…" She saw the worry in his eyes, but there was also something else. Something else she didn't like, and saw in her parent's eyes everytime she got so little as a sore throat.

"Um…yes, of course," she agreed brightly. "At my locker?"

TK nodded and patted her shoulder as he walked past, down the hall to his next class. Kari stood still in the hall, blinking rapidly. TK wasn't…no. She was just worried. TK wouldn't be afraid of her, would he?

No. She laughed a little nervously, brushing the thought off. No, of course not.

* * *

Matt was outside, staring at his little home made lunch. Cooking had always been his forte, and last night he had made a lunch for himself and for TK to give him the next morning. He was such a protective older brother, even when they lived in separate houses. But Matt didn't trust their mom to give TK the nourishment he needed, so he was always up to the task of cooking.

He picked at his food thoughtfully, not even thinking about going inside. It was too hot in that school. Too clammy. He wasn't as angry as he had been that morning, but the strange frustration was still prickling at the back of his neck. He _hated _not knowing what was bothering him. It used to always be Tai. Tai, Tai, Tai. That was always easy, because he could just yell and scream and throw a few punches at the brat. But now he knew he couldn't exactly visit his best friend and punch him in the face without good reason. He sighed thoughtfully, clicking his chopsticks together and shovelling up some grains of rice from his box.

That was when he glanced up from his spot under the tree. From the front doors of the school you couldn't see him, because a giant stone pillar was in the way. But at the angle Matt was crouching in, he could see—and hear—everything people said at the front doors.

And TK was holding a door open for Kari.

And he handed her the lunch Matt had made for him.

Now, Matt didn't know why it irked him. It wasn't TK's food to give away, after all! If Kari was going to eat Matt's food, Matt wanted to be the one to give it to her. He wanted to hear her compliments. Blinking, Matt gulped down his rice, risking choking. What was he even _thinking _about?

_I think I'm losing my mind, _he thought sadly as he continued to watch TK and Kari.

"Where do you want to sit?" TK asked perkily. Matt was glad to see his brother wasn't so fretful and worrisome anymore, now that Kari was better. But…he knew he was happier _because _Kari was better. That didn't make the situation any better.

"Um…it's kind of hot out. How about in the shade?" she asked softly, hobbling along on her poor sickly body. Matt felt a frown puckering his lips; his food lay forgotten in his lap.

"How about that tree?" TK asked, and Matt saw him pointing his finger toward Matt. He almost choked again as they started to walk towards him. For some reason Matt did _not _want to talk to lovey-dovey TK and Kari. He always wanted to dunk his head in some ice-cold lake after seeing them. So he hastily slipped around to the back of the tree, where he now faced the forest bordering that side of the school. Only at the last second did he remember his lunch, and inched his hand along the large base of the trunk until he touched the box. Quick as a flash it was in his lap again, and he was trying desperately to breathe quietly. Now that he had gotten himself into such a stupid, awkward situation, he couldn't just leave. Not _now. _They would definitely wonder why in the world he had been eavesdropping…not that he was! No…why would he care, anyway? Their conversations were so boring.

And he was right. The two idly chit-chatted for a while, and Matt was hardly feeling the suspense. He could hear them fidgeting only a tree's width away. He was glad for the tree's thick width at that moment, because then they couldn't see any of he telltale blonde hair poking out.

"This is delicious!" Kari suddenly cried. "Did you make it?"

TK was silent and then let out a little chuckle. "Oh no, I can't cook. Matt likes to be a mother and cook us lunches for school. He gives them to me in the morning."

Matt felt his face burning red. A _mother_? He was just being a good older brother!

"Well, next time you see him…" Kari's sentence drifted, and Matt felt himself waiting with bated breath. Silently scolding himself, Matt started to breathe quietly again. "Tell him I said it was amazing."

Matt felt a small smile tugging at his lips.

"Of course," TK agreed, and then quickly steered the conversation in another pointless direction.

That was when the pigeon came.

Matt hadn't been expecting it. He was just getting comfortable because the two younger kids obviously had no clue he was right there, two steps away from them behind the same tree they were leaning against. But he hadn't calculated a crazed bird into his hiding place.

It had been pecking absently at the ground near Matt, until it spotted stray bits of rice from Matt's lunch scattered on the ground. It began to peck hungrily, and when the rice was gone it leaped onto the last supply: Matt's lap.

He almost let out a squawk like the bird's, but held it in as the bird looked up in his face. It cooed as it dug its feet around in his sweet, delicious food. It was horrible. It was terribly painful. Matt felt like some sort of monster was destroying his children. And the bird continued to peck the rice, making a clunking noise with its beak against the plastic of the dish. Matt froze, not even daring to breathe. The bird decided to flap its wings a few times for good measure; whacking Matt's face so hard he had to sneeze.

"Did you hear that?" Kari asked, her voice unnaturally alert. Matt held his breathe, glaring at the pigeon with every fibre of his being. It just continued to eat his food in a relaxed way, occasionally shuffling around in the dish.

"Hear what?" TK asked, his mouth full of food by the sounds of it.

"A…clunking noise. And a sneeze."

Matt silently cursed.

"Uh…nope."

"Oh. Okay!"

Stupid bird. Stupid, stupid bird. It didn't know what it was doing, flapping around aimlessly like the dumb creature it was. But Matt still couldn't help but hate it, because if he pushed it away it would just shriek and startle Kari enough into peeking around the tree, only to find Matt hidden in the shadows. How freaky would _that _be?

The bird was getting angry now. The rice was almost all gone and it had no interest in the other food Matt had worked so hard on. With an angry squeak it flew up around Matt's head, tugging at his hair. He flinched, cringing and gripping his head with his arms to try and protect his hair. _What is WRONG with this bird? _He mentally shouted, but of course he couldn't scare the animal away with his voice. He flinched again as the bird ripped at another strand of hair. His lunch box wiggled on his knees and then fell to the grass with a not-so-soft _thud._

"Okay, I definitely heard something this time."

Matt bit his bottom lip, trying desperately to think of a reasonable story as to why he would be behind the tree.

Before he could think or react, he heard rustling. And then Kari's brown eyes peeked over the side of the tree. She saw a pigeon attacking Matt's head, hooting and cawing and screeching. Matt looked pale and absolutely sick. Kari frowned.

"Matt?" She asked, definitely shocked. Why was he sitting behind the tree?

He looked up through one eye, the other blinking shut in pain as the bird struck at his head yet again. "Oh, Kari!" he said, feigning surprise as he jumped up. He could finally make noise and shooed the bird away, calling it some things Kari would have preferred not to hear. When he turned around to face here again, his face was just like marble yet again. He no longer looked in pain or as if a pigeon had just been attacking him. He looked perfect, except for the slightly ruffled hair on his head.

"Matt?" TK asked, shocked and peering out from the other side of the tree. He stood up with a disapproving look on his face. "What are you doing back here?"

Matt glanced back at him, caught between the two. Quick, a story! A really good one, too! "Oh, you know me!" Matt blurted out before he could stop himself. "Friends to all the birds and bees!" _What the _hell? "I was helping this little bird out when it started to attack and it shoved me up against the tree. I had to run from that crazed thing!"

Kari giggled. Matt relaxed. It _could _make sense. But TK was still watching him warily. "Why is your lunch on the ground?"

Matt blinked and looked down at his overturned dish. "Oh, because…ah…it's a long story…" He blinked. Couldn't think of anything. When had this ever happened? Had Matt ever been speechless before in his entire life?

Kari stood up shakily. "Did you drop it when the bird was chasing you?" she asked, leaning against the tree for support. Matt whirled around to face her and saw the look in her eyes. She obviously didn't believe his pathetic lie, but was still adding to his story. Why would she be doing that? Didn't Kari disapprove of lies heartily?

"Uh—yea. Yes," he said again, wiping his face clean of the anxiety that had been flickering on it for a brief second earlier. "Sorry if I scared you two and your lovely little lunch," he added, pinching TK's cheek. His younger brother flinched away, blushing. Matt smirked.

Kari still stood against the tree, unblinking. Matt cast her a surreptitious glance but then looked quickly away. Why was she being so silent and…unsmiling? It was weird.

"Did you have enough to eat?" she finally asked in a worried voice. Matt blinked. "It seems like most of your lunch fell on the ground," she said. Matt nodded slowly.

"I ate enough," he told her shortly, suddenly feeling that frustrated prickling on the back of his neck.

"Okay," she agreed slowly, and a silence fell over them. TK watched, half-hidden by the tree still, as Matt and Kari blinked at each other. He coughed. Matt snapped his head around as if coming out of a trance.

"Anyway," he said, picking up the box his lunch had been in and snapping the lid shut on it, "I have to leave." He ruffled TK's hair. "Later Teeks. Bye, Kari."

"Bye," they said in unison, but Kari watched Matt for a long time after he had left the tree. She continued to wonder why he had been hiding behind the tree, but she decided not to think about it too much. Not yet.

"That was weird, huh?" TK asked suddenly, walking over to Kari. "Matt can be such a strange guy sometimes."

Kari giggled at TK's words. "I think it's fine," she whispered softly. TK gave her a worried gaze, but said nothing else as they sat down to finish their lunch. Matt's lunch.

* * *

"Dude, are you a zombie or what?" Tai asked, taking two quick steps to get in stride with Matt, who just walked faster. Tai frowned and hopped his way back to beside Matt, who was glowering at the sidewalk. "Come on, man! What's up?" He tugged at his arm, forcing him to slow down. Matt shrugged.

"I broke a plate this morning," he said randomly.

Tai blinked and shrugged as the two walked down the busy streets back to Tai's apartment. "Uh…okay."

"And I wanted to throw my guitar."

Tai nodded sagely, as if Matt's spurted out sentences made all the sense in the world. "Ah, I see," he began wisely, holding his hands together thoughtfully. "The grasshopper's wings are starting to extend."

Matt gave Tai a crazy look, but laughed anyway. "You're so weird, Tai."

Tai shrugged, glad that Matt was no longer as broody. "It runs in the family," he said instead of asking Matt about his craziness that morning. But of course his curiosity got the better of him.

"How come you wanted to throw your guitar?" he asked a few minutes later. Matt stiffened.

"I…don't know," he answered truthfully. "I was just really mad for some reason."

Tai frowned. "That's strange. Usually _I _make you mad."

Matt snorted. "That's what I thought too."

Silence.

"Video games will help," Tai promised, nodding firmly. "I'm a hundred percent sure!"

Matt rolled his eyes. "Well, how can I argue with that?"

"Exactly!" Tai said. "Now hurry up, I wanna beat you!" he jeered, running ahead. Matt puffed out air. Hadn't he been dragging his sleeve to slow him down only a few minutes ago?

When they finally got into the apartment, they heard the squeal of a chair being pushed back from the kitchen table.

Angrily.

"TAI!" shrieked a voice, and they both cringed. Angry Kari was never a good sign to a fun afternoon. "What do you THINK you're DOING, going into my ROOM and—" Kari cut off mid-rant as soon as she entered the main entrance of the apartment. Her eyes met with Matt's for an instant and then lowered hastily to the ground.

Matt blinked but shrugged it off. She was probably still fretting over the absurd tree incident. "What'd you do, Tai?" he asked, smirking his famous smirk.

"Nothing!" Tai blurted, glaring at Kari. "Can you stop bugging me every_day_?"

Kari hesitated and then nodded. "Okay." She spun around and shuffled her way down the hall. There were a few moments of tense silence until the two boys heard the click of Kari shutting her bedroom door. And then Tai snorted.

"What just happened?" he asked, sliding off his shoes. "She just gave up. Like _that_!" He snapped his fingers for emphasis. "That never happens!"

Matt was setting his bag on the floor, his expression uneasy. "Uh…yea. Well, just seeing Kari angry is strange in itself."

Tai rolled his eyes. "Poor, innocent Matt. Thank goodness you don't live in this home." He dumped his bag haphazardly on the ground and headed to their living room. "You wouldn't be able to stand the _real _Kari!"

Matt frowned, following Tai into the familiar room. His friend pressed the button on the game console, flicking the TV on and tossing a controller to Matt. He was still standing, his lips puckered down.

"What's the _real _Kari like, then?" he asked, finally getting the hint to sit down. Tai was flopped crookedly across a sofa. At Matt's question he made a noise of agitation.

"Why do you care?" he asked, poking Matt's shoulder with his foot. Matt swatted it away. He knew he shouldn't have sat on the ground.

"I don't," he said coldly. "I just…" He lapsed into silence. "It seems weird. That's all."

"Yea, well, Kari's pretty weird herself." Tai pressed the start button and waited for it to load. "Her mood can change so fast. Sometimes you have no clue what she's thinking. She's actually really sneaky. It's strange. You think she's all happy and cupcakes and rainbows, but then she turns around and has some really serious blackmail against you that you _know _she's not afraid to use."

Matt turned around, smirking. Tai's eyes were glued to the game screen, not even realizing what he had said. "What, so Kari's got some blackmail on you?"

Tai blinked. "I—huh? What? No! NO!" he shouted again, shooting up into a stiffer position at Matt's words. "I'm serious! You can go ask her yourself! Nothing! Nope! Nada! Now shut up and play the stupid video game!"

Matt's supercilious smile only grew wider at Tai's desperateness, but he gave in and turned around although his mind wasn't really on the game.

_"You think she's all happy and cupcakes and rainbows…"_

Matt suddenly felt ashamed. He _had _thought that. He had always seen her as the sweet, innocent girl. And she probably was sweet, and she definitely _was _innocent, but not everyone can be one-dimensional like that. Matt knew, after all. He had always been classified as the cold jerk, and here he was, being totally uncold and unjerky.

"Matt? Maaaaatt?" Tai's foot was poking Matt's shoulder again. He slapped it away and Tai whined.

"STOP doing that!" Matt snapped, and the two played video games in icy silence for a while until Kari came out of her room and threw her pillow at Tai's face from across the room. That definitely cheered Matt up, and he began to laugh as Tai sputtered and ripped the pillow away from his head. Only when his eyes accidentally latched onto Kari's did he immediately stop laughing. Because Kari really _did _look mad.

"THAT'S for digging around in my room!" she snapped, her voice unlike Matt had ever heard it. He blinked. Did he even _listen _to that girl all the other times he had been over and Tai and Kari had gotten in arguments? He assumed he must have just zoned out or something…

"Kari, you're such a pest! I'm busy right now, if you couldn't tell." Tai pointed at the TV screen with his foot, flopping his head back on Kari's pillow. Kari frowned.

"Tai, give me back my pillow!"

"You gave it to me!"

"I _threw _it at you!"

"Same thing!"

"Give your sick sister her pillow back, Tai."

"Nope. Matt, I'm gonna kick your butt."

"Taiiii!"

"NOPE. Hurry up Matt, press 'A' already…"

Matt tugged the pillow out from underneath Tai's head before he could object. "I—uh—what? Matt! Give me back the pillow!" But Matt had already walked over to Kari and given her the pillow back. She was looked up at him almost warily, her hands holding the other side of the pillow. Matt quickly let go and turned around to face Tai.

"Why were you even in Kari's room?"

Tai's face flushed. "She always steals my stuff!"

"Like what, your half-chewed up pencils?"

"It's a _nervous habit_!"

Kari was still standing there, clutching her pillow tightly.

"Whatever Tai. I'll kick your butt at the stupid game now."

"Fine," grumbled Tai. "Kari, go away."

"Uh—um—thanks…"

Matt turned around at Kari's soft voice and blinked. She changed so _fast_! She had just been screaming at Tai a second ago, hadn't she? Matt shook his head. Obviously her personality changed. Duh.

"Whatever," he said airily, but he couldn't ignore the brief expression of hurt that flashed across Kari's face. After a hesitant pause, she whirled around on the spot and trotted back to her room on wobbly legs. And Matt couldn't help but feel, once again, that strange guilty feeling that he had never had to bother with before.

Until now.


	5. Lesson 5: No Stalking Matt

**A/N: **I'm baaaack! I just finished my first semester and I have my science final in two days, erk! Wish me luck! But it'd be better if you reviewed. (wink)

PS: Sorry for Kari this chapter. She just didn't want to cooperate with me, grr.

**Disclaimer: **I like to think the plot is sort of mine, but it's not like anyone hasn't written one like it before. Oh yea, and the characters aren't mine. Haha.

* * *

**_Beating Hearts_**

_Chapter Five_

* * *

**Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary. – _Mark Twain _**

* * *

****

Kari stared at her roof, blinking as she woke up slowly. It was the next day. The early morning. She knew it was too early to go to school, as her room was still in that stage between the loss of the dark and the beginning of the light. Her body felt fine, she realized. No sweating. No shivers. No strange dreams that had been haunting her for the past while. She felt…good.

With a yawn she swung her body up into a sitting position, her feet resting on the cold hardwood of her floor. Her desk was organized and neat, but only yesterday it had been ruffled and messed. Tai had gone searching in her room again; probably for that incriminating picture of him she had taken so long ago and continued to hold in a secret place until she needed it most.

"Good morning, sunshine," she mumbled to herself for no particular reason. Today she was going to try and find Matt in school. She needed those dance lessons seriously, now. The dance was coming in only a week, and it was the talk of the school. Even if it was just for charity, and didn't even take place in their school, it was their school that was holding it and everyone was excited. It was a chance for them to wear their own clothes, hang out with school friends they hadn't before. It was also a chance to dance with the one you liked. In her case, she had been excited to dance with TK. She had been imagining for weeks what it would be like. They would dance, leave the building for some fresh air, and it would be dark and crisp outside. She would wrap her hands around her arms, trying to warm up. TK would come closer, giving her his own body as warmth, hugging her close, and confessing his feelings…

But she hadn't had that fantasy in quite a while. Not since…not since that first crazy dance lesson with Matt.

Rolling her eyes, Kari stood up taller and walked toward her closet. She lazily pulled her school uniform from its hanger, tossing it onto her bed. She would go and have a shower and then maybe mosey around the apartment a bit longer. Kari didn't feel like staying in her home for longer than necessary. She didn't know why. Maybe because Tai was really bothering her lately. Maybe because she had no one to talk to about her strange new feelings she had been trying to ignore. It was hard, keeping it all bottled inside of her. No one would understand…she didn't really have any friends outside of Davis and that group. But she couldn't talk to them about it because they were all friends with TK and could see that Kari and TK had a thing for each other. What would they think of she turned her back on him? On them? No, they would all be angry. And Davis…Davis would just ignore her, knowing him.

So really, Kari was all alone these days. No one to confide in. It was a lonely feeling, one she wasn't used to. She didn't like it one bit.

At school, Kari was unlucky enough not to see Matt anywhere. In fact, she had seen TK's face bobbing in the crowd a few times that morning, but she had always turned her tail and walked quickly in the opposite direction, choosing the long way to her next class instead of facing TK. She didn't know why she didn't want to talk to him. Maybe because she would blurt out Matt's name by accident or something stupid.

When she could find no sign of Matt that morning (she just wanted the mortifying embarrassment of asking him to be _over _with!), her mind couldn't help but drift to the incident the previous day. She had gone outside to eat lunch with TK, when she had heard some weird noises from behind the tree. She had expected it to be some animal or something, but it turned out to be Matt. She hadn't believed her eyes, but she knew there was something more to his story than what he said. Which, she decided, had been the lamest lie ever. Matt definitely hadn't been cool and collected at that moment, and Kari felt that that had evolved her feelings for him even more. She wished he would stay stone for the rest of his life, but alas, she saw his less stony side at her own apartment all the time when he visited Tai. She had never noticed it before, but now she was seeing it all of the time. So she had quickly covered his sorry excuse for an alibi and just decided she would question him about it later, if ever. It was better not understanding everything Matt did, she decided. Safer, too.

At lunch she sat alone in the girls bathroom, picking at her sandwich. She didn't want to face TK, who would be sure to ask her to eat lunch with him again. She didn't want to face any of her friends, who would probably catch onto her coldness sooner than she would ever want. She didn't want to face Tai, who was obnoxious, or Izzy, who would probably break her down into statistics in a matter of seconds and discover how she really felt. Not Sora, who had always been so nice to her, or Mimi, who could sense girl troubles before she even knew whom the girl was. And especially, _especially, _not Matt, who would probably avoid her eyes after being so strangely nice at her apartment the other day. She had acted like a spasmodic, which she always did when she was angry with Tai, anyway. But it had never seemed to matter before, whether Matt was there or not. But yesterday he had been so nice, grabbed her pillow for her…

She shook her head, setting her container on the floor and resting her forehead in her hands tiredly. Obviously Matt was only being a nice guy. It was rare, but it happened.

Standing up, she unlatched the door and dumped the rest of her lunch in the garbage. She washed her hands methodically. Lukewarm water, soap, scrub, rinse. Soap, scrub, rinse. She turned off the tap and dried her hands, grabbing her old pink Tupperware container before leaving the empty washroom where her breaths echoed off of the tile walls.

Down the hall she heard voices. The school was basically empty, since everyone went outside to eat in such nice weather. She walked slowly, not wanting to interrupt the people's conversation with her presence. But as she got closer to the corner of the hall, the voices abruptly became louder and she recognized one of them with horror.

"So, do you think you can make it?" It was a voice, high-pitched and unfamiliar. Kari pressed her back to the row of lockers, trying desperately to keep her breathing quiet so she could hear what was going on.

"Oh, I think so," replied that voice. That amazing, deep, rumbling voice that had changed so much from his junior high years. She could feel the charm just radiating off of him like it usually did. This girl was obviously captured, but what bothered Kari was how Matt was actually _agreeing _to whatever this girl was talking about.

"It's on the same night as the lame school dance though," the girl said scornfully. Kari could just imagine them, propped against the wall and looking deeply into each other's eyes…

"Hey, hey, my band is _playing _at that lame school dance," he chided lightly in a tone Kari had never heard before. It was soothing and comfortable. _That's strange, _Kari mused. _I've never even heard him talk like that around any of our friends. Unless it's…oh no! What if it's like his girl-capturing voice or something? Is that why I've never heard it? Because he doesn't want to capture me? _

"Oh, right. Well, you're not playing the whole time, right? Aren't you just like, the intro band to the DJ or whatever?"

"Yea. Something like that," Matt replied in an aloof tone. "I can definitely make it, though. There won't be anything to do at the dance after we're done playing."

Kari felt her eyes widen. Felt her heartbeat quicken. _How could I have been so stupid? _She bereted herself viciously.

"'Kay, well, bye! Can't wait to see you," cooed the girl, and then Kari heard her footsteps coming closer and closer to the corner, but Kari couldn't move herself. She was plastered against the lockers with doom. Before she could peel herself away and run for her life, the girl spotted her. She was tall, taller than Kari but shorter than Matt. The perfect height. Perfectly skinny, tanned to the perfect darkness. Her raven hair was loose and almost down to her waist. Make-up coated her face and eyes in just the right places. Her heels were huge and glittery, and her uniform was loose and untied or tied to accentuate her body. All Kari could do was stare. Stare at this girl who seemed to be infatuated with Matt and looked great enough to pull it off, too.

"What're you looking at?" she sneered, peppy voice instantly gone. Kari blinked. She must look freaky, that was all.

"Nothing," she mumbled, suddenly feeling insecure in her perfect uniform with the sleeves down to her wrists and necktie all done up like it was supposed to be. Her face was plain and clear of any make-up and her hair was straight and brown, sick and boring. Just like her.

The girl blinked at her, and then took a step backward to look at someone down the hall she had just come from. Kari paled. "MATT! HEY, MATT!" the girl shrieked. Kari clenched her eyes shut, not even able to look at this girl who seemed to enjoy torturing her. "It looks like you've got a fangirl over here!" she shouted, and then strutted away giggling to herself.

It was silent. Kari was hoping, praying, that Matt had only shrugged and walked away or something. She hoped he wouldn't be nice, wouldn't try to talk to the pathetic girl who must be following him around the school, listening to his conversations…

"Kari?!" he asked, his tone bewildered and his voice right in front of her face. Kari could have melted. She still didn't open her eyes.

"Oh, um, hi! Er, Matt! What's…uh…how're…erk…well…yea! Cool!" Oh lord, what was she babbling about? It didn't even make sense! Even the scent of Matt was freaking her out. She realized with horror that this was definitely more than just a schoolgirl crush. Definitely more.

"What're you doing here?" his tone was curious, but Kari heard with a sinking feeling that it sounded nothing like it had with the Beautiful Girl. It had been so sweet and low, like he was singing to her or something. But now his voice was back to normal.

"I was just—uh—bathroom. Wait! No!" She clenched her eyes shut tighter. "I was eating!" She waved her container in the air, hoping it wouldn't hit Matt in the face or anything. It didn't. "Walked…outside. Going outside…TK! I was going to see TK!" she finally gasped out, glad to have landed on something solid. _TK. _They could never argue against that.

"Are you okay?" Kari hated hearing his voice when she had heard it sound so amazing before. Why was it back to its old way, the cold, offish manner it had always sounded to anyone else?

"Who was that girl?" she asked bluntly, and then cursed herself silently. Was she mental?

He ignored the question. "Why won't you open your eyes?" he asked, and she heard his face coming closer. She panicked.

"NO REASON," she shouted desperately, hoping her voice would send him back. It didn't.

"Come on, I'm not that ugly," he joked, and Kari felt the tears beginning to prick at the back of her eyes. "Right?" he continued.

"Ssss…S—St…"

Matt was silent. "What?" he asked, coming closer still. Kari felt the tears, itching to crawl loose and slither down her face. She held them back.

"Stop," she finally managed in a choked out whisper. Silence.

"Stop what?" he asked. "Talking to you?"

"Yes!" Kari cried, keeping her eyes defiantly shut. She knew her words took him by surprise. "Yes, stop talking to me! Yes, stop joking around! Yes, stop acting like you're my friend or that you even realize who I am when you obviously _don't_!" _STOP, _she ordered herself, but she couldn't. She was on a roll with feelings she hadn't even known she felt. "I mean, just because you taught me how to dance and I had fun and I was hoping to get more lessons from you which is why you're talking to me right now, because I was looking for you, doesn't mean you can do that!"

More silence. It filled the hallway until Kari could barely breathe, and she wondered if Matt was still there.

"You're crying," he said flatly. Kari wanted to blink, to feel the tears, but she didn't because she could sense them falling down her cheeks anyway.

"Didn't you listen to anything I just said?" she asked in a hushed voice.

"Yes."

"…Okay."

She hated what she had become. A blubbering mess. What was Matt thinking? That she was psycho? That she was losing her mind? She wanted to stay strong. To beat these emotions out of her and fall back into her fantasy with TK.

She could feel that was impossible now.

"How about tonight?"

Kari couldn't help it. Her eyes snapped open. She saw through red-rimmed eyes that Matt was standing in front of her, arms crossed across his chest and looking agitated, but also sort of sad. When he saw her eyes open his expression of mild shock was quickly wiped away, along with the sadness and agitation and replaced with the familiar marble features.

"What?" she asked hoarsely, rubbing at her cheeks like some sort of small child.

"Tonight. We'll work on that dancing."

"Oh. Well." She hadn't been expecting that. He hadn't even acknowledged her strange burst. Maybe it was just too awkward for them both. "Okay," she agreed in a defeated sort of way. No matter how much she complained about Matt acting like they were friends when they really didn't seem to be, she just couldn't pull away from him either.

Matt leaned in closer. Too close. Kari blinked. Stray tears fell loosely from the corners of her eyes. She wished desperately they would stop. As if she didn't look horrible enough already!

"I'm sorry, okay?"

Kari couldn't blink this time. She stared at him, wide-eyed and silent. Sorry? _Sorry? _Had Matt just…apologized?

"Oh." She was just full of great words today.

"I didn't know that I was bugging you so much." He stepped away. Kari winced.

"Ah, no, it wasn't really like that. I don't know what just happened, or why I yelled. Maybe it was because that girl embarrassed me, or because you used that voice or something, or maybe because I'm still sick or maybe it's just being a girl, or—"

"Voice?" Matt looked down at her. "When did I use 'that voice'?"

Kari paled. Had she said that? Oh no, she _had _said that! "No voice. What voice? Your voice? Your voice is hard to understand," she gibbered. "I mean, look at me! My voice is easy to understand. Basically, I'm crazy. I've lost my mind. You can hear it. But your voice is different and really hard to get, you know? Well, probably not. Because I'm crazy. Yes. Remember?"

Kari could have slapped herself. Over. And over. And _over. _What was she even talking about? Since when had she had such a strange prattling habit?

"Kari."

"Huh?" she asked, face flushed with embarrassment and tears. Matt was looking the other way, out the window to the yard below.

"That's not what you meant."

Silence. What was she supposed to say? She decided not to avoid the subject this time. "I know."

"You won't tell me what you're crying about though, will you?"  
Hesitance. "No."

"Does it have to do with me?"

"You just said I wouldn't tell you."

Matt turned around, smirking. "Tai was right."

Kari blinked, and then felt herself blush more. They had been talking about her? Oh, all the mortifying things Tai must have said about her! "Whatever Tai told you is a lie—"

"He said you were sneaky sometimes," Matt interrupted without hearing her previous words.

Kari stopped talking. "Oh. Uh. I am?" She hadn't really thought about it.

"Yea." He nodded slowly, but his eyes were somewhere else. "Sorry for making you cry."

Sorry…_twice! _It was like a new world record! "It wasn't you," she lied. She didn't know why she did, but Kari just didn't want Matt to think he affected her that badly. She just _didn't. _"It's been a bad week. That's all."

"Okay."

"What time tonight?" she asked, changing the topic. The two had a pattern. Edge around the corner of the problem, but then quickly switch the topic. Edge, switch. Edge, switch. Just like washing her hands. A pattern. A rhythm. She never realized it before.

"After supper. I have to jam with the band a bit first."

"Oh."

"Practice for the dance."

"Yea."

"Well."

"Okay."

Kari couldn't help but smile a little. Their conversation was so strange! Just one word sentences and they were done. Matt saw her smiling and the corners of his mouth lifted up a bit.

"See?"

"What?" she asked.

"I'm not that ugly after all."

Kari couldn't help it. She burst into laughter.

* * *

"Twenty minutes, maybe? Twenty-five?"

"What are you mumbling to yourself about? And quit hovering by the door, that's freaky."

"Tai! Go play your stupid video games and quit bothering me."

"Fine."

"Good."

Kari watched Tai turn into the living room and breathed a small sigh of relief. So it looked like Matt hadn't told her brother about paying a visit. Maybe she _should _stop hovering by the door. It was a little pathetic.

She walked into the empty sewing room, the middle space still swept open from her last dancing lesson. She plumped a pillow on a nearby chair idly, trying to get her thoughts under control. Last time Matt had danced with her, Kari's spine had tingled and her tongue had seemed to stop working properly. What would happen _now? _Her heart had definitely been acting up lately. And would things be awkward between them? She had darted away from Matt as quickly as she could after he had made her laugh, because what girl wanted to be pathetic and hang around for too long? _Especially _after throwing a tantrum that made it look like they were a _couple. _Pffft.

The doorbell rang. Kari felt her heart shudder and then gasped in worry as she heard Tai getting up to answer the door, yelling something at their parents about school or something.

"NO! WAIT! I'LL GET IT!" Kari screeched, darting out of the sewing room and running up to Tai and grabbing his shirt collar from the back. "I'LL GET IT!" she shouted again, and Tai winced.

"Geez, Kari! Want all of Japan to hear you? Crap," he muttered darkly, rubbing at his ears. "I think my ears are bleeding."

"Shush," Kari scolded, shoving him into the living room. "It's just my friend."

Tai's eyebrows rose. "It's been a while since you brought friends over."

Kari rolled her eyes. "It's not a hot girl, Tai."

"I wasn't thinking that!" Tai objected, but his pink cheeks told the truth.

Kari just turned around and finger combed her hair for a second before unlocking the door and opening it just enough so her head could poke through.

Matt stood in front of her, looking dashing as always. He had his guitar bag slung across his back and his school uniform jacket was gone, his sleeves rolled up to the elbow and his tie hanging loosely from his neck. He glanced up from his watch as Kari's face emerged from behind the door. He smirked.

"I was wondering when you were gonna answer."

"Ah, yes, well, Tai wouldn't shut up," she said in something like a whisper. Matt quirked an eyebrow and Kari knew what he had discovered.

"He doesn't know I'm here?"

"Well—uh—maybe not, but only because he'd force you to play video games or something stupid like that! I need you to teach me to dance," she added stubbornly, as if that sealed the deal and if Matt talked to Tai she would personally murder him. Matt gulped.

"Just lead the way, ma'am," he said, bowing mockingly. Kari felt her cheeks turn pink but she turned around and opened the door for him before he saw. By the time she closed it her face was back to normal.

"Hey Kari, who's ove—" Tai turned the corner but stopped as his eyes saw Matt sliding off his shoes, one hand holding the guitar bag on his back so it wouldn't slip over his shoulder. "MATT?" he cried, and Kari shushed him.

"Mom and Dad are trying to work, Tai!" she snapped, and then turned to her side to see Matt watching them with an amused expression.

"Well, where's your friend?" Tai craned his head as if a gorgeous girl would just pop out of one of the nearby shoes. "Is she late?"

"Tai," Matt said, shaking his head woefully. Tai blinked.

"What?!"

"Tai, Matt—uh—_is _my friend," she told him softly, the word friend rolling off her tongue like a foreign word. She had never seen Matt as a friend. Is that what they were now?

"Huuuuh?" Tai asked. "I don't get it. If you needed help with homework you could've asked me!" He looked insulted.

"Um, this is a different kind of homework," Kari replied stupidly, pushing at Matt's back to force him down the hall toward the sewing room.

"What're you—" Tai's eyes widened with shock. "OH MY GOD! A DIFFERENT KIND OF HOMEWORK?!" he yelled in a horrified tone. Kari had no idea what he was shouting about until Matt burst into a fit of giggles (well, whatever a Matt giggle sounded like), stopping in the hall. Kari looked up at the back of his head, perplexed. She turned around to look at Tai with hands on her hips.

"Tai, what're you freaking out about?" Kari asked, already exhausted with her brother.

"That you—and Matt—Matt and you—you guys—homework—SO not homework!" Tai finished, eyes still as wide as saucers.

"Tai, I have _no idea _what you're talking about!" Kari emphasized like she was talking to a dull-witted person. Which, she supposed, she was.

"Kari," Matt's voice was above her head, and his hand touched her shoulder gently as if to show her he had stopped laughing and was now listening to their conversation. "He thinks we're gonna go make out or something."

Kari blinked and turned around to face Matt, who was definitely too close. Why did he keep doing that? "Wha—" And then she stopped. Her eyes were as wide as Tai's now, and her face flamed as red as a tomato in under a second. "Oooooh!" she cried, embarrassed as she dug her face in her hands. She heard Matt laughing and explaining something to Tai about dancing and the dance, but she wasn't really listening. She was just mortified. She _had _made it sound like that! A 'different type of homework'? How vague and awkward did _that _sound? Oh God, and she had been totally oblivious as Matt had laughed and Tai had been boggled. Oh _God_!

"Kari? Kaaari? Kari?" Matt's voice snapped her out of her gloomy thoughts. Tai was hovering beside them in the hall, like he was afraid to leave them alone. Kari glared up at him through her fingers.

"Go. Away," she hissed, and Tai blinked.

"But now I'm woooorried," he whined. Matt rolled his eyes and grabbed Kari's wrist. Kari flinched at the touch, but he didn't seem to notice and proceeded to drag her to the sewing room.

"Tai, you're stupid."

"What? No I'm not!"

"It's not that new, you know. Everyone sees it but you."

"Just 'cause I'm a worried older brother—"

"Suuure," Matt replied, and then shut the sewing room door in Kari's brother's face, locking it shut behind them.

The silence of the room swamped around Kari, and the pressure in her mind was now growing heavier with this new moment. Great! Now the only thing in both their heads would be Tai's stupid thoughts and assumptions, and Kari wouldn't know what to say…

"Okay. Where's your old record player again?" Matt had turned around from the door, fully composed and ice-faced once more. Kari blinked.

"Um. By the sewing machine."

"Hm…oh, I see it." And he walked over, shuffling through the small pile of dusty dance records. He seemed to find one he liked, because he began to put it on the record player. Kari only watched, dazed. She was such a child, acting horrified because of Tai's words! Matt was all grown up and unfazed by it. Well, Kari could be too. She instantly tried to iron her expression out, but she kept thinking about stupid Tai…

"Okay. Ready?"

She blanked. "Ah…um…I'm still a bit—er—rusty. Ah." Stupid! She didn't sound composed at all!

"It's okay," Matt reassured, not batting an eyelid at Kari's stuttering. "It's been awhile."

"Hm, ah, yes. It has." _Get a grip! _She scolded herself. She wanted to stop humming and babbling. Learning to _talk _was definitely on her list of priorities right now.

The crackly old waltz started on the record, and Matt efficiently pulled Kari's hand into his, placing his hand on her waist. She forced all the cells in her face not to blush, and she placed her hand on his shoulder, trying to act calmly. She _had _to learn how to dance. Even though she'd probably be the only one waltzing…all alone…

The two danced in silence for a while, giving Kari the time to try to relearn the steps. She made a few noises of frustration or embarrassment when she messed up on following Matt, but soon her feet began to fall into the rhythm of tracing Matt's steps…back and forth, in a strange square pattern they were sweeping through the dust on the floor…

"Wait!" Kari cried suddenly, pulling back from Matt. She looked up at him to see him blinking slowly like he was falling out of a trance. Kari hadn't even glanced at him once while they were dancing. Did he really get that into a lame waltz?

"What?" Matt asked. "You were doing so well."

Kari turned pink at the compliment but refused to blush anymore. "What about the dancing that actually goes on at a dance? I mean, no offence, I like the waltz and all…but won't the kids kind of laugh at me if I ask a boy to _waltz_? What about the other dancing?" Kari began to fret like she had at the very beginning. "I mean, I don't go to many of these things! I don't know what I'm supposed to!"

Matt allowed her to ramble, and seeing that she sighed when she was done, he answered. "Dances are lame," he said gruffly, and Kari watched him with alarm. "Yes. Kids kind of wander through the room, not really having anywhere to go. Then the fast music plays and they just kind of wiggle their hips or something."

Kari paled. She didn't want to _wiggle her hips _in front of Matt! In front of any human being! Ever! "And," Matt continued, "when the slow music comes on, they just…" Kari frowned as Matt stepped closer, grabbing her hands and placing them around his shoulders. She had to stretch. "They just get a little close, like this," he instructed easily, as if he was teaching a kid how to tie their shoe. He placed both his hands on Kari's hips and she wanted to rip out of his grasp and run, run, run. People actually _got this close _to each other? "And then all they really do is sway to the music. Like I said, it's stupid." And he pulled away like that was that.

"Oh…yea. Of course," Kari responded quietly. She didn't know what else to say. Her heart was beating too fast and she hated herself for feeling this way about Matt. _Matt! _The-older-boy-who-had-to-baby-sit-her-once-and-_hated-_it Matt! The-Tai's-best-friend-and-waaay-too-old-for-her Matt! "I like the waltz," Kari joked, and a flicker of a smile swept past Matt's mouth.

"Me too."

"How come?" Kari asked, sitting down on of the chairs that were piled with old bits of cloth.

"How come what?" Matt asked, watching her with curiosity.

"How come you like the waltz so much?"

Matt shrugged, coming a little closer and sitting cross-legged on the ground near Kari. "I dunno," he replied evasively.

"You're lying," Kari scolded lightly. "Is it 'cause your parents taught it to you or something?"

Matt was silent. Kari had hit the bulls-eye without even meaning to. "Oh! Um, sorry," she apologized in a rush. "Was it before…?"

"The divorce? Yea. It was a long time ago, but what can I say? Those few memories stuck with me. I just learned it more over the years and grew better." Silence. "But yea, it was my mom who showed it to me first."

Kari felt so sad, watching the top of Matt's head and listening to his words. And here she was, with a perfectly fine family and she was always so annoyed at her parent's suffocation. Would Matt kill for suffocation like that? She instantly felt guilty, and before she could stop herself she could feel tears pooling in her eyes.

"But anyway," he said, standing up and turning to face Kari. "We haven't really been practicing for that long…" His words drifted when he saw tears pouring silently down Kari's face. Her eyes showed that her mind was someplace far off. "Kari?" he asked, taking a step closer. He had a bad feeling that she would start yelling at him again. She seemed to be in some sort of mood today.

Kari snapped to attention, and when she realized tears were falling down her cheeks she tried to laugh, but small hiccups kept interrupting her giggles.

"Kari, wha--?" Matt tried to ask, but she just shook her head.

"It's just so sad!" she blurted out, wiping at her cheeks. "Ah, I'm crying so much today. You must be freaked out." She laughed and hiccupped at the same time.

"I'm not freaked out," Matt lied. "I'm just worried."

Her expression turned even more mournful. "But about your mom and the dancing and the few memories…and here I am, annoyed with my parents all the time. I feel so selfish!" burst out Kari, and gave one last lonely hiccup before hastily drying her tears with one of the stray squares of silk that sat on the chair.

Matt didn't know what to do. No one had ever really _cried _for him before. It was embarrassing and a bit awkward. Besides, Tai was probably listening with his ear pressed against the door. Well, he might as well make whatever Tai thought he was listening to interesting.

With only a second of hesitation, Matt took a step over and brushed a hand through Kari's hair. That was it. After all, hugging wasn't really his thing. And besides, why would he hug her anyway? "Thanks," he said softly. Kari looked up at him with round eyes, wet with tears. "No one's ever done that before."

Kari hiccupped for the last time. "Oh. Um." She stood up nervously, stepping to the sides. "No problem." She wasn't blushing, Matt noticed. No, she was just very pale. And her face was screwed up into concentration. He wondered what it was she was trying to rein in.

"Okay. Okay. I'm okay." Kari smiled, and Matt felt more at ease. He knew how strange people could be (case and point: his parents), so he decided today he'd give her the benefit of the doubt.

"Just don't do it again," he teased lightly, but he wasn't sure it was all teasing. Kari nodded viciously.

"I promise! I won't!"

"Do what again?" came a muffled, panicked voice outside of the door. "You guys! Do what again?"

Kari frowned, but Matt had to laugh. Tai was always great at breaking tension. And he had to admit that, without a doubt, there was definitely some mysterious tension between him and Kari.


	6. Lesson 6: TK Causes A Lot of Problems

**A/N: **Oh no, the chapters are finally catching up with me! Sorry for the long wait...

**Disclaimer: **Not mine!

* * *

**_Beating Hearts_**

_Chapter 6_

* * *

**Guilt is present in the very hesitation, even though the deed be not committed. – Marcus Tullius Cicero**

* * *

"Heeeeey Kari," crooned a voice from her floor. Kari screamed, shooting up from her sleeping position and throwing the nearest thing (a pillow) where the voice had come from.

A muffled cry slowed her furiously beating heart. She peeked over the edge of her bed to see Tai lying on her floor, ripping the pillow from his face. "Tai!" she cried. "I was still sleeping! What are you doing?"

"It's almost noon," Tai moaned, fluffing the pillow and resting it on the floor beside Kari's bed. "Why were you sleeping so late?"

Kari blinked in the harsh morning light that was streaming through her small window and glanced at her clock. The pink rabbit ticked pleasantly beside her head, and did indeed show that it was almost noon.

"I don't know," she answered vaguely. Maybe because she had stayed up thinking about Matt? Maybe because she had lain awake for hours, going over the rest of their practice time last night?

It had gone well after Kari had calmed down and gotten a hold of herself (also after she had complained to her parents about Tai and her dad had gotten him to help with some filing to keep him out of Kari's way). They had waltzed for a while longer. She had had to take several breaks over their course of training for the next hour or so, because even though it was a slow dance, it seemed to suck the energy right out of her. Kari still hadn't been feeling one hundred percent better, and Matt had been so understanding about it. She snuggled deeper into her quilt, ignoring Tai, who was jabbering on about something.

"Kari? Kari! Listen to meeee!" he moaned, flopping around on the floor. Kari rolled her eyes and turned over to face the wall.

"You're so annoying, Tai!" Kari yelled.

"Tai, quit bothering your sister," came an echoing voice from down the hall. Kari smiled and laughed at Tai. He frowned sourly at her and tossed the pillow back in her face. She spluttered and glared at him.

"Wake up," he taunted with a singsong voice, and then pranced out of the room. Kari had to laugh. Sometimes it was okay being Tai's sister. At least he could make her laugh.

* * *

Matt was sitting at the table in his kitchen when he heard the bell buzzing at the door. He jolted out of his seat, still in his boxers and shirt from his sleep. His dad was gone early for work, even though it was a Sunday. He ran over to the door, pressing the button.

"Hello?" he asked into the microphone.

"Matt?" It was TK. His voice sounded worried.

"Oh, hey!" Matt greeted, stifling a yawn. Why was he still so exhausted at noon? "Come on up," he said, and pressed the button to open the door for him stories below. Matt unlocked his door and went back to the small kitchen table. His bowl of cereal sat there, calling for him. He shovelled down the whole thing and was washing the bowl by the time TK was in the apartment.

"Hey Teeks," Matt called from the sink. "I'm in the kitchen."

"Like always," TK teased, walking into the kitchen and taking a seat at the table. TK didn't live with Matt and his father, but it wasn't as if TK was a stranger to their apartment, or Matt to TK's. They still visited each other, so it helped keep their bond strong.

"What're you up to today?" Matt asked, scrubbing his bowl with a cloth to dry it.

"Hmm, nothing," TK replied evasively from behind Matt. He turned around, an eyebrow quirked.

"Nothing?" he repeated. "Sounds suspicious to me."

TK frowned lightly, but not at Matt. "Actually, I came here…for advice."

Matt instantly fell silent. Advice? Oh God, what was he going to ask? He hoped it wasn't…The Talk. Was Matt like TK's surrogate dad or something now?

"Uh, sure," Matt replied, setting his half-dried bowl on the counter and taking a seat at the table next to TK. "What's up?" He really was concerned. TK was the one thing in his life Matt would always worry about. No matter what, he wanted TK to be happy.

"It's about…girls."

Matt winced inside, but didn't let it show on his face. He rested his chin on his hands. "Kari, I hope," he prodded, and at her name felt a rush deep down in his navel area that froze him. He had almost forgotten Kari and TK were basically 'an item' until the moment he had spoken her name.

TK nodded absently, his face pink. "It's almost like she's…avoiding me." He mumbled out the last part, and Matt had to close his eyes briefly for a moment. Why did this conversation make him feel so…reluctant to speak?

"Why do you say that?" Matt asked, hiding a yawn behind his hand. TK didn't even notice; he was staring at the table, where his hands were crossed.

"I've seen her in the halls, and she just turns away from me when she sees me. And she never comes to lunch anymore…"

Matt blinked. "Really?" he asked, genuinely taken aback. TK nodded, glancing up at him.

"Why do you sound so surprised?"

"Well…the other day—yesterday, actually—she said she was eating lunch with you." Matt frowned. "She didn't?"

TK blinked, his eyes wide. "No," he said sadly. "I didn't see her at all yesterday."

Matt tapped his fingers on the table thoughtfully, unconsciously drumming out the rhythm to his band's latest song. "That's strange," he mumbled.

"When did you see her?" TK asked, intrigued. "Was she hiding from me?"

Matt laughed. "No, I'm sure she wasn't hiding from you. She just wanted to ask me something, so she hunted me down." He drifted off into silence, remembering their encounter in the hall yesterday. He wondered if she had heard him talking to Yuri, the girl who, he had to admit, was gorgeous. Matt hadn't exactly been himself around her (he was never himself around hot girls). Was that what she had meant by 'the voice'? What kind of voice had he talked to Yuri in?

"Was she okay?" TK asked, shattering Matt's memories. Just when he had been onto something, too!

"Huh? Oh…yes. I think so." She had refused to look at him. She had cried. She had yelled at him, all things he hadn't expected Kari to do. Remembering the scene made him realize even more that his thoughts were true; he knew next-to-nothing about Kari.

"You're lying," TK accused. Matt blinked at him.

"Excuse me?" he asked, his voice suddenly cold. TK was sitting up straighter now, staring at his brother.

"She wasn't okay, was she?" he asked worriedly. "It was something I did, wasn't it?"

"Gee, TK, don't you think Kari could have a life that _doesn't _revolve around you?" Matt snapped, and then felt a stab of guilt at the puppy-dog expression TK gave him.

"I just—I thought—she was avoiding…me…"

Matt stood up abruptly, walking back to his bowl. He finished drying it and set it in the cupboard above him. He saw his fingers were trembling lightly. He gripped his fists together tightly. "Maybe she was," he said tightly. "But maybe she just needs time or something. Did you say anything to her?" _Calm down, _he ordered himself. _Your temper's been in horrible check lately. Just…calm down. _

"I don't think so. I've been the same as always…" TK frowned. "I just…I want to ask her to the dance." Matt glanced at his brother, who was now blushing profusely. "I thought it would be…the perfect way, or something. I don't know. But now she won't even look me in the eye." He looked gloomily at the floor.

"Girls are…mysterious creatures," Matt said slowly, resting against the counter. He looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully. That's right. She had cried for him last night. Why? She had nothing to feel selfish about. And yet she had felt so bad for Matt. It wasn't even a pity cry. He had gotten the feeling she truly felt sad for him. That had been mysterious, indeed.

_If she cried for_ you_, she obviously cried for TK too. Your parents are his parents, _the cynical part of his brain shot out. He winced. It was true. Why was he trying to ignore it?

"Maybe I should try talking to her. Go to her house or something." TK looked up at Matt. "You think?" he asked hopefully. Matt kept his face impassive. What _did _he think?

"Truth is, Teeks, that's a bit pathetic," he replied frankly. He saw his brother's expression darken. "If you go there alone, without reason, you'll just freak her out." Matt fell silent. "We can both go today. Or something," he added in a careless tone, shrugging.

TK's face shone. "Really? Matt, you'd help me with this?" His grin widened. "Thanks!"

Matt smiled back, but felt guilt chewing at him from inside. Matt wanted to go to Tai's apartment, all right. But not wholly to help TK. What was _wrong _with him? Why did he want to glimpse Kari's face so badly? If it was emotion he was looking for, he just had to look at TK. TK was feminine enough for the both of them.

"Go on, then," Matt urged. "Go buy her flowers or something. I've gotta get dressed."

TK grinned. "Right away, boss!" he agreed, jumping out of his seat and rushing to the door faster than Matt could blink. As soon as the door closed lightly, Matt heaved a large sigh. There was something seriously wrong with him.

* * *

Tai had buzzed them up, excited to show Matt the newest level in his game. Matt was leading the way up the stairs, glancing back occasionally to see TK clutching onto his small bouquet of garden flowers, his expression worried.

"She'll be happy to see you," Matt reassured for what seemed like the hundredth time. They walked out onto Tai's floor as he said it. "Don't freak out and screw it up, either."

"I—I won't!" TK objected desperately. Matt shrugged and knocked on Tai's door.

"Coooooooming!" yelled Tai, and then the door was flung open.

"Parents?" Matt asked as a greeting, watching as TK bobbed nervously beside him.

"Nope. Out for a little 'relaxation', they told me. Really. Isn't our apartment relaxing?" he asked dramatically, heaving a large sigh. Matt rolled his eyes and elbowed Tai out of the way. It was then Tai saw TK.

"Oh, hi TK!" he greeted brightly; rubbing the place in his ribs Matt had just stabbed with his elbow. "Kari's…out on the balcony, I think. For some reason." He shrugged, and then spotted the flowers. Matt saw Tai's eyes flicker to Matt for a nanosecond, and then back to TK. Matt blinked. _Why did he look at me? _He wondered.

"Oh, flowers for a lady I see," Tai teased. TK turned pink. Tai still intimidated him, even though TK was almost taller than Tai.

"Tai, no wonder Kari hates you so much," Matt said idly. But at his words both TK and Tai snapped their head around to stare at him. Matt flinched at their gazes. "Whoa, guys," he said. "If looks could kill…" he began, but then stopped. Why did they care so much if he brought Kari up? Good grief.

TK pattered into their kitchen, where a door led out to the balcony. Tai led Matt silently to the living room.

"Tai, what's wrong with you?" Matt asked. "I just said Kari hated you. You say it at least ten times a day." His tone was exasperated. Why was his best friend so _irritating_?

"Yea, well," Tai said, deciding those two words constituted as an answer.

"I'm just teaching her how to dance so she can impress TK," Matt told him tiredly, realizing for the first time how true those words were.

"Have you told TK that?"

Matt snorted. "Are you stupid? Of course I wouldn't tell him! All Kari's hard work would be useless, then."

Tai shrugged, but Matt hated the cold air he was getting from him. It was rare for Tai to be _seriously _suspicious. "So, want to show me that new level?" he asked in a desperate attempt to get Tai to talk to him.

"It's the coolest thing!" Tai suddenly burst, a smile lighting his face. Matt blinked, but collapsed on the sofa all the same as Tai babbled on. Girls weren't the only mysterious things in Matt's life. There was a part of Tai's brain that was rarely seen, but Matt had just witnessed it today. It was the part of his mind that actually thought _seriously _about things. It disturbed Matt. He preferred his friend to be happy rather than angry. Then again, Tai was protective of Kari. He always had been.

As Tai pointed out things on the screen, Matt felt himself glancing periodically into the hall, as if Kari would be walking out from the balcony. He wanted to slap himself, and forced his eyes to look at the TV screen. If things were going the way TK wanted them to, the two were probably making out as he thought.

The image didn't please him. Not a bit.

* * *

A dull knocking at the glass door behind Kari jerked her to her senses. The clouds were floating lazily past the sun, and the sky was a soft blue that afternoon.

She turned around to see TK waving at her from behind the door, a smile on his face. He was holding something behind his back.

Kari blinked. How had TK gotten in? Tai must have opened the door or something. Kari unlatched the door smiling up at TK. "Hi," she greeted, feeling like the biggest jerk. Hadn't she been avoiding him almost all week?

"Hey," he said, and then pulled something out from behind his back. Kari felt dread as flowers poked up at her face.

"Flowers?" she asked, smiling as she took them from TK's hand. He had a knack for making her feel worse. "That's so sweet." She sniffed the flowers. They smelled beautiful.

"No problem," TK said airily. Kari looked up at him from under her eyelashes to see his face was pink. He was looking out at Tokyo, the gentle breeze blowing his hair around. "How come you were out here?"

Kari shrugged. "Just thinking," she replied easily. "It's my favorite place in the apartment. I can escape Tai this way."

TK laughed. "Tai doesn't seem all that bad," he said, resting his hands against the iron railing. Kari hesitated and then walked over to stand beside him, staring at the city below them as she clutched the flowers tightly.

"You're not his little sister," she demurred. TK smiled.

"That's true."

A silence fell on them. Kari was waiting for TK to say something; it was clear he wanted to. But at the same time she felt like he was waiting for something from her. But Kari didn't want to acknowledge she had been avoiding him.

"How did you get in?" she asked suddenly, feeling rude.

He was silent at first. "Matt came, and Tai opened the door for him."

Kari blinked. "Matt's here?" she repeated, just for clarification.

"Yes." TK's voice was short. Kari cringed. He couldn't suspect her…could her? Had he put two and two together?

"He woke up at _noon_," TK said, smirking. "Can you believe that?"  
Kari felt her heartbeat thud against her ribcage. _He was sleeping as late as me! Was he…? No. He hadn't stayed up late thinking about me. Obviously not. Stop it! TK's right in front of me!_

"Thanks for the flowers again," she said lamely, mentally yelling at herself. If she didn't want TK to be angry with her, she shouldn't be feeling things for Matt! Why could she just be happy with TK, and go on pretending Matt wasn't gorgeous or amazing or…

She paled. Kari felt like she was…_cheating _on TK. But she couldn't! She wasn't even dating him!

"Hey, Kari…"

She perked up. "Yea?" she asked. TK was watching her closely, but he still seemed embarrassed about something.

"I was just…wondering…" he scratched the back of his head nervously, looking away. "I wanted to know…are you going to the dance?"

Kari knew what was coming. She could feel it. "I think so," she replied hesitantly. Of course she was going! Hadn't all that practicing been for TK in the first place? So why was she dreading TK's next words so much?

"Oh, well…want to—go with me?" He shot a quick glance at her; his expression was hopeful.

Kari froze. _Yes! _Screamed her mind. _Just say yes! Get it over with!_

But the part of her brain that refused to stop crushing on Matt interjected. She couldn't speak. Nothing came out of her mouth except for a feeble croak. TK's eyes widened and then his face grew bright red.

"I'm sorry," he apologized stiffly, pulling the brim of his familiar white hat over his eyes. "I shouldn't have asked you that."

Kari's eyes almost popped out of her head as TK turned around to leave. _SAY SOMETHING! _But her mouth couldn't function properly. And the other part of her brain thought—even now—it was safer to stay silent than to make some idiotic mistake.

"Tee—Tee—TK!" she finally cried, still holding the flowers tightly in her hand. But he had already slipped into the apartment. Kari chased after him, only to run through the kitchen to see her front door closing.

"TK, just STOP for a second!" she yelled, glad her voice was coming out again. "Could you just _listen_?" She grabbed the handle of the door, grunting to keep it open. TK was on the other side, looking resolutely at the floor. Kari panted, poking her face through the door. "TK, I'm sorry. I couldn't think for a minute—"

"It's fine," TK said shortly. "I get it. I thought something was weird these last few days. You've been avoiding me."

"N…No I haven't," Kari argued weakly.

"Bye Kari," TK said softly, and then started to walk glumly down the hall. Kari could only watch, horror-stricken. What had she just done?

_It's okay, _she thought, closing the door softly in front of her. She rested her forehead against the cool wood. _It's okay. I'll talk to him in school, and I'll get things straightened out. I'll go to the dance with him. I'll make him realize I was just surprised. That's all I was, right? Just surprised. God, TK! I don't want you to hate me!_

"Kari?" Tai's voice jarred through her thoughts like nails on a chalkboard. "Are you…okay?"

Kari blinked her eyes open to see tears falling from her eyes to the floor; her head was still resting against the door. She blinked, pulling away and rubbing at her eyes hastily. "Yes," she replied hoarsely. "I'm fine…" her voice cracked and she held two hands to her mouth to stifle a sob that had almost escaped. Honestly, what was wrong with her? She wanted TK, and then she felt attracted to Matt. And now that TK had finally walked away from her, she felt her heart breaking. Why? Had she always been expecting TK to just wait for her calmly, waiting for her to stop being so flaky?

"Kari, you're not okay." Tai was beside her now, brushing her bangs out of her eyes. "You're crying."

Kari hiccupped. "It's okay," she whispered unconvincingly. "I'm fine." She glanced nervously up at her brother, who was watching her with concerned eyes.

"Was it TK?"

Kari felt her eyes flicker toward a shadow on the wall: Matt! She had completely forgotten he was here! She saw him peeking out from behind the corner, and she felt ashamed. Why was it all such a mess?

"I'll be…okay…" Her words were even quieter now. She could barely hear herself speak.

"Kar—"

She wrapped her arms around Tai's waist, hiccupping into his shoulder. "I'll be all right," she said, her voice muffled by his shirt. "Okay?"

Tai hesitated before wrapping his arms around Kari's shoulders. "Sure," he replied softly. "Of course you'll be all right."

At that moment, Kari loved her brother more than anyone else in the world.

A sudden noise jerked Kari out of her thoughts. She opened one eye to see Matt slipping on his shoes behind Tai. Tai turned around as well, one arm still wrapped around Kari's shoulders. "What're you doing, man?" Tai asked.

Matt didn't look at him. There was fury radiating off of him like heat radiated off of soup. "Leaving," he replied shortly. Kari sniffed, feeling absolutely ridiculous. "Sorry Kari," Matt apologized without looking at her, slipping on his light jacket. Kari froze: a third apology from Matt! Oh God, why was she thinking about something like that now?

"Why?" she croaked out. Matt spared her a glance for a second; Kari saw his eyes were like steel. His brow furrowed when he looked at her, and then glanced down at his shoes that he was tying up. Kari frowned. What had he seen in _her _eyes?

"Because I brought TK here. I realize now I'm an idiot. My brother's a bigger idiot." He opened the door tightly; his grip was so tight on the knob his knuckles were white.

"Matt?" Tai asked worriedly. "Dude, you look seriously angr—"

"I'm going on a little walk," he said, but his tone hinted there was more to his walk than just fresh air and tranquility.

"Matt," Tai warned again. Kari could only stay silent. She didn't want Matt to leave; she wanted Matt to stay and comfort her, but she knew that was impossible.

Matt didn't say anything, only left the apartment. The door clicked quietly shut, surprising both brother and sister. "What's…he going to do?" Kari whispered. "He looked really angry."

Tai made a noise of distaste. "With good reason. TK's a loser."

Kari felt tears welling up in her eyes. "No, Tai, that's not—"

"I can try to cook you something," Tai insisted, steering her in the direction of the kitchen. "Soup?"

Kari blinked. "Okay," she said, taken by surprise. Tai was trying to distract her. But even then, Kari couldn't help but think…_what was Matt going to do? _

* * *

"TK!" Matt yelled as soon as he left the apartment complex. The tall boy had started to blend in with the crowd, but at Matt's roaring voice he twitched into a stop. Matt caught up to him, grabbing at his arm to turn him around. _Stay cool, _he told himself. _**Please **stay cool._

"What?" TK asked moodily, keeping his eyes to the ground. The crowd of people in business suits and thrown together outfits alike split around the two brothers and continued their walks, as if they were statues.

"Just what are you playing at?" Matt asked in a quiet whisper; he heard his own voice come out tense and forced himself to breathe. TK would jump to conclusions—completely wrong conclusions, at that—if he kept this up.

TK shrugged his arm out of Matt's grip, still looking at the sidewalk beneath them. "What are you talking about?" he asked tiredly.

"What am I—" Matt's voice was incredulous. "TK, are you—didn't you—Kari was crying!" Matt finally decided upon. He knew he had picked the right words (or maybe they were the wrong ones…). What little of TK's face Matt could see beneath the hat frowned. "What did you even _do _to her? I told you I'd help you out, to go buy some flowers! What'd you do, throw them at her face or something?" Matt couldn't help the scorning tone that was escaping with his words now. Honestly, how was his brother so _dense_? It wasn't that difficult to woo a woman; give them chocolate and maybe a kiss or something and they'd be fine! Obviously TK had some problems, though.

"I didn't…throw the flowers in her face," TK hissed back in a low voice. "I tried, Matt!"

"But?" Matt prodded, frowning.

"But she didn't—"

"TK, it wasn't something _she _did! She was the one crying after you stormed out of the apartment!" Matt finally spat. "Are you clueless?"

"She wasn't the only one crying!" TK finally yelled, glaring up at Matt. A few passers-by glanced their way, but sticking to the code they turned around and pretended they hadn't seen a thing. Matt, on the other hand, was staring into his brother's eyes, which—he had to admit—were much shinier than they normally were.

"Oh TK," he groaned. "Don't tell me you're _crying_?"

"Well what did you expect?" TK asked quietly, still glaring up at Matt. "I go there, I _give _her the lame flowers, she doesn't say anything, so I ask her to the dance, and you know what she does? Nothing! Yea! She just stood there, gaping at me like I had just asked her to—to _marry _me or something ridiculous like that!"

Matt stared at his brother now, surprised. "What? Really?" He frowned. "I swore you had done something. She was bawling her eyes out like the world had just ended."

TK shook his head. "That's impossible."

"No, it's not," Matt said stiffly. He couldn't forget how heart-broken she had looked. How could she have looked that way if TK had done nothing? "So you didn't say anything stupid?" Matt asked, feeling his blood pressure slowly lowering.

"_No_," TK emphasised. "Can you just leave me alone, now? I don't need any lecturing. I know exactly what happened." He turned away from the silent Matt and disappeared into the crowd.

Matt blinked. "Well _I _don't know what happened," he muttered. "I don't know what happened _at all_."

* * *

"So? How is it?" Tai asked gleefully, sitting across from Kari. She looked up at him from under her eyelashes, sipping the soup. "Well? Well?" Tai prodded.

"…It tastes really bad," Kari said truthfully, making a face. Tai's smile dropped.

"Aww, really?"

Kari hesitated. "No, I'm kidding. It tastes really good." She took another spoonful for effect, nearly choking. She kept her eyes down; even lying about _soup _made her feel guilty.

"Are you feeling better?" Tai asked. Kari resisted the urge to roll her eyes; even now her brother couldn't help but bug her.

"I'm fine," she lied again, keeping her eyes on the hard noodles that floated in the bowl beneath her.

"What did TK do, anyway?"

Kari frowned. She could feel the tears prickling at the back of her eyes. _Nothing! TK did absolutely nothing!_

"He brought me flowers," she said quietly. Tai coughed.

"You…don't like flowers?"

"No. I do." Kari shook her head. "That's the whole thing. He didn't do anything. Nothing! I just freaked out, and then I…I…" She didn't need to say the rest. She broke down.

"Oh, don't blame it all on TK." Tai leaned closer to Kari. "It was a—safe relationship, right?" Tai asked worriedly. Kari blinked fast, glaring up at Tai who was watching her intensely. "He wasn't…abusive, right?" He patted her hand thoughtfully.

"EUGH, TAI!" Kari shouted, standing up. "We weren't even _in _a relationship! And he's not _abusive_! TK's sweet! And nice! And—And—he's…perfect," she added heavily, sighing. "I'm going to my room. DON'T bug me!" she shouted, and then stormed off to her room. After slamming her door quite nicely, Kari flopped down on her bed, hugging her pillow close to her body. She curled up in a ball, trying to think. Tomorrow at school she would just find TK and apologize. After all, she should have said _something_, particularly a "yes, I'd love to go to the dance with you!" Of course her mind had objected. _Of course. _As if TK hadn't been wary of her before. And now who knew what Matt had gone to do? Go kill TK?

"Why would he even bother?" she muttered into her pillow. "I'm just a little girl who's in love with his little brother. That's all I am." She paused. "And an excuse for him to brush up on his waltzing for Perfect Girl," she hissed, feeling tears leaking out of her eyes. Couldn't her eyes stay dry for even _five _seconds? Why was she such a crybaby about everything?

Kari stiffened as she heard Tai's feet pad softly past her door. As soon as she heard the click of him entering his own bedroom, she heaved a light sigh of relief. She didn't need her brother's love right now; it was too annoying. Right now she just needed to lay and remember. Remember why she had loved TK. Remember when she had started to drift from him. Remember when Matt had entered her life, just like that, and refused to leave anymore.

She remembered, and tried to fall back into love with TK. She wanted to have those imaginings of him again. She wanted to hold his hand and walk through the halls with him. But something in her refused, and so she was left alone, even in her dreams.


	7. Lesson 7: Try Not to Play Cupid

**_Beating Hearts _**

_Chapter 7_

* * *

**How reluctantly the mind consents to reality. – Norman Douglas**

* * *

"Have you seen TK?" Kari asked Davis the next morning. Anyone could see she was trying desperately to cover up the worry in her voice; her brow was furrowed dangerously and her frown looked as if it was permanently plastered onto her face.

"Uh—nope," Davis said, telling the truth for once. He quirked an eyebrow at Kari while the oncoming flood of students passed them by to get to their next classes. "Why?"

"I just—I need to talk to him," Kari replied, flustered. "He wasn't at lunch, and so now I just don't know…" She nibbled at her bottom lip, and even Davis could see something was seriously wrong.

"Look, I'll keep my eye out, 'kay?" he said cheerfully, patting Kari's head affectionately.

Kari managed a smile, standing a little straighter. "Thanks, Davis," she said, meaning it.

Davis leaned closer, grinning. "Do I get a hug for that?"

Kari rolled her eyes, shoving a hand into his shoulder to send him stumbling back a step. "_No, _Davis, you don't," she refused for what felt like the thousandth time. Davis recovered quickly though. He smiled at her again (Kari swore he winked at her. _Honestly)_, and then waltzed down the hall humming.

Kari had spent all morning hunting for TK, and when she was in her classes she had worried about hunting for TK. But he had changed from showing up all of the time to being as elusive as a butterfly. Why did he always do things at the _wrong _time?

"He's avoiding you?"

Kari jumped and whirled around. Matt was standing behind her, one arm lazily holding a textbook. For once he didn't have his sleeves rolled up and his tie loosened; he appeared as a normal student, which was such a surprise to Kari she couldn't answer right away.

"Uh—erm—urgh." And then she blushed. "Um, yes. I think so," she mumbled out. "I've been trying to find him all day…" She let her words drift out, suddenly feeling terribly self-conscious. Matt had seen her blubbering like a baby yesterday. How could he act so calm and collected? Unlike Kari, who could almost see herself quivering in front of him like a mass of jell-o.

"I guess he hasn't recovered from yesterday." Matt was looking out at the dispersing sea of students, but at his words his eyes flickered toward Kari. She frowned up at him.

"It's not all my fault," she told him stubbornly. Of course Matt would side with his brother! Those two loved each other more than any other siblings Kari had ever met; more than Tai and herself, which was for sure. Great. Was he going to lecture her now? Hate her? _Despise _her?

A ghost of a smile flickered past Matt's lips. "I know," he replied, leaning easily against the lockers. Kari hesitated before shuffling over to lean on the lockers near him, facing the hall. "He's a little… sensitive."

Kari sighed heavily, scuffing her shoe against the hallway floor. "I feel horrible," she admitted. "I need to find him to patch things up. I—" she stopped. Did Matt know TK had been planning to ask her to the dance? She decided to avoid it for now. "I want him to understand that I just… I froze. I don't know how else to say it! It was mortifying, and… I feel like the most rotten person in the world." There. She had said it. Let Matt's giant speech rush forth! She was prepared; she had said what she felt.

"You shouldn't," Matt retorted lightly, turning his face to look down at her. She blinked up at him.

"Huh?"

"You shouldn't feel horrible," Matt repeated. "TK's stupid, I gotta admit. He doesn't really understand what's going on around him; he's always jumping to conclusions." Matt shook his head sadly. "So… don't feel too bad." He gave her a brief smile before clapping her on the shoulder and walking past her. Kari was frozen stiff. What had just happened? A nice, normal conversation with Matt? No crying? No heart-shattering emotions? It was a first! Kari felt her heart beat quicken. Yes, they had discussed TK but… that was obvious. They were both connected to him.

"Matt!" she called out, whirling around before she could stop. The older boy paused, and then turned around. He wasn't that far yet.

"What?" he asked.

"If you see TK, tell him—tell him I want to talk to him!"

Matt hesitated before nodding. "Definitely," he agreed, before spinning on his heel and walking smoothly down the hall. Kari watched him appreciatively before mentally slapping herself back to reality.

* * *

Matt knew where TK was without even thinking about it. Deciding that his next class wasn't that important anyway, he skipped out of school before anyone noticed. His whole walk to their mother's apartment, Matt's expression was a grimace.

He didn't even know what to think. He couldn't get two thoughts strung together before more came barging in and shoved them out of the way. All he could really focus on was that TK was stupid, and that he was hurting Kari.

Kari was just one of those people you weren't mean to, someone who looked like they would break if you were. And even if TK's heart had shattered or whatever had happened on that balcony, that didn't mean he could sulk at home.

Their mother's apartment was only a fifteen-minute walk from the high school. Before he knew what was happening, Matt had buzzed up to the room. No one answered the first time, so he buzzed again. Damn, why did he always leave his key at his dad's place?

"What?" TK's voice came crackling out of the intercom; the apartment complex was a posh place, filled with marble floors and ceiling with crystal chandeliers dangling from the high-vaulted ceilings. But their speakers could definitely use some work.

"It's Matt," he spoke back, trying his best to stay calm. Wait to lecture him once he got up. "Let me up."

Silence. "You should be at school."

"So should you. Let me up," he repeated more forcefully. Matt waited, and then a beep signified he could open the door. He did so, taking the elevator so he reached room 209 all the faster.

The door was unlocked, so Matt happily barged in. He found TK lying on the sofa in the living room, shielding his eyes with his arm even though no lights were on.

"God TK, did you become a vampire overnight?" Matt scolded, flicking on an overhead light switch. TK cringed.

"Did you come to yell at me some more?" TK asked sulkily.

"Yes," Matt agreed stubbornly, shoving TK's feet off the sofa so he could sit at the end. TK's answer was an exasperated sigh.

"Why aren't you at school?" Matt prodded, unrelenting. Let his brother be mad at him; Matt wanted to know what the hell was going on.

"Don't feel good." TK was still hiding his eyes with his arm, the sleeve muffling his voice. Matt tried desperately to hold onto his last thread of patience.

"Not because of Kari?"

"No."

"Really." Matt's voice was disbelieving. "Prove it."

TK shifted in his position. "What?"

"Go back to school now. Prove that it's not because of her."

Silence. Matt stared his brother down, and he knew that even though TK couldn't see him he could feel his eyes drilling into him. "Fine. It's because of her. Happy?" TK was embarrassed; his whole face was turning pink.

"She's been looking for you all day," Matt persisted. "Asking anyone she can if they've seen you. She's going mental, I can see it." Matt took a breath, trying to think of what else to say. "Just go to school and listen to what she has to say," he added more gently. "Whatever she told you yesterday, it can't be worse than that… right?"

"Maybe," TK said, but he had finally removed his arm from his eyes, blinking over at Matt. "Why d'you care so much?" he finally asked. It was the question Matt had been dreading; he bristled at it.

"I don't like you moping," he said, frowning at him. "And I don't like to see innocent girls go crazy over their missing boyfriends."

TK's cheeks grew pink. "Shut up," he mumbled half-heartedly. Matt chuckled at him, pinching his cheek.

"Little Teeks, all grown up," he cooed. TK swatted his hand away, but a small smile was creeping up onto his face. He stood up suddenly, stretching. "So you'll go back and try to figure out what's going on?"  
TK stood up too, shaking his arms to get feeling back into them. "Sure," he responded vaguely.

"She doesn't deserve to be frozen out, TK," Matt snapped quietly. "Not over something so stupid as silence." TK glanced up at him in surprise. "Yes, I figured it out. She didn't even have a chance to reply to your request, TK. Cut her some slack, already." Damn. Things had been going so well before he had lost his cool like that. "So—go see what she has to say already," Matt told him hurriedly. "Shoo, shoo!" He pushed his brother toward the door.

"Wait! Aren't you coming back to school?" he asked.

Matt shook his head. "I'm going to cook you up a celebratory feast!"

"Wha—why?" TK asked, as he stumbled toward the front door and hastily slid his shoes on. Matt urged him on, tossing him his bag; TK almost fell trying to do so many things at once.

"You'll see," Matt said, grinning as he shoved TK out the door. He locked it securely behind his brother, breathing a heavy sigh of relief as his hand still rested on the doorknob.

Since when had he become Cupid? Never. So why was he doing this? _Why?_ Not to make himself feel better, that was for sure. Matt felt absolutely horrible inside, for some unfathomable reason. Maybe because he knew that if anything good happened between TK and Kari, it would be Matt's responsibility. _His. _

Sighing through gritted teeth, Matt tromped back toward the living room to collapse on the sofa, but not before flicking the light off. He dug his face into a pillow, deciding TK's feast could wait a few minutes. Why not wallow a little first?

* * *

Kari couldn't explain the relief that exploded in her when she saw TK striding purposefully through the halls of the school. She hesitated a moment before going toward him, clutching her textbooks instinctively in front of her; almost like a shield.

"Hi, um, TK—"

"Can we talk?" TK interrupted abruptly. Kari cringed, but when she looked up at his face he didn't seem _too _angry.

"Yea," she agreed slowly but warmly. "That's actually what I've been trying to do toda—" For the second time in less than a minute Kari was cut off by TK when he took hold of her hand. Kari blinked in surprise, feeling completely out of control as TK did a very un-TK thing and drug her down the hall, turning a corner until they were standing near a set of lockers in a hall that was less busy than the last.

"TK?" Kari asked warily, looking up at his face, hidden by his hair. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I mean, I'm sorry." He heaved a heavy sigh, still staring at the floor. "I kind of ran out really fast, and I should've—well—I guess I should have listened more." His face was red, Kari could see that much. "So, I'm sorry. Again."

Her stomach was slowly beginning to unknot. Okay. Okay, she had a chance to make things right between them again. "TK, if you'd still like, I'll—I'll go to the dance with you." There. Now, if he didn't hate her things would be okay. They _had _to be.

"Really?" he asked, almost brightly. "Well, that's good. Great. Are you sure?" He looked down at her, anxiously now, and made a move like he was going to hold her hand or something. But he stopped, and only hovered nervously above her.

Kari nodded viciously. "Yes! I'd be happy to go!" She hugged him tightly around the middle. "I'm sorry I didn't answer before," she mumbled into his sweater. "Sorry."

It took a moment for TK's arms to wrap around Kari, but it all felt too awkward. Too strange. "It's okay," he said nicely, and then they pulled apart, smiling but not really smiling. Then they turned on their heels, waved good-bye, and went their separate directions.

Kari was relieved, yes. But she wasn't happy.

* * *

Matt hadn't meant to do it. He had been walking down the sidewalk, one plastic bag of groceries gripped in each hand, a note with ingredients scribbled on it tucked in his pocket. He was in a better mood, with a decent dinner to cook to look forward to. He hadn't really _forgotten _about school, but he hadn't exactly remembered that students would be walking home at the moment, either. So when he saw Kari's head bobbing ahead of him in the crowd, he wondered if his mind was making things up. But seconds later he realized he was on her route, and found himself jogging to catch up to her.

When he did, he shoved a bag in her face. "Hey," he greeted, as she took the bag from his hand and held it in both of hers.

"Hi," she said back, smiling lightly. "Why are you shopping instead of studying?" She raised her eyebrows as if she was serious, but even Matt could tell she was joking.

"I went home to talk to TK," he said. Kari glanced at him out of the corner of her. Mat didn't miss it. "I didn't really yell at him," he said, wondering if he should have just kept his mouth shut. Kari suddenly didn't look happy. "What?" he asked, annoyed.

"So TK didn't come to talk to me on his own?" she asked, still staring at the street ahead of them. "He only did it because you—_encouraged _him or something?"

Matt was silent for a moment. "Well, I don't know if encourage is the right word," he mused seriously. "I think I just showed him how much of an idiot he was being."

"That doesn't help," Kari replied sourly, and Matt was surprised at how acidic her tone was.

"Well, sorry," he decided to reply testily, but anyone could hear he didn't mean it. "I was just trying to help."

"Yea, well," Kari replied, and then fell silent. Matt remembered Tai saying the exact same thing to him only the other day, and realized in that moment Kari and Tai were more alike than they would admit.

They walked on in silence, and Matt realized his turn to his apartment wasn't for another five or six blocks. Just great.

"You shouldn't have gone to yell at him," Kari said suddenly, firmly. Matt didn't look over at her.

"I didn't _yell,_" he replied, dangerously soft. The unknown anger he had felt days before had started to seep back into his blood. He could almost _feel _it. "I just told him he was being an idiot. Why does it matter so much?" asked Matt suddenly, hoping to pin the fault on her.

It worked. She was taken by surprise and stuttered for a few seconds before managing a, "because I don't think it's right for you to go yell at him about something between the two of _us._"

The logic was right. It made perfect sense. Matt saw it and understood it, but it still made him mad that she had thought of it. _He _hadn't. Why hadn't he? "Well, okay. I won't do it again," he told her tightly. "I'll let you two deal with it. Happy?"

"Yes," answered Kari, but she didn't sound it… _or _look it.

"All right, then."

"All right."

Silence.

"So did he ask you to the dance?" Nice one, Matt. Nice one.

"I thought you said you weren't going to butt in anymore."

"It's just a friendly question!" Matt replied hurriedly. "A friend asking a friend. Come on."

Kari nibbled her bottom lip nervously before replying. "Yes." They stopped at a crosswalk, patiently waiting for it to change to green. "We're going together."

"Excellent," Matt told her, but the words felt hollow to him. "How long is it until the dance? A week?" The light changed and they made their way swiftly across the street, both of them anxious to get home.

"Um… six days, I think."

"Oh wow. I suppose my band should practice."

Kari giggled. "I suppose." She suddenly hefted the bag of groceries higher. "So you skipped school to go buy groceries? How very mature of you," teased Kari lightly. Matt let a small smile flit across his features. He was glad Kari had relaxed around him again. He didn't know if she would scold him or not for skipping. Not that he cared.

"I felt like making dinner, and it takes a while to pick the best ingredients," he told her seriously. There was no need to explain that he just wasn't up to facing TK and Kari in the halls that afternoon… Heaven knew why.

"Hey, are you coming by anytime soon?" she asked. Matt blinked. Kari was clearly leading this conversation, but it was something Matt wasn't used to. Wasn't she normally… quiet? Subdued?

"Uh, I don't know," Matt replied, taken aback. "That is, probably. Why?"

Kari was silent again, and she was staring at the sidewalk as they manoeuvred their way through the crowds. "Well, I sort of still… need lessons. Does TK know how to waltz?" she asked suddenly.

"I don't know," Matt told her honestly, but at the crestfallen look on her face he quickly covered up with a, "well, probably. Mom probably taught him, don't worry Kari. Okay? Don't worry." She looked so near crying that he had almost begun to freak out.

"Right. Of course. It'll be fine." She nodded stoutly, believing this fact. She looked back up at him. "But I still need more lessons, you know. I feel ridiculous practicing in my room alone." A light blush stained her cheeks as she spoke, and Matt couldn't help but let out a quiet chuckle.

"I'll surprise you," he teased about showing up at her apartment. Here was his turn. Quickly grabbing the bag from Kari's hand, he waved a finger to her. "See you around, Kari."

"Right," he heard her reply from behind him. "See you around."


	8. Lesson 8: Matt is Easily Tempted

_**Beating Hearts**_

* * *

_Chapter 8_

* * *

**Mankind are governed more by their feelings than by reason. – Samuel Adams**

* * *

TK had wanted to do something today. Kari had been just about to agree—after all, she didn't want things to be completely awkward between them at the dance—but then remembered Matt's words of the day before.

_"I'll surprise you."_

She had no idea if he would show up today. Monday. What if he did, and she missed it? Kari sorely needed those lessons. If she was going to be the only girl waltzing at that dance, than she was going to _act _like she knew how to waltz. She was completely unprepared and not confident in her ability, no matter how many times Matt assured her she was doing fine. She didn't want to be just fine. She wanted to be _great. _Inspiring.

So Kari had refused. She could see the resignation in TK's eyes, almost as if he had expected him. She had told him, over and over, that that wasn't the case and she _did _want to spend time with him, but she was planning a surprise for him. It was the truth, but not exactly. Either way, that had seemed to smooth things over quite well.

Now she was lying in her bed, staring at the ceiling, and squeezing a pillow to her chest. This was absolute turmoil. Horror. Discomfort. Whenever she was with TK, she felt guilty. Whenever she was with Matt, she felt a thrill, but also… she knew it was impossible. Matt didn't know it, but his presence almost belittled Kari. She felt worthless beside him. She knew it wasn't his fault, but her own obsessive paranoia.

School had ended. She should be working on her homework. She should be making dinner for when her parents got home from work. She should at least be bothering Tai to clean up the mess he'd made in the living room. But she just wasn't up to it. All she could think about was trying to remember the waltz steps.

What if Matt didn't show up at all? What if he had been annoyed with her yesterday? She had gotten aggravated with him, and she hadn't meant to. The truth was, she had been hurt. Kari should have been expecting it. After all, Matt would put TK before anyone else, and he only wanted his brother to be happy. But Kari had been hoping… _hoping, _that he didn't want them to go together, and that he would sweep her off of her feet at the dance after his band played their set. But it was clear from yesterday's conversation that Matt _wanted _her to go with TK.

Fine. She could do that. She _was _doing that. Not because of Matt. Not because of the guilt with TK. But because she wanted to. Kari had set out to go to this dance with TK, and now she was! She should have been overjoyed and giddy, not determined and unhappy. Why was it that going with TK felt as if she was winning by proving everybody wrong? Nobody even _knew _about her strange little crush.

There was a knock on the door. Kari blinked, feeling her heartbeat speed up. Was it Matt? Could it be? She lurched out of bed and rushed to the door, clicking it open so quickly her hand slipped off of the handle. She took a moment to breathe, to compose herself. Brushing her fingers through her short hair haphazardly, Kari opened the door gently and gracefully.

Only to have it whipped out of her grasp by Tai, who had been standing on the other side. "Geez, Kari! Way to take a hundred years to answer the damn door!" Tai yelled, racing past her toward his room. Kari took a shocked step back. He had been wearing his soccer uniform… she forgot he had a soccer game that afternoon.

"Tai!" she yelled. "Quit bothering me! You could've gotten in yourself!" Stupid brother.

"Yea, well, too much work!" She heard him yell from his bedroom. It sounded like he was flinging buildings around in there. Seconds later, he dashed back out with shin pads in his hand.

"Bye Kari!" he called, running past her. Kari blinked in surprise.

"T—TAI! CLEAN YOUR MESS UP WHEN YOU GET HOME!" She slammed the door shut behind him. There. At least she had done _one _thing on her "Should Be Doing" list.

Grumbling to herself, Kari walked toward the kitchen, her feet dragging on the floor. She still clutched the pillow in her arms as she stood in front of the refrigerator, trying to decide what to do. Cook for her parents, or pig out on food because she was that pathetic? Was she going to be like this all week?

Finally she decided on having a bottle of water, because water was safe and healthy. It also didn't take any work to make it. Setting the pillow on the floor, she popped one out of the refrigerator door and snapped open the plastic lid, taking a dainty sip.

Kari wasn't even thirsty. She was just _bored. _

Walking over to the balcony doors, Kari saw through the glass that it was grey and raining outside. It had been all day. Being so bored though, she decided standing in the rain might be fun. Then she would see if she got sick and _prove _that she was healthy now.

Sliding open the door, Kari stepped hastily onto the cement balcony. In her bare feet she felt the water on the cement and shivered from the cold, but it was an excited shiver. Taking another step out, she was out of the shelter of the balcony above her. She leaned her stomach against the railing, her hands gripping tightly to the bar. She felt the rain pelting down on her, and it stung but it was also somehow pleasing to watch the water soak through her clothes and collect on her skin. She felt her hair plaster itself to her head, and she winced as raindrops shot into her eyes. But she lifted her face anyway to stare up the sky. Dark, cloudy, and ominous. Why were storms so misleading? Rain felt so wonderful, so relaxing and freeing. So why did it have to be followed by a heavy atmosphere?

She stood there for several more moments, and felt the curious urge to laugh. To dance. These were urges she had when she was eight, not fifteen. Being a Digi-destined had changed her so much. Already being mature for her age because of her illness, Kari had evolved much more over that time period. Was that why she never danced anymore? Never sang? Never really enjoyed herself when she was dancing with Matt? Maybe she was looking at everything the wrong way… the _adult _way. Maybe she was trying to fix things with TK because she thought it was the _adult _thing to do, not the right thing. Maybe…

Her thoughts were abruptly cut off by a distant noise in the apartment. She froze, thinking there were a burglar, a murderer, and oh dear God she was going to die on a balcony in the rain when she was _fifteen! _She crouched in the corner, could almost feel the tears threatening to start pouring from her eyes…

"Kari?" asked a familiar voice from inside. Frozen solid, hidden by one of their potted plants on the balcony, she couldn't reply. Was that… No. She was dreaming. Imagining.

"Ka… ri?" A head poked out of the door from inside the house. Kari was so shocked that the stiffness of her body immediately jumped. Bellowing out a shriek of surprise, Kari leapt to her feet, her body screaming to run, but run _where?_

"Dammit, Kari! What is _wrong _with you?" It was a boy. Blonde hair. Blue eyes. Grouchy voice. Familiar uniform…

Kari let out a gasp of air, one hand clutching the railing for support, the other placed over the spot on her chest where her heart was beating wildly. "Oh my God… Matt," she whispered, bowing her head with relief. Just Matt. She had been horrified. Her imagination needed to stop running wild whenever she was home alone.

Kari wasn't able to differentiate between the tears and the rain on her face now. She was sure she had been crying, huddled behind that plant. "Hey, what are you doing out here? You'll get sick." His tone was stern now… almost parental. It had been sharp and angry seconds ago.

"I won't get sick," she muttered, sliding past him into the house. Matt stepped in behind her, shutting the door. The noise from outside immediately softened into muffled patters. Kari stood in the kitchen, drenched with water pooling at her bare feet.

"I'll get you a towel," Matt informed her, disappearing down the hall and a few moments later came back with a thick green one. He tossed it at her head and Kari caught it, fumbling. Rubbing vigorously at her face, Kari began to feel the embarrassment settle in. She must look horrible!

"Why are you even in here?" she asked, now bending over to dry her hair with the towel. Rain droplets scattered onto the floor as she massaged the towel in.

Matt was silent for a second. "For lessons?" he reminded her, and Kari heard the sarcastic lilt in his words.

"I meant _how,_" she clarified, still drying her hair.

"I saw Tai outside, and I asked if I could have the key." Matt shrugged, but Kari couldn't see. She was staring at the floor, but then she stood up straight, her hair flyaway and sticking up everywhere. Beginning to rub at her arms, Kari didn't even realize Matt was smirking at the mess of her hair. She was completely oblivious until Matt stepped over and began to flatten her hair with his fingers.

"Don't even own a comb?" he asked jokingly.

Kari couldn't breathe. She tried to reply, but Matt was running his fingers through her hair—_her _hair!—in a sad attempt to comb it. Her heart began to slam against her ribcage, and she instinctively clutched a hand to her chest, letting out a gasp of air in surprise at the feeling Matt's fingers were sending down her body. Shivers, painful but also nice and God, she wanted to _kiss him right now, _but where did that come from? That was horrible! She wanted him to keep running his hands through her hair, bring her closer, passionate kiss, lust, rolling on the floor, whispers, lips, teasing, biting—

"OH MY _GOD!_" Kari screamed, ripping away from Matt's hands, clutching the damp towel to her chest. Her face was flaming; she could feel it. Matt stared at her, wide-eyed. For once, the shock on his face wasn't hidden… and he didn't try to cover it.

"What? Did I do something?" asked Matt, sounding genuinely concerned. If it was possible, Kari's face grew several shades of red darker.

"Y—No! Me! I did something! Uh, wet clothes. Cold. IgottachangeI'llberightback!" Kari dashed down the hall before Matt could say another word, slamming the door of her bedroom behind her.

For minutes that felt like hours, Kari stood behind her door, one hand still holding onto the doorknob. She was trembling, from fright or cold or excitement she didn't know which. But it was all horrible, all one big mess, but she couldn't stop thinking about Matt's _fingers in her hair! _

At a speed she didn't think imaginable, Kari changed out of her wet clothes to dry ones, running a brush through her short hair, still damp and beginning to grow wavy from drying naturally. Kari didn't bother with it though, and with one last smoothing of her pants, Kari stepped out of her room and walked as casually as possibly down the hall. If Matt had known what she was thinking about—

"That was… different," he spoke from the dining room table. Kari came to a halt at the door to the dining room, taken by surprise. She glanced over to see him sitting at the table, one elbow balancing lazily on the glass top; the other arm was resting on his thigh. His cheek was resting in the palm of his hand, and he quirked an eyebrow at her. "You look scared," he mused.

"I'm not scared!" Kari snapped back, unintentionally. "Uh, sorry. I'm just… I thought you were a killer or something," she said, laughing nervously and reverting back to the original problem. "I think I just got carried away…"

Matt gave a small sigh, rubbing a hand over his face, as if trying to erase some sort of expression he had, but Kari could see his face was as flat as ever. "Sorry," she apologized again, meekly. And she had thought she was too _adult _earlier that day? She was acting like a giddy child right now!

"No problem," Matt said, tossing her the bottle of water she had left on the floor by the balcony earlier. She fumbled with it, but managed to keep it in her grasp.

"Oh, thanks." Silence. "So, are you here for lessons?" She scuffed a bare foot on the wooden floor. It squeaked. "Since you came alo—well, since Tai's not here." Saying _he came here alone _would put thoughts or innuendo in Kari's head she didn't need… or want.

"That's right," Matt replied. He stood up, stretching out his left arm. He began to walk toward her, out the door. Kari found she couldn't move, even when Matt came brushing past her. She froze at the touch of his hand against her arm.

"Oh," he murmured, stopping right in front of Kari. She had to struggle to hide the terror from her face. He had to tell her something here? _Now? _When they were both caught in the doorway and inches apart from each other? If only he knew what she was thinking, he would realize she wasn't some innocent little girl. Oh God.

"W—What?" she squeaked out. Matt gave her a slanted look from the corner of his eye.

"I told you I'd surprise you, and judging by the shriek on the balcony I think I did my job." He lifted a hand, as if to ruffle her hair, but stopped; maybe he was remembering Kari's mortifying reaction to his earlier touch. He let the hand drop, and Kari watched it rest at his side.

"Yea, I suppose you won," she replied weakly, working to get her body under control. No matter what, she _had _to do well in the lesson. She _had _to get this waltzing thing down.

Matt didn't say anything, but walked out of the doorway and down the hall to their practicing room. Kari let out a huge sigh of relief.

* * *

This was maybe the strangest encounter with Kari Matt had ever had… excluding the random cry she had had in the halls that one day. But other than that, this was it.

He knew it was probably scary to a fifteen-year-old girl (or however old she was) that someone could just waltz into her apartment without buzzing up. But it had been coincidence he'd seen Tai zooming past, only stopping to pant out a reply that yes, Kari was home, but she was hiding in her room so here was the key! And he was off.

Matt had not been expecting her to be standing out on the balcony in the middle of a storm.

She probably thought he hadn't seen her. He hadn't made himself known until she'd jumped, and without looking back through the doors bolted behind a plant that was to the left of the porch doors. But he _had _seen her. Something about coming across Kari standing in a storm, soaked to the bone but still smiling up at the sky, had unnerved him. It wasn't as if he'd been scared or weirded out, but rather that he'd felt something strange inside of him.

He knew what that feeling was well enough that he didn't want to even _acknowledge _that it had flitted through his body, even for a second. No. Not Kari. Not little, sweet, Kari. Not Tai's sister. No way.

And even though he forced those feelings to the very corner of his heart, and he'd acted perfectly normal on the balcony when she'd shrieked and acted the part of a perfect frightened girl, something had happened once he'd tossed her the towel. Something had happened when she'd flipped her hair back over and all that was left was a horrible mess, knots and giant puffs of wet strands. It was short, but it was thick. He had felt the uncommon urge, the _horrible _urge to touch her hair. Matt had never been one to go against his urges. He wanted to play guitar; he played. He wanted to flirt with groupies; he flirted. He wanted to save the Earth; he'd saved it. So it had seemed almost normal to reach out and try to flatten her hair, to try and comb out the tangles with his fingers. In its dampness, the smell of fruit from her shampoo had been easier to notice. He had been so distracted that he hadn't noticed the sickened expression on her face until just before she'd screamed at him.

Maybe that was why he was acting strangely.

So maybe it was an unconscious thing, but both of them were on edge. He tried to act cool, and he thought he was doing a good job of it. Kari, on the other hand, didn't seem to be just trying. She _looked _calm. She was concentrating, trying to go with the flow of the crackling record as Matt spun her around the room, sometimes switching to partner to allow her to lead, just so she could try it. He noticed she was getting better, and maybe all of that practicing she'd mentioned the day before was actually getting her somewhere.

"Good job," he whispered softly, his eyes on the wall behind her hair, which he now noticed was waving gently beneath his eyes. Oh God, he wanted to touch her hair again, but he didn't want Kari to scream. He didn't want to ruin this sort-of friendship they'd created over the past week. He didn't, he couldn't, he _wouldn't…_

"Matt? You okay?" Kari asked suddenly. Matt blinked, looking down at her. They had stopped moving, and Kari was giving him a concerned look, with a crinkle in her brow. He still had his hand around her waist, and the other clutching her hand—

Wait. Clutching?

"Oh, sorry," he apologized, hastily letting go of her hand. It was like a pressure was released on his hand, and he could see her own hand had gone white with his grip. He had been trying to control himself so much that he'd begun to hold her tighter. Even the hand around her waist was tight. Protective. He dropped that too, as if she was on fire. "God, sorry," he apologized again, mortified at his actions. Kari was silent, flexing her small hand Matt had been squeezing.

He ran a hand over his face, and this seemed to catch Kari's eye. "You look tired," she observed. "We can stop for a while if you want."

Matt hesitated before nodding in agreement, taking the chair to sit on. Kari walked to the other side and grabbed her bottle of water from the floor near the door. He watched idly as she took several drinks from it. The pink in her cheeks proved she had been working hard.

"I never knew your hair was wavy." Oh great. Just great. What the hell was wrong with him!?

"Oh." Kari made a face, tugging a strand of hair. "I don't like it very much, but I didn't want to make you wait if I decided to blow dry it." She shrugged, twisting the lid back on the water bottle and resting it on the floor.

Matt almost said, "I'm glad you left it," but had enough sense not to listen to _that _urge. "Want to try a few more steps? You nearly have it," he encouraged her. Kari gave him a shy smile; it was soft and fleeting and beautiful. He froze in his tracks. This was something new. This was a horrible surprise. Matt had most often seen Kari stutter or stay silent. This was… different. Nice, though. But different.

"Hello? Are you awake?" A soft, teasing voice seemed to be echoing in his head. With a blink, Matt saw it was Kari standing in front of him, a tilt to her smile. "You're sure you're all right?" she questioned again.

Dammit. _Dammit. _This had never happened before! He felt the strange prickling on the back of his neck that came with his rare moments of embarrassment. "Yes, I'm fine," he told her irritably. Kari noticed his tone, and he saw her stiffen. Matt always forgot Kari was very empathetic. He rushed on, grabbing her hands to position them properly.

"Okay, so, it's just about two minutes in when you stumble, when the beat changes—"

"Matt."

"But it's all right, my mom laughed at me all the time when I was younger there, so—"

"Matt."

"Back one step, and—Kari, you sort of have to move your feet—"

"_Matt._"

He sighed, silencing himself. Why had he been babbling? It wasn't like he was deaf. He had heard Kari talking, and he'd noticed her refusal to move an inch when he was trying to instruct her. But he just wanted these lessons to go on, so they could be _done, _and Matt could escape and stop thinking about Kari and her damn hair. "What?" he asked warily.

"You're acting a lot like… me." She let out a quiet giggle. Oh God. Matt took a small step back from her; Kari noticed. "Oh, are you sick of dancing?" she asked. "If it's tiring you out, or something, we can stop…" Her sentence drifted off into nothing. Matt didn't realize until that moment that he'd been shaking his head slowly to her words.

Silence between then engulfed the room, only broken by the repetitive tune of a waltz on the crackling record in the corner. Matt knew the song so well by know that he was mentally humming the parts that soon came, even though his mind was ablaze with thoughts, trying to think of some sort of answer that might cover how strangely he'd been acting.

Nothing came. Kari continued to watch him carefully, almost too nervous to look away. But then thoughts formed. Foggy ones. Words started to roll off his tongue before he could think properly. "Were you really as heart-broken as you looked when TK made you cry?" He had _not _just said that. He had not, had not, had _not. _

Kari looked just as horrified at Matt's words as he felt. "Er—" he muttered out, trying to think of an escape route for her. For _him. _

"Why… do you want to know?" Kari asked, giving him an anxious glance.

"I don't," Matt insisted gruffly. "Stupid. Don't answer. I don't know what I'm talking about." This had never happened before. Around a girl, he'd never been rendered silent out of his own blatant stupidity. There was something about Kari that constantly trapped him.

"I think I was," she began softly, ignoring Matt's words. Oh great. The _one _time she decided not to listen!? And of course he'd hear a response he had been expecting but not liking. Honestly. "But…" She fell silent, her gaze stuck on a photo hung on the wall behind Matt's head; she was thinking. "It was more like—more like I was so sad because the… story was over." She smiled sadly. Matt felt something else that felt foreign to him. Something… softer. He took a step closer toward her, closing the space between them again.

"Story?" he repeated, smirking. "Sounds epic. Is that what you two were?"

Kari was silent. "I think that a lot of people saw us that way." Her eyes flickered up to him, but stayed tied to his gaze. Oh no.

"That all sounds like it's in the past tense," Matt murmured, oblivious to how low his voice was going. Kari wasn't looking away now.

"It's compli—" She stopped. Blinked. Something was broken, and Matt suddenly realized how close they were. Close enough for him to bend down and—

"TK's your brother," Kari whispered abruptly. Matt looked at her as if to say, 'well, duh'.

"Yes?" he prodded; irritated that she'd looked away. They still hadn't moved apart.

"We're talking like—like he's not." She fiddled with a strand of hair nervously. No, no, Kari that was the _wrong _move, because it was a bad idea to touch that hair around Matt, and for the love of God not inches _away _from Matt. He grabbed at her hand, the one that was tugging at her hair. She froze; he froze.

"I don't care if he is," Matt whispered, and he meant it. What was he going on about? "Just…" He didn't know what to say. His hand was still covering Kari's, and her fingers were still twirled into the hair. He lowered her hand slowly, but kept her fingers entwined with his. "Just say he's not for a minute, okay?"

Kari looked scared; their eyes were locked together again and she couldn't look away. He knew it. "Ma—wh—why—"

Matt shouldn't have listened to that urge. He wasn't supposed to. It was horrible and forbidden and this was _Tai's little sister _and the love of his _little brother's life, _but it was too late now because his other hand had slid across the back of Kari's head, tilted her face up, and he kissed her.


	9. Lesson 9: Struggle to Act Normal

**A/N: **An extra long chapter! Hope you all enjoy!

* * *

**_Beating Hearts_**

_Chapter Nine_

* * *

**A legal kiss is never as good as a stolen one. – Guy de Maupassant**

* * *

Kari was frozen. She could not believe this. _Could not believe this. _She felt something that faintly resembled lips—_MATT'S LIPS_—on her mouth, and it was sort of half open from pure shock, and she didn't know if that was gross, it probably was, and he was _holding her hand _and she didn't know what to do with her other hand, or her mouth, because Heaven forbid she actually _kiss _him and he wanted her to forget TK so did he like her or was he just living in the moment as Matt was prone to do and oh my God he was still kissing her, he didn't seem to think her lack of response was a big deal and—

OH NO. She _was _responding! Her hand was in his hair, she could feel it, it was smooth like silk and flowing like water and he seemed to like it because was that a noise coming from his throat that sounded like a moan and hey this was actually pretty nice once she got used to it, although she didn't know if her lips were doing the right thing, but oh there went Matt's hands, down her sides, up her back, to her neck, and they were moving and she felt uncomfortable but also sort of at ease and wasn't this going to make things weird and what about Tai and TK and hadn't she started this whole dancing thing for TK and was she that transparent that Matt would notice she didn't really love him anymore and—

"Stop," she finally said, pulling away an inch. Matt's eyes snapped open, but he looked dazed. Kari knew how he felt. Her head was light from thinking and kissing or whatever they'd been doing. Matt just stared at her for a moment, and then he must have realized his hands were wrapped around her waist, and they were pressed tightly against each other. He took in the scene in a second and then whispered,

"Oh fuck."

Kari was surprised, but she could understand his horror. "We just—"

"Yea. I know." He pulled away, running a hand across his face and through his hair, a nervous habit he didn't use very often because—well—Kari had noticed that Matt didn't get nervous a lot.

She slid down to sit on the ground, still in shock. It was so hard to even process it, because this was _Matt. _Cool, calm, hot Matt. Matt who was in a band, who played bass and had the voice of a god. Matt, who was her brother's best friend and TK's older brother. Matt, who could waltz. Matt, who always thought of Kari's feelings. Matt… "This is so weird," she finally uttered in a horrified choke. "That—that didn't just happen, did it?"

Silence swelled. Matt's back was to her, and he was staring at the painting Kari had been looking at earlier. She could only see the back of his head, but she remembered running her hands through that hair (which was mussed from her fingers now) and shivered. Matt didn't reply, and that scared Kari. "…Ma—"

"I shouldn't have done it," he spat, his back still facing Kari. She didn't like talking to him when she couldn't see his face. "It was my fault. God, I took the chance and I didn't even—I wasn't even _thinking­_—" He broke off. Kari felt her heart sink, because no girl wanted to hear that the glorious, beautiful, and awkward first kiss they'd ever had was a mistake.

"Right," she answered weakly. "Of course. Who would think to kiss _me, _right?" She hadn't meant for the sarcasm to drip from her words, but she was still thinking of the feelings she'd had at the kiss, and her lips were still pulsing, and she wanted _more, _but of course not now. Matt would hate her now, and that made her bitter.

"Righ—no. _No._" Matt turned around then, kneeling down on his knees to face Kari. She saw that his eyes were wide with the aftershock, and his face was pale. But he still managed to look as gorgeous as ever. "No Kari, that's not what I meant. I just—It's a surprise. I didn't mean to. It was an acc—" He stopped.

"An accident?" Kari supplied, watching his eyes as he blinked nervously. "Of course. I get it." Something in her had changed. She had wanted more at first. She had wanted Matt to keep kissing her. She could barely believe he'd still done it—initiated it and everything. But now that he was making a fuss, it touched upon a nerve that had not often been touched.

She stood up, brushing the dust off of her pants that had accumulated when she slid to the ground in disbelief. "All right. Well, you can leave whenever you'd like." She turned and walked swiftly toward the sewing room door, ready to go hide in her room and mope but also _remember _that amazing kiss, and remember that _Matt _had kissed _her._

"Wait, c'mon. Kari?" She didn't turn around, not until his hand grabbed at her wrist. He was much stronger than her, and she felt her body being snapped back to face him before she could object.

"Hey—" she began angrily, but Matt held a finger to her lips. This silenced her automatically, merely because he was _touching _her.

"Let me talk, okay?" She noticed that the finger against her lips was trembling; he noticed it too, because he looked flustered and lowered his hand to his side again. His other hand was still gripped around her wrist.

"Fine." She wasn't in the mood for this. Everything in her brain was a complete and utter mess, and she could barely even concentrate; the one thing running through her mind was _kiss Matt kiss Matt who's TK? Kiss. Matt._

He watched her carefully, and she realized in that second that a kiss probably meant next to nothing to him. He was obviously gorgeous, and he was older and had had girlfriends (she'd seen them but never really noticed them before). So was he just going to hastily patch up a mistake with his best friend's sister and then leave it at that? She hoped against all odds that he wouldn't.

Matt was silent, and Kari could almost see his brain scrambling to think of something right to say to an angry girl after a kiss. "Are you going to talk?" she asked idly, and she saw irritation flash through his eyes; if she hadn't, the tightened grip on her wrist would have told her anyway.

"It was your hair," he blurted out, and the anger in his face changed rapidly to embarrassment. Or shock. Or both.

Kari herself was a bit surprised. "My—hair?" she repeated, and she could see the words made Matt's cheeks grow pink with awkwardness.

"Yes, but that's not important," he replied hurriedly. "I just—it was impulse and I should have ignored. _Not _because I don't like you—" he rushed at Kari's tiny scowl that had taken over her face, "—but because you're my best friend's little sister, and TK's—" He stopped. Matt hadn't finished his thoughts, but she had known what he was going to say and felt her stomach churn uncomfortably.

_TK's my little brother._

"Oh my God," Kari whispered again, feeling as if she may seriously be sick. "This is—we can't—"

Matt nodded. Kari couldn't finish her words. They could never fix this. It was absolutely impossible to turn back time and pretend it hadn't happened. Crushing on him was understandable; even disturbing thoughts were easily forgotten. But a kiss? A _kiss? _She couldn't run away from that! She couldn't act like everything was fine! How would she—how could she—

"Hey. Are you all right?" Matt's hand, still clutching her wrist, shook her skinny arm lightly. She blinked, looked up at him and then felt something in her stomach move again.

She clapped a hand to her mouth, and Matt instantly understood, taking a hasty step back. "I'm going to be sick," she muffled against her hand as explanation, and then flung open the door and dashed down the hall.

Only after puking over the toilet for several moments and panting as she hastily brushed her mouth with toothpaste, did Kari feel horribly mortified. She'd just run out on Matt to go throw _up. _How often did he kiss a girl and get a reaction like _that?_

_But he kissed me, _she thought again, and felt the giddiness that made her head throb and feet light. But now, it was plagued by worry. Trouble.

Where could they possibly go from here?

After leaving the bathroom, Kari treaded softly down the hall, peeking into the sewing room; Matt wasn't there. She was struck by the thought that he might have snuck out, and her heartbeat sped up.

"Matt?" she called.

"Out here," came his reply a moment later, and she was relieved to see the glass door to the balcony open, and Matt's lean body resting against the railing. She couldn't see his face, but only his back. The rain had stopped, and the clouds were a dark violet as a violent storm just waited to erupt.

She hesitantly stepped outside, feeling a shiver of excitement run through her as the warm storm wind blew past her. It was nearly impossible to look at Matt and realize that he had kissed her—for one second, he had wanted to kiss her. He had had _feelings _for her. Maybe it wasn't all as much of a far off whim as Kari thought.

Without looking at him, Kari rested her elbows on the railing and let out a puff of air, watching her bangs flutter in front of her eyes. Briefly she remembered Matt saying something about her hair; this led to her recalling his question about her being really heartbroken about TK, and the giddiness overtook her again.

"S—Sorry," she mumbled, feeling terribly out of place and young, once again.

"Don't be," he answered, and she could hear a strange lilt to his voice. She risked a flickering gaze in his direction to see a resigned sort of expression on his face. "It happens a lot."

Kari gaped at him. "I don't believe that," she told him stoutly, turning to face the city below them; their apartment complex was older than most, and was erected in what would be a normal downtown area. "No girl would normally do that after… after kissing you." At the words her face flamed up, but she refused to act childish. She couldn't help but remember what had gone on between them in quick flashes. It had been…

"I honestly don't know what to say." Matt slumped down, his arms crossed as they hung lazily on the railing; Kari could see how tense they were, though.

"It's… fine," Kari said, but she didn't believe her words. Fine? _Fine? _It wasn't fine at all! How could they leave something so important so… open-ended? So untied?

"I mean, I don't have the answers to everything," Matt muttered, but Kari wondered if he was still talking to her or to himself now. "I'm not a god… or something."

Kari felt her stomach clench again. She _had _seen him as a god, like he was some sort of gorgeous being too perfect for normal human beings. It was so obvious now that he was just like anyone else, only better at hiding what he was thinking. Argh, she was so _stupid! _She was no better off than any of his rabid fans…

"Do you do this to every girl you meet?" she asked softly, half teasing and half serious. It tugged at something inside of her. What if he kissed all of his groupies, too? What if being in a band _meant _you were supposed to do something like that?

"No," he answered stiffly… seriously. Kari felt stupid for even asking it.

"Sorry."  
"It's fine. I know you're probably weirded out."

Kari clenched her hands into fists, keeping her voice neutral. "What, and you're not?"

Matt snorted, still not looking at her, but out at the city. "Oh yea. I'm fucking _scared. _But I'm not going to make a huge deal out of it." She saw him glance at her, and then away. She realized she'd been caught watching him and quickly looked away as well. "That would just make things worse."

Kari couldn't think of anything to say to that. "I feel ridiculous," she murmured into her hands, trying to keep her focus. But every few seconds her mind was straying, and she wanted Matt to leave so she could sort out her feelings, but then she didn't because she wanted to speak to him about it, but that was too weird so maybe they should just make out again, but that was just her hormones talking.

"How are we going to _deal _with this?" she finally asked in a squeaky voice; Kari could hear the tremble in her words, and felt the tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. Argh. She wasn't supposed to _cry. _This wasn't some soap opera! This was just her life: her previously boring, dull, average life. Until Matt had stepped in.

"I don't know," Matt replied helplessly with a little sigh. His voice sounded a pitch higher than normal as well. "I have no damn idea how to deal with something like this." Hearing the exasperation in his voice, Kari clenched her eyes shut tightly for a moment, trying to think of an answer to their problems.

"Well… okay," she finally whispered, more to herself than anything. "There's really only one thing we can do for the first step."

Matt finally turned to look over at her, elbows still resting on the railing. "What's that?" he asked seriously. Kari felt strange now; was he looking at her like she was a woman now, or still that tiny girl he'd been teaching to dance as a favour to Tai and TK?

"We can't… have lessons anymore." The words came out faster than she intended. She didn't like saying them. She hadn't _wanted _to say them. But there was no escaping around the fact now. There was _no way _she'd be able to get that close to him again without having some sort of meltdown.

Matt was silent. "That's true," he agreed. "It was fun while it lasted, right?" he asked, a smirk tugging on his lips. Kari found it impossible to smile in agreement and just nodded her head obediently. _I don' t need them to impress TK anymore, _she thought mildly. _I probably won't go—_

"Oh no," she whispered, covering her mouth with her hands. _TK. _Why did things keep getting worse and worse? She had nearly forgotten about the dance and her promise to TK, and—well—TK himself!

"Finally realized it?" Matt asked idly. Kari flinched at his words, managing a glare in his direction.

"I wouldn't have _had _to think of a way around this if you hadn't kissed me," she snapped before thinking. They both froze, because she had spoken the truth they had been both silently denying. Matt was staring at her coldly; Kari struggled to keep her gaze even with his. "Well it's true," she added stubbornly, albeit quieter.

"I apologized already," Matt told her tightly.

Kari felt a twinge of irritation. "I don't _want _you to apologize," she told him calmly, but not rationally. "I just—do you—" She couldn't say it. _Do you really regret the kiss? _

Silence settled between them, and when it was clear Kari wasn't going to continue, Matt let out a soft, but heavy, sigh. "Just… don't tell your brother, okay?" He tried to smile, failed miserably, and stalked off the balcony back into the apartment. Kari stood silently as she listened attentively for the click of the door as he left the apartment. She heard it, and only after Kari was sure Matt was gone did she slide down to the cement floor of the balcony, wrapping her arms around her head as she felt the tears slide silently down her cheeks.

Who knew such an amazing kiss could have so many painful complications?

* * *

He wasn't going to make it. He wasn't going to be able to walk back to his apartment like everything was fine, like he hadn't just had an amazing make-out session with little Kari. Nope. His temper was already fraying, and mixed with confusion, frustration, and hatred for himself. Matt was near the breaking point.

Deciding he needed some time to think, he swerved at the next corner, where he knew a park was. He strode swiftly over to a bench sitting underneath the calming shade of a large tree; even the distant giggles and shrieks of children on the equipment didn't bother him as much as it normally would have. He was too tightly wrapped up in his own problems to really see what was going on around him.

With a sigh, he collapsed onto the bench of wooden slats, the white paint long worn away by wind and rain.

There was no way to express his stupidity. No way to express how idiotic his move was. He wanted to blame it all on the hair, but dammit, she'd been bothering him for a while. He'd just never really… paid attention.

"Shit," he muttered, resting his face in his hands as he tried to sort out his thoughts. He summed them up in three words: trouble, awkward, and amazing. The kiss had been… amazing. She'd obviously been surprised, and he'd been about to pull away, but the second she responded he forgot just who he'd been kissing and attacked her with full force. Just… _dammit. _It was so completely wrong and horrible and messed up, but it had felt perfect in that moment. Why did Fate hate him so much?

"HEY MATT! MAATTT!"

He froze. Fate hated him, all right. Fate hated him very, _very_ much.

Matt didn't move, but instead let Tai come wheezing and puffing his way toward him. Tai plopped down on the bench beside him; his cleats knotted at the strings and tossed over one shoulder. "What're you doing here?" he asked cheerfully.

Several emotions attacked Matt at once. He felt guilty for having kissed Kari and in turn, keeping it a secret from Tai. He felt sort of afraid, because if Tai ever found out what had happened, Matt would be a dead man. And he also felt uncomfortable, which was definitely a first.

"Er—thinking," he replied eloquently, his face still in his hands and his voice muffled.

"Oh yea," Tai agreed, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world to find Matt huddled up on a bench, hiding his face from the world. "Man, I ruled at our game today! I scored four goals! It was intense." Matt nodded his enthusiasm, although he was just hoping Tai would hop up and leave him there.

"Well, I was just heading home and—oh yea! How were dance lessons with Kari?" Tai asked easily. Matt was always surprised at how Tai could be suspicious one day, and then so normal the next.

"Fine," he answered, finally deciding that hiding his face was too suspicious. Warily lowering his hands, Matt cast a glance at Tai. He was sitting on the edge of his seat, still filled with adrenaline from his soccer game. Matt could see it because Tai's legs were bouncing up and down on the ground. Tai caught Matt's glance and grinned at him.

"I'm glad. She's so hyped up about the TK thing." He paused, frowning lightly. "I think. She's sort of holed herself up in her room lately."

Matt did _not _want to be talking about Kari and her habits as of late, especially with Tai. "That's interesting," he told him politely, the tone clearly indicating he didn't find it at all so.

"Isn't it?" Tai asked seriously, completely missing the point. "She's been funny ever since she was sick." He puckered his lips in a frown. "But she won't explain anything anymore. It's weird."

"I didn't think you and Kari were ever that close to begin with," Matt told him nonchalantly, struggling to control himself from lashing out at Tai and running off. The anger he was feeling had _nothing _to do with Tai. It was better to get out of this conversation and leave as quickly as he could.

"Well, I guess not." Tai shrugged. "But usually she was never this—moody."

Matt frowned, and couldn't help but wonder if he'd been the cause of it. But seconds later he realized that was self-centred and, once again, completely idiotic.

"She's a girl, Tai. How old is she now, anyway? Fifteen or something?"

Tai nodded. "I suppose so. Remember when she was eight and so much more manageable?" he asked wistfully, staring up at the sky with a smile on his face.

Matt snorted. "She was never manageable." He was surprised he'd said it. So was Tai. He looked over at him, squinting.

"I guess so," he finally answered, and Matt let out a silent breath of air. His heartbeat hadn't had a proper chance to slow itself down ever since he'd stepped into Tai and Kari's apartment earlier that day. What he needed was _peace. _

"Look man, I have to go practice for our set at the dance on Saturday," Matt told Tai calmly, wondering if Kari would even be going to the dance anymore, and how it would affect TK, and oh God _TK_—

"All right. See you later!" Tai stood up, waved, and began to walk down to his apartment. Matt waited until he was out of sight before standing up himself. He decided to take his own advice and go practice his songs. He knew them off by heart already, but… it wouldn't hurt. _Something _needed to distract him from whatever the hell was wrong with him.

* * *

Kari jumped when she heard the door opening. For a fleeting second she thought it might be Matt, but her hopes were dashed when she the familiar noises of Tai when he walked in.

"I'm home!" he cried out. Kari ignored him and rolled back over on the sofa, face squashed between the pillows. Rather than stumble to the safety of her room, Kari had collapsed on the sofa in the living room. So far, she hadn't thought of anything. Normally she'd be analyzing every little thing, worrying about what could come next. But so far her mind had stayed blissfully empty, and all she'd done was remember that expression on Matt's face before he'd kissed her. It was something she'd never seen on any guy's face, and especially not TK's.

"Kari? Where're—" he stopped short as she heard him walk into the living room. "Sleeping?" he asked quietly.

She was about to lie and stay silent, but her normal habits kicked in before she could stop them. "No," was her muffled reply.

"Man, dancing must have tired you guys out," Tai said huffily, sitting down at the foot of the sofa Kari was lying on.

Kari stiffened. "Whaddya mean?" she asked, voice still muted from the pillows.

"Well, I met Matt on the way home at the park, and he looked tired too. Now that you mention it, he was hiding his face as well." There was silence, and Kari tried to imagine how Matt had taken that scene. He obviously hadn't told Tai, as he'd asked Kari not to tell him either. So what he done? She couldn't possibly imagine the humiliation he must have felt.

She shuddered. Kari would be able to understand the next time she saw TK… she knew that for sure. "That's odd," she finally muttered, refusing to turn her head away and look less suspicious.

Tai was silent for a moment. "Yea… you're right." She heard him stand up and leave the room without another word. Wincing, Kari realized that Tai wasn't as stupid as he acted. Why did he have to meet up with Matt? She wouldn't be so suspicious if Matt—

Wait. Did that mean Matt was freaking out? Did that mean he was having feelings for her? The thought warmed her, but also scared her. After all, the constant question on her mind was, _what can come of this anyway? _

She sat up, her head feeling light. No matter how much she just wanted to hole herself up in her room, she had to at least act a little bit normal, or Tai would catch on way too quickly. "How was your game?" she asked him as she trotted into the kitchen, where Tai was busy making a bowl of cereal.

"I did great! Four goals," he told her with a grin. Kari smiled back.

"Congrats!" she cheered, and at the funny look on Tai's face remembered that she was not this chipper very often. So she fell silent and walked toward the refrigerator to grab some juice.

"So how's TK?" His question was mild, but Kari jarred at his words.

"How would I know?" she asked back quickly. "It's not like I talk to him all the time, you know!" _Just learn to keep your mouth shut, Kari._

"Uh, okay," Tai, said warily, casting her a funny glance. "What, did you and Matt have a lover's spat or something?" She couldn't see his face, but Kari seriously hoped he was joking.

After recovering from shock, she snapped, "do you _ever _think before you speak?"

There was a short pause. "Not really, no."

Kari rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "Mom and Dad will be home soon. Your turn to make supper!" And then she dashed out of the kitchen and down the hall. Hearing a strangled, delayed yell of protest from Tai, Kari was glad she was escaping to her room. After Tai's last comment she wondered just how much he knew about them.

"Argh!" she yelled as she face-dove on her bed, squishing her face up against her pillow. Normally one to keep her room tidy, Kari hadn't cleaned her room in days. There just hadn't seemed to be enough time.

_I always thought my first kiss would be with TK, _she thought suddenly. _Instead it's with his older brother._

She unleashed another muffled scream. How was she expected to _deal _with this? Not only this, but also having to see TK tomorrow, and trying to stay normal around Tai and everyone else! How would all their friends take to that? They'd be shocked! Mortified!

What would TK do? He would probably… give in without a fight, but not until he made Kari feel sufficiently guilty and horrible for being alive.

* * *

TK hesitantly dialled the numbers on his phone, waiting impatiently for Matt or his dad to pick up on the other end. Five rings went until he heard Matt's voice say, "sorry, we're not home. Leave a message so we can decide whether we want to call you back."

He waited for the beep. "Uh, hey Matt and Dad. How are you two? Uh, Matt, can you call me back when one of you gets this? Thanks." He hung up the phone, nibbling on his thumbnail nervously.

TK knew it was pathetic to be calling his older brother for girl advice. What kind of fifteen-year-old boy needed to check with his graduating brother every five minutes to make sure he wasn't losing Kari? It felt like every second that passed was another second wasted.

Hesitantly, he sat down on the impeccable living room sofa. His mom had just recently renovated, and everything in their apartment was clean, new, and predictably white. It made TK feel awkward, whose bedroom was a mess of color.

Staring at the vase on the coffee table with the plastic white lilies sitting daintily inside, he began to worry again. Whenever he worried, he became flustered. Was it horribly clingy of him to be hoping Kari would call him? Hoping Kari would ask to spend time with him like she used to? Ever since a few weeks ago she'd been backing off.

TK knew it could be anything… but it had been at that time he wanted to move things forward, and look what happened! It seemed to be scaring her off more. The dance debacle was strange in itself, and TK wanted _answers. _He had no idea why calling Matt would help. Maybe his brother's gruff reality would make him realize that nothing was wrong; maybe because Matt went over to Tai's almost everyday he might have talked to Kari more than TK himself had in the last while. Whatever it was, TK just needed… _answers. _

Asking Kari herself? Out of the question.

Waiting another fifteen minutes, TK couldn't stand it and picked up the phone again, hitting redial. This time it only rang twice before someone picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Matt," TK greeted in response, relief evident in his voice.

"Oh, right. I just got your message." Something was funny in his voice.

"Are you okay? You sound like you're sick or something." TK was worried.

"No, no, I'm fine," Matt reassured him hurriedly. Seconds later he sounded almost like his normal self. "So what's up?"

"Um, well… It's a bit strange," TK admitted, blushing over the phone even though his brother wasn't there to scold him in person.

Matt heaved a quiet sigh. "Are you worried about your girlfriend again?"

"I don't think she's really my girlfriend," TK argued stoutly for some bizarre reason. Wasn't that what he wanted?

"Fine, Teeks, okay. Kari's not your girlfriend, just your soul mate, your lover, and the girl that was meant to be with you! That sort of thing?" His voice had gone funny again… bitter, or something.

"Are you having girl troubles too?" TK asked hopefully. He wouldn't feel like such an idiot if Matt could complain too.

A pause answered him, but it was too long to be normal. "I don't get girl problems, little brother," Matt informed him breezily. TK frowned.

"Well, what about mine? What should I do? Has Tai said anything?" TK asked in a rush.

"TK, don't," Matt complained from the other end of the line. TK heard a _thump _as Matt flopped down on something, like a bed or a sofa.

"What?" TK asked, hurt. Wasn't Matt always there to help him? Why was he being so strange right now? "I just don't want… to lose her," he whispered softly. "But I'm afraid she hates me now, or something."

"TK, I don't—" Strangled noises, as if Matt was struggling to say something and failing miserably. "I don't know what to do, all right? I don't have all the Goddamn answers everytime you pick up the phone or come over to Dad's apartment. All right?"

TK grew quiet. "All right," he replied in an offended tone. "Geez, sorry."

"I don't want to talk about Kari," Matt suddenly snapped, and the sentence was final.

"Wha—you talked to Kari?" TK blurted out without thinking. When? Where? _Why?_

"_TK,_" Matt's voice was hard, and it startled TK. "I don't want to talk about Kari," he repeated slowly, enunciating every syllable. "Okay?"

He wanted to know what was going on. Since when had Matt even cared about talking about Kari? Whenever TK had brought her up before, Matt had been all for discussing ways he could woo a girl's heart. But suddenly—

"All right, fine," TK replied sulkily. "Sorry for bothering you."

"Wait, TK—"

"See you in school." TK hung up the phone with a soft click, surprising because anger was radiating off of him unnaturally. Matt was one of the only people TK could ever truly get angry with. Maybe it was a brothers thing, but sometimes Matt just said the wrong thing, or pulled the wrong expression, and TK would _know, _deep down, that Matt was making fun of him or thought he was stupid, or… or… talking to his girlfriend behind TK's back.

"ARGH!" he cried suddenly, jumping up. "Kari is _not _my girlfriend!" he added in a shout.

Why in the _world _did he keep refusing what was once the inevitable? Probably because he just didn't know what to think of her anymore. Once she'd been so kind, and sweet, and yes, she'd gotten irritated with him. Yes, they'd had their little spats, but they'd always made up. They'd been through too much together to mysteriously start drifting apart without any appropriate reason!

_What is going on in your head, Kari? _TK asked silently, but there was no one to answer him.

* * *

At that precise moment, Kari's phone rang. She was the first to lunge for it, as it was cordless and hidden under her pillow and quilts on her bed. Kari could hear her parents yelling at each other to find it outside in the kitchen, but she quickly picked it up and without looking to see who was calling, clicked the 'talk' button.

"Hello?" she asked breathlessly, tired from having flung pillows and blankets haphazardly into different directions.

"Kari."

She knew who it was. Her stomach knotted, her knees grew weak, and butterflies not only erupted in her abdomen but in her head as well.

"Yes?" she asked, almost dazed. Was this how she was always going to act around Matt now?

"We need to talk."


	10. Lesson 10: How to Deal With Aftermath

_**Beating Hearts**_

_Chapter 10_

* * *

**We only part to meet again. – John Gay**

* * *

Kari wasn't ready for Tai bursting into her room unannounced. She was still holding the phone in her hand, heart pounding. How was it fair that he had this power over her? _How? _

"Who was that?" Tai asked loudly. Kari blinked up at him, suddenly frightened. What was she supposed to say? What was there _to _say? Oh no, time was ticking, and Tai was staring at her like she was crazy. How could she come up with a good excuse?

"DAVIS!" she finally yelled. "Uh, Davis is at the park down the street. He found my wallet there, and he decided to call me!"

Tai blinked at her. "When did you go to the park?"

"Earlier today," she replied evasively, risking only a quick glance in the mirror so Tai wouldn't get suspicious. She'd have to seriously inspect her appearance in a window on the way to the park.

"Well, I was at the park earlier, and—"

"Different time, don't worry." Kari sidestepped him and nearly ran to the door, slipping on some shoes and glancing at her reflection in the doorknob for want of a better mirror.

"Why're you acting so funny?" he asked. Kari jumped; she hadn't expected him to follow her to the door.

"No reason. I mean, I'm not." She wasn't embarrassed, so at least her face wasn't flaming up suspiciously. She was just… Kari felt strange, almost giddy. She had no idea what was going to happen, but for once it made her feel excited rather than anxious. Although the twinge of nervousness was still there, floating somewhere in her abdomen. "I'll be home soon. Bye!" And she darted out of the apartment and ran down the steps to the first floor before Tai could catch her.

By the time she was outside of the apartment complex, she was already breathing heavily. Kari's lungs had never been strong because of her illness as a child, so she decided to walk the rest of the way although her body was still tingling, remembering the phone call.

_"We need to talk."_

_"T—Talk? Well, okay. At school?"_

_"No."_

_"…No?" _

_"Now."_

_"Oh, uh, okay. Tai's here though, so—_"

_"Meet me at the park, then."_

_"By my _house?_"_

_"Yea."_

_"Uh, well—_"

_"See you then."_

It hadn't exactly been a spectacular, thrilling conversation. He hadn't confessed his deep love for her—NOT that Kari wanted _that, _of course—or anything. But still… Matt was going to see her out of choice.

And then she realized it might be something like, "I never want to see you again". The thought sobered her up, and she arrived at the playground equipment at the park with a heavy heart.

* * *

It was hard to believe so much had happened in one day… and it was _still _that day. Monday. Six days until the dance on Saturday. What could happen in that time period?

Matt found that pacing did nothing to ease his anxiety, and so he found himself sitting on the swings. The moon was high up in the sky, but he could barely see the night sky from all the lights of the city. The park was relatively dark, though. Peaceful. Matt had always loved playgrounds at night. They always made him nostalgic and put him in a better mood, which was definitely what he needed right now.

It was a careful balance he had to set. Kari was someone he didn't want to make angry, but she was also annoyingly empathetic. She would know when he got exasperated with her, or angry with himself. But she would take it the wrong way like she always did, and that always ticked Matt off even more. Why couldn't she be as empty as half of Matt's past girlfriends had been?

Not that Kari was his girlfriend. Or ever would be. Matt knew that a kiss was only a kiss, and didn't necessarily bind two people for life. After all, they'd only really been talking for—what—two weeks? A week?

Matt found that he was twisting around the swing, the chain above him clinking as it wound tighter and tighter, just like when he was small. Without thinking he stopped twisting, and the swing went spinning around. Matt saw the playground equipment as a giant colored blur as he spun. He couldn't help but crack a smile of pure childlike amusement.

Until he saw something move out of the corner of his eye. He stuck his foot in the sand, the swing halting and flopping awkwardly in the air. Matt turned his head to see Kari standing at the edge of the sandpit, her arms crossed protectively in front of her sides. She looked uncomfortable.

"Oh." Matt leaped up, trying to flatten his dishevelled hair. Well, she had managed to catch him in what was definitely an uncool moment. Matt hated it when that happened, and Kari seemed to be the only one who ever managed to do it. "Hi."

"Hello," she responded, and Matt could see she was strained. Whenever the girl felt stressed, Matt had always felt the need to be comforting, and it usually worked with a few smooth words. But he could _never _imagine treating Kari like one of those girls.

"Uh, want a swing?" he asked stupidly, but Kari willingly shuffled over and plopped down on the swing, lifting her hands to grip the chains. Matt could see in the dim street light glow that her knuckles were white. He didn't know what to do, so he sat down on the swing beside her.

For a few moments it was silent, albeit the soft clinking of the swing chains as the two swung lightly back and forth. Matt didn't know what to say, and he felt like an idiot. Hadn't he called her here to speak to her?

"So," he finally began, but didn't know where else to go. Say something, dammit! Where did all his suave go? Why was he sitting there, silent? "Did you have any trouble getting here?"

"No," Kari said after a moment's silence. "Tai will probably interrogate me when I get home, though."

"Ah." Matt struggled for something to say. "Well, my dad doesn't care what I do, so I had no trouble." He smiled over at her, but she looked worried. Oh great. He didn't want her pity, either.

"Look." He tried to think of the right thing to say. He sat sideways on the swing, looking at Kari. Her swing was still moving slowly back and forth, but her eyes were trained on his. The look blinded him idiotically for a moment, until he remembered what he was doing and collected his thoughts. "I just called you here because I didn't want you to feel… anxious."

Her lips pursed. Matt struggled not to stare at them and—_oh GOD—_so he turned away, afraid of looking at her. This was a strange feeling, strong and tugging at something inside of him. "I just needed to let you know that I—I wouldn't have done that normally."

"I know," was all she said. Matt didn't know what to do. He could hear she was annoyed, but how could he possibly walk out of this situation _without _her hating him? He really hoped she wasn't starting to… to have a crush on him or something! The thought caused him to smile darkly for a split-second, but with his luck Kari caught it.

"What?" she asked, and he could hear she was hurt.

"Nothing," replied Matt without thinking.

A quiet sigh. "Why… Why did you want to meet up?" She was avoiding his eyes now, staring down at her shoes. Matt noticed they were pink with little yellow stars trailing on them. Shoes for a little girl.

He was silent, staring at her shoes. "Look, I've never done this before." He shot a quick glance at her, but she was still gazing at the sand. "Usually if I ever made out with a girl"—the memory of kissing Kari flooded back and he had to desperately try and ignore it—"we usually just leave it at that, you know? Not ever much… closure." Another look over and he saw her face was glowing pink.

"So," she began after a hesitant moment, "so why are you closing it up with _me?_" It was an innocent enough question, but the tone made Matt uncomfortable. It felt like she was blaming him for whatever feelings would rush through her in the next few moments.

"That's because this situation is completely different," Matt rushed on. The only thing he knew now was to just talk and get it over with, because there was no way he could keep getting plagued with these feelings. He had to practice with his band the rest of the week, everyday until very late; he didn't have _time _to feel that anxious plucking thing he did otherwise. He wiped his hands nervously on his jeans. Matt barrelled on, oblivious to Kari's rapidly changing expressions as he spoke. "I mean, a kiss is just a kiss, right? I'm sure dancing with someone for a week can do that, and yea, it's only been a week! Not that that's any big deal to me, but for you it might be sort of a shock. And let's not forget Tai and TK or any of the Digi-destined because; let's face it, they'd freak out. And I'm older, and graduating, and I don't—"

"Okay." Kari's steely voice interrupted Matt, which was sort of helpful because he had been babbling. _Babbling. _The thought alone was a foreign concept to Matt, and to have just run his mouth off like that was mortifying.

"Kari, look, what I mean is—"

She stood up from the swing abruptly. Matt could only see her back, and for this reason felt unnecessarily nervous. "I get it, Matt. I'm not stupid." There was a silence. Matt couldn't believe she was acting like that.

Kari turned her head around to face him, and she had a soft smile on her face as she looked down at him, still sitting uselessly in the swing. "I get it," she said again. "Goodnight, and thank you for the dance lessons." She gave him a polite bow of the head and then turned around, walking into the lit streets that lined the park.

All he could do was stare as her small body slowly vanished in the sparse crowd of the few people that were making their way homes or to elsewhere that late at night. Seconds after she left his first thought was, 'I should have walked her home,' and a quick second being, 'her smile _completely_ threw me off!'

He didn't move from the swing for quite a while. Matt tried to sort through his feeling and thoughts, but he was so confused that he couldn't understand anything properly.

* * *

Kari was proud of herself. She had acted composed. She had been quiet. She'd let Matt do his nervous rambling. She'd allowed herself to feel the pain she shouldn't have felt when he basically said 'I don't want to kiss you ever again.' She'd even ended with a damn _smile. _She'd made it through it all fairly well.

But once she escaped the darkness of the playground and made it out onto the lit streets of her neighbourhood, her expression darkened, and her composure crumbled.

Not like this. Not like this. Not here, on the streets. For God's sake, this wasn't some pathetic _soap opera! _Her stomach was churning anxiously, and she felt sick all over again. Kari was remembering the kiss, oh God that kiss, but not just that. Even before that. All her awkwardness around him, the pleasure she felt before he came over for lessons, the mounting anxiety while she waited for him to come in and the clumsy hope she felt when they danced, waiting for his praises at her waltzing.

Waltzing. That spurned on all sorts of other thoughts. Who knew _Matt _would be a waltzing fan? He had let her in on something private about himself, something that not all his fans knew. It was something between them that they shared, and now it was gone. It wouldn't be mentioned again.

Oh God. The tears were streaming down her face now, and she hastily tried to wipe them. A soft sob escaped from her throat, and she slumped against the stone fence beside the sidewalk. Sliding down so her back rested against it, she fell silent and still. It was late. Just _how _late? Ten o'clock? Eleven? Her parents would murder her. Tai wouldn't stop bugging her. But she couldn't get up, she didn't have the will to stand and go home and deal with her family. Deal with passing the sewing room. Deal with being alone in her bedroom with nothing but her thoughts and her damn _feelings _plaguing her.

"We weren't even dating or _anything,_" she whispered, trying to convince herself to get over it. But whatever she felt for Matt, it was stronger than anything else, even the devotion she felt for TK. It was something bigger, more powerful, something more unattainable and yet so much more satisfying.

Satisfying? Yea, right. All it had caused her was grief, and—and _this. _Sitting in the middle of the street, crying into her lap.

Ten minutes later Kari shakily stood up and made her way home. It was a huge task, and she dreaded walking into her apartment. But she needed to get out of the street and away from the park, where all thoughts would always lead back to Matt.

* * *

Tuesday morning, Matt found himself glancing anxiously through the halls. No sign of Kari's head bobbing through the crowd, although it would be rare to see her anyway. He would normally ask TK, but TK probably knew as much about Kari's whereabouts as Matt did.

_I need to stop, _he ordered himself, and forced his eyes in front of him as he headed to his Japanese History class. _It's not like she wouldn't come to school. She's _Kari.

At that moment, Matt saw Tai's infamous hedge of hair several people in front of him. Without thinking he quickened his pace.

"Tai!" he cried, and Tai turned his head after several seconds of reaction time. He grinned when he saw Matt and stopped in the flood of students. Matt caught up to him, and the two friends began walking down the hall.

"Hey man," Tai greeted. "How's your morning been?"

"Boring," Matt replied as he shrugged his shoulders. "Yours?"

Tai rolled his eyes and made a grimace. "Please, don't make me talk about it!" he complained dramatically.

Matt sighed, and Tai continued anyway. There was no stopping him once he decided to tell a story. "It all started last night when Kari vanished for a surprising amount of time—"

Matt felt sickening jolt in his stomach. He had come to talk to Tai, but not about Kari, good Lord _not _about Kari!

"—and when she came back—startlingly late for a fifteen-year-old, might I add—she just ignored us all, snapped at Mom and Dad, and then hid out in her room! We all tried to persuade her to get up and go to school this morning, and boy did she throw a fit. She even tried to pull the 'I'm sick, call a doctor' which usually scares my parents into doing whatever she asks, but this time they just ignored her. It's so obvious she's having a tantrum over something, but no one in my family can figure it out!" Tai sighed heavily, running a hand through his mess of hair. "Honestly, sisters."

"Y—Yea," Matt croaked out, coughing to get a hold of his voice again. "So, did she end up coming or what?" he asked weakly, praying to anyone and anything that would listen that Tai didn't notice how winded he was acting. Had the meeting at the park caused all of that? Well, obviously, but… the thought that _he _could create a reaction (that wasn't just senseless screaming from an audience) was unnerving.

"Yea, but she was running later than _I _was. I didn't wait for her, so who knows if she actually ended up coming." Tai jumped suddenly. "Oh, here's my class. Talk to you later!" He smiled easily and swerved into the classroom, his anxiety about Kari already forgotten.

Matt was jealous of Tai's gift. Throughout his whole Japanese History class, he could barely catch a word the teacher was saying. He even ignored Lee, who was trying to get his attention from desks up to try and ask him something about band practice.

It was torture, but finally class was over. Matt escaped without having to deal with Lee, and was walking quickly down the hall, contemplating skipping out on the rest of the day. He couldn't believe that thought was entering his mind, but it was way too weird dealing with school. Matt _hated _how Kari was affecting him so much. It was supposed to be done. So why—

"Oh!" he muttered, as his shoulder caught with someone else's. He apologized to the girl quickly, who was bright red with awkwardness. He turned around to continue on his way, when he bumped into a second person.

"Dammit!" he hissed darkly, a bit embarrassed of his own clumsiness. "Look, sorr—" He froze when he lifted his eyes to the girl.

It was Kari. Kari, who had huge bags under her eyes. She looked flat, like she hadn't bothered with washing her hair or anything. "Oh" was all he managed, and weakly at that.

"Hi Matt!" she greeted brightly, giving him a small smile. Matt's eyes widened; he could feel his muscles freeze with shock.

"Er—"

"Well, I'm going to be late." She shifted the books in her arms. "I'll talk to you later." She waved and then vanished down the hall.

Matt must have looked ridiculous, frozen like a statue in the middle of the hall. He was only thinking one thing. _Is Kari over it before _I _am? How is that possible?!_

* * *

The first thing Kari had felt was fear. And then, mortification. She knew very well how horrible she looked, but she honestly hadn't cared. It was stupid of her, considering it was always possible to run into Matt. So she had done the first thing she could think of to cover up her horror. She'd greeted him cheerfully, like nothing had happened; and she had seen his eyes widen, seen the confusion written all over his face. Kari realized she was now getting better at reading Matt's expressions (or lack thereof)… there was no point to it all, of course.

How depressing this was. She'd come to school tomorrow cleaned up, she knew that for sure.

"Kari!" A hand on her shoulder. A smile. Kari turned to her left to see TK beside her.

"Oh, hey," she said. TK frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"Uh, nothing," Kari replied, looking down the hall. TK's hand dropped from her shoulder.

"Kari…"

"Nothing's wrong TK," she said again, a bit more forcefully. She didn't want to risk a glance at him. She was afraid her heart might break, or she might fall to the floor and cry, or spill everything to him: how she'd fallen for Matt, how TK was only a friend, how she didn't want to go to the dance the school was giving anymore, how she didn't know what to do or say around him.

"What're you _talking _about?" he whispered angrily. Kari was taken aback, but at that moment TK tugged at her arm and pulled her to the side of the hall, where it was more peaceful. "Kari, you're…" he looked at her, concerned. "You're crying, you know."

Kari stared at him. Then she felt the stray tears drying on her cheeks. "Oh my God," she whispered, wiping them away quickly. She could feel her cheeks burning, and could feel TK's eyes on her.

"Want to tell me what's wrong?" he asked softly. Kari hesitated. She wanted to tell him so badly, to get rid of this heavy weight she was carrying on her shoulders. But how _could _she? Kari didn't want to destroy TK's view of her. Once she'd thought TK knew her the most out of anyone, but now… well, Kari didn't even understand herself! It seemed like there was no one she could talk to.

"N—Not really," she spoke without thinking. TK's face grew dark. "It's just, I don't even know, and—well—" Kari stuttered clumsily through some sort of lie, but nothing made sense. Finally, she sighed. "I just need some time."

TK's face froze. "…Time?" he repeated.

"Yes." She didn't elaborate. She felt there was no need. Risking a glimpse into his eyes, she saw he looked… he looked so many different things: sad, scared, worried, confused… and heart-broken.

"But—"

"I'll see you Saturday night, okay?" Kari told him, meaning the dance. She wasn't about to go without a date just because Matt—oh no. Matt was going to be there. But before she could think anymore on that subject, TK's quiet voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Kari, did I—what did I—"

"Nothing." She rested a hand on his arm impulsively, looking into his eyes. "I'm a… a big mess right now, TK. You're still perfect, trust me." She said it seriously, and he knew she was serious. But her tone was sad. _She _was sad. Kari turned away then, realizing the truth of her words. TK _was _perfect. It was she who was the villain, and this made tears itch at the corners of her eyes all over again.

Something had to be done. And no, not to get Matt back. To get over it, to move on… to realize she and Matt were from two different worlds. Things would never work between them except for when they were on the dance floor.

* * *

_Three Days Later…_

Matt was about to snap. It didn't help that he had gotten next to no sleep these past few days practicing with the Wolves (and now that he realized it, they weren't that great). His singing was off and his bass playing was constantly wrong. Matt wasn't feeling up to par, and his band mates could sense it.

Along with this sleep that he missed so much, Matt had seen Kari in the halls far too much for his liking. She constantly popped up, and whenever she did she always greeted him cheerfully, asked him how his classes were going, and whatever useless chatter girls could come up with. And he was always stuck for an answer, always scrambling to perform as cool as she was acting. Not to mention that she looked much better than he felt. The concept alone was unnerving.

Kari, the little girl and little sister of Tai, should not be affecting him this much. Whether it was her presence he was missing, or just the reaction she was having to this 'we can't see each other again' fiasco, he didn't like how _he _was feeling about it. Hadn't he been the one to decide they should stay away from each other? So why was he regretting it more and more as the days passed?

He avoided TK as much as he could, but his brother seemed to plague him almost as much as Kari. The only thing he talked about was how Kari needed "time", and Matt was growing sick of it. This was the only sign that she hadn't completely gotten over what Matt had told her on Monday, and for some reason it lifted his spirits… but only a little.

Matt was in need of dramatic help. The one person he had considered asking was away on a trip to America. Mimi had decided at the beginning of the week to pay a visit down to her father, who was still living there. So much for that advice he was in dire need of. The only other people Matt could even think of asking would be TK and Tai, and—well—unless he went about it sneakily, it was absolutely out of the question.

After school on Thursday (after several more awkward and embarrassing encounters with Kari), he made his way to a familiar, old apartment. He hesitated before pressing the buzzer.

A voice answered almost immediately. "Hello?" it asked, crackling. Matt felt relief. He hadn't heard that irritating voice in so long.

"Joe?"

Silence. "Er—yes?"

"It's Matt."

"OH!" Shock was evident. "You should have said so! I'll let you up, hang on…" The buzzer clicked off, and the door opened for Matt.

When he came up to the door, Joe was waiting on the inside. "Hey Matt!" he greeted cheerfully. Matt could see he was happy to have old company. Matt couldn't complain. Joe was crazy, paranoid, and irritating, but he was a friend.

"Hey," he replied, smiling at the older boy. Joe led the way into his apartment, babbling.

"It's been so long! This is a bit strange, let me tell you. Not to be rude, but out of all the Digi-destined I didn't expect _you _to visit me. Uh, don't take offence though!" He laughed, pointing to the coffee maker on the counter as Matt took a seat at the table. "Coffee?"

"No thanks," Matt declined politely, smirking over at Joe. "I used to remember when you didn't chatter so much."

"What? I thought I always talked a lot. Too much, according to you guys," Joe said, chuckling as he poured himself a cup of coffee. "So what brings you here, Mr. Graduating?"

Matt groaned at Joe, slumping his head in his arms. "Please, don't remind me."

"Oh? Unhappy about leaving the blissful ignorance and safety of high school?" Joe said wistfully as he took a seat across from Matt at the small wooden table, sipping at his coffee daintily.

"Safety?" Matt snorted, glaring at Joe. "You've been out of there for too long."

"Have I? I suppose." Joe straightened the glasses on his nose, sliding his chair closer so he could rest his elbows on the tabletop. Unassuming silence filled the kitchen for several minutes, as Matt tried to think of what to say and as Joe hummed softly.

"…Joe?"

"Yes?" Joe replied, looking down at Matt.

Matt kept his eyes on the grain of the tabletop, his face half-hidden in his arms. "You've had to… deal with things you don't like, right?"

Joe let out a harsh bark of laughter. "Boy, _have I! _That whole Digital World thing? Not exactly my cup of tea, Matt. Don't you remember how scary and—weird it was?" Joe pursed his lips. "Of course, I'm not complaining now. But… this isn't exactly about bringing up the past, is it?" he asked in a softer voice. "You don't talk to people without a reason, you know."

Matt frowned at Joe's smirk of knowledge. "Shut up," he ordered, but neither knew it was serious. "I don't know, I have this girl problem…" He stopped at Joe's intake of air. "…Which you probably know nothing about," he realized with a grin. Joe frowned at him.

"That's not true! I've had my—er—romantic endeavours!" After a moment's pause, he shook his head. "But really, why would you come to _me _about something like this? Wouldn't Tai or someone be more suited to something like that?"

"Well—I can't… really…" Matt couldn't say anything about Kari. If Joe knew he'd probably die of a heart attack, but only after scolding Matt for his idiocy and complaining about all of the implications of his immature actions. "Tai wouldn't get it," he finally decided. "You know how oblivious he can be."

"Ah, true," Joe agreed, but Matt still saw apprehension or something like it in his eyes. He heard suspicion in his voice.

"Well, I sort of told her we couldn't see each other anymore, and I didn't expect her to get over it so fast, but she _has, _and for some reason _I _haven't! You know how rare that is!" Matt complained all in one burst, finally sitting up.

Joe shook his head. "Matt, we haven't talked in ages. The most I've heard is that you have lots of groupies. I'm sure they don't get over _you_ too quickly." He was smiling, and that bothered Matt.

"Joe, I'm serious!" he added heatedly. "This is unnatural, and I don't like it. I don't like being the one feeling shunned, or—or left in the dark, or something!"

"Forgotten?" Joe put in quietly.

Matt nodded emphatically. "Yes, forg—no. No, not that extreme," he decided frowning. "I mean, it wasn't even serious! It was just one damn kiss, but things feel so weird if I don't…" _If I don't meet up for our dancing lessons. If I don't see her smile, or tease her for her shyness. _"She's just a little kid," he added in a whisper.

Joe jumped in his seat. "Matt! I hope you literally don't mean that! You know that's against the law, right? I mean, you have to seriously consider your thoughts about rethinking this relationship if the girl is _that _young! And just what were doing with a young girl, anyway? Are you serious?" His eyes were round with shock. Matt had to snort.

"No, I'm _not _serious! She was just younger than me, that's all." That's all. It seemed so simple here, at this table. But when he was alone with her, and he could smell her shampoo and laughed with her at her clumsy stepping as they danced, it was something completely different.

"Well then, why don't you just kiss her again?" Joe asked, half-calm now that he knew (or at least hoped) Matt was joking about the kid thing.

Matt stared at him. "You know what, you were right. I don't know if you're cut out for this stuff."

Joe flushed under Matt's criticism. "Look, I'm just trying to get the basic points here! You like girl. I assume girl likes you." He quirked an eyebrow.

"Er—yes. Well. I don't know if I have any feelings for her! Actually, I shouldn't."

"Maybe that's the problem," Joe said thoughtfully, tapping the table with his index finger. "Denial."

Matt was silent. _Was _that the problem? Was he actually… attracted to Kari? The thought was ridiculous, but going over everything…

"Well, I was randomly jealous on the odd occasion," he finally uttered.

"Mhm," Joe urged.

"And… I really liked the kiss. A lot. But I felt guilty afterwards, and that's why I broke it off." Funny how it actually sounded like there had been a relationship.

"Guilty?"

"For—various reasons."

Silence. "My advice," Joe finally began, slowly and deliberately, "would be to equal her. If she's acting nonchalant, so should you. Friendly? You do it too. It might be awkward, but at least it'll be the first step to recovery. I've heard that things like this often backlash on the actual dumper, for lack of a better word. You're probably feeling regret, and rather selfishly might I add. Anyway, I think you should show this girl that you're going to stick to your decision. Live your life, date other girls, but be civil to the last one. Don't just give her existence the cold shoulder, you know? I don't think any human beings like to be forgotten, even by the one who broke their heart." Joe raised his eyebrows.

"I—I didn't break her heart!" Matt spluttered, the thought terrifying. "She's fine! She's acting fine!"

"Ah. Keyword: acting."

"You know, you were actually starting to make sense until you opened your much just that little bit too much at the end."

Joe laughed. "I thought your temper had cooled over the years!"

Matt paused. "So had I," he replied. "I guess you'll just always bug me," he told Joe with a smile.

"I think that's the closest thing I'm going to get to a thanks, huh?" Joe asked rather dejectedly.

"I think so," Matt agreed.


	11. Lesson 11: Expect Disappointment

_**Beating Hearts**_

_Chapter 11_

* * *

**If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment.** -- Henry David Thoreau

* * *

Saturday. The day of the dance. Kari was still keeping her distance from Matt, although they had both kept their cool when they met in the halls. Matt seemed to be awkward though, which Kari found oddly satisfying. She liked it that she could tilt his world a little.

But then she thought of the dance again, and her stomach would curl. She hadn't spoken to TK since the hallway incident, where she had proclaimed she needed 'more time'. And yet she was meeting him at the hall! What was she going to say? So far Kari had thought of nothing to justify her words.

And then there was the dancing. All she had learned was some useless waltzing. Matt had _tried _to show her that funny way kids danced together, but… and what about just dancing alone? With friends? Was she supposed to wiggle her elbows or what?

Matt. Matt. Matt. She tried desperately not to think about that part of the dance. But how would Kari be able to forget him with his deep, soulful voice resonating through the entire hall?! Argh!

Just then, there was a knock on Kari's door.

"What?" she called out, her face muffled in a pillow. Kari had stayed home from school, throwing out the old, "I don't feel well." She'd been doing good all week, but Kari didn't know if she would have been able to stand another day of making polite conversation with Matt. Something had changed with him, and now he was matching her false sweetness. It was odd.

"I'm off to work," said her father.

"Have a good day," Kari mumbled out in her best weak voice. She waited until her father's steps faded away before relaxing completely. This normally wasn't like her: playing hooky, laying around in her pyjamas, avoiding her problems. But sometimes it was just too much to take. After all, Kari was a normal teenaged girl. She was going to feel stressed sometimes, and not just from schoolwork and being sick. Boys would obviously make up a large part of her problems.

But she had never imagined they'd be _this _large of a problem.

She lay in bed for several moments before deciding she should think of something to wear to the dance. Usually Kari was careless with her appearance, as she often met up with her friends in a school uniform. She had always tried to pretty herself up a little when Matt came over for dancing lessons, but…

Shaking her head and scolding her silliness, Kari hopped out of bed and began scanning her closet. What did one wear to a dance, anyway? Things like this never happened, and if they did Kari never went. Social functions made her nervous in a way just hanging out with friends didn't. She always felt as if everyone were watching her, or judging her clothes or her hair or something silly.

Kari turned and stared at herself in the mirror. Instantly she could choose several things she'd want to change about her appearance, but for a brief moment she pretended she was a stranger staring at her, not herself picking on what other's rarely noticed. She had an okay body, but it was more or less too thin because she was sick so often. No, no, she couldn't get picky about that. Moving on. Her eyes were big and a strange amber chocolate color. That was something nice about her. Her face okay, if not a bit too round, and her hair which drifted two or three inches past her earlobes was still the same dirty brown color. Its natural wave was beginning since she had slept on it all night, and she hastily finger combed through it. Enough with looking at herself (although she knew that was what she was bound to do all day). She had to pick clothes, make a convincing argument to her parents about being able to go the dance that night, and think of a way to break the awkward silences that often drifted between her and TK now. A pang of regret suddenly attacked her. If only Matt had stayed away. If only Kari had been smart enough to stop looking at him with moony eyes. Things would still be normal, and she'd still be anticipating the dance because of TK, and TK's smile and voice and comforting hand around her shoulders, and TK's laugh and the way he always looked right at her, never avoiding her (until recently). She could still be looking forward to all of that, giggling with her girlfriends about maybe he'd kiss her, or ask her out, or _something. _

But it had gone too long and now it was too late, because Matt—TK's older brother—had the power to change the heart of any girl in the expanse of a week.

It wasn't fair.

* * *

Matt wasn't very anxious. He'd played at dozens of concerts, most of them… well… a lot different than a school dance. He'd rarely seen the students outside of the classroom walls, and wondered idly how everyone would act.

It wasn't as if his band was playing the whole night. A DJ was coming in later so people could listen to their favorite squeaky pop tunes. He was just there to get everyone excited for the dance.

"Matt? What're you doing?"

He looked up from his steady gaze at the roof down to Tai, who was sitting backwards in the chair ahead of him, staring at him curiously. "You look so serious these days."

Matt quirked a single eyebrow. "And I'm usually in a light, joking mood?" he asked back sarcastically. Tai shrugged, and Matt felt guilt poke him in the sides.

"Excited for tonight?" Tai asked, changing topics rapidly again. "I am! I'm gonna dance with all the gorgeous girls, and it'll be so _great_!" he giggled, looking pleased and sneaky at the same time. Matt rolled his eyes underneath closed lids, so that his friend could enjoy himself at the moment.

"Yea, it'll be a great party," Matt said in a flat tone, rolling his pencil back and forth on his desk.

Tai stared at him. "You are such a downer sometimes," he said, but Matt couldn't tell if he was joking or serious. Tai smiled after his words, but Matt didn't believe it.

"Yea, well," was his intelligent reply. So what? He wasn't allowed to think? He was allowed to stay quiet sometimes? Good God.

* * *

Kari paced anxiously in the entrance to their apartment. It was almost seven o'clock, which meant that TK would be (hopefully) picking her up in a few minutes. Tai had already left, saying something about meeting up with 'his ladies' before going to the dance. Kari's parents had 'ooed' and 'awwed' over her dress, although it was nothing too special. But it was a rare occasion to see Kari dressed up, so they'd taken lots of photos and she'd stood there, embarrassed but happy. She really thought she looked good, in the light green dress that was slimming, but not so much that it showed her gangly stick-thinness. Her hair was nice too. She'd let it dry naturally… let it dry wavy.

She tried not to think that this was Matt's influence. Because it wasn't.

At the moment, Kari was just glad her parents had bought her story about feeling better once they'd come home.

A sudden buzzing snapped Kari out of her thoughts. After hastily telling TK he could come up, she paced outside of the door rather than inside the apartment. It was too stuffy in there.

TK appeared at the top of the stairs, and Kari jumped, smoothing out her dress embarrassedly. "Hey," she greeted TK, who was wearing a nice set of casual clothes, and yet it looked very classic and appropriate for a dance.

"Hey," TK said back, smiling at her. "You look great," he said sincerely. Kari felt a small blush creeping up on her cheeks. Was this it? Could things go back to normal from here?

"You too," she said softly, elbowing him in the side lightly. "Look at us, all dressed up."

"I know," TK agreed, chuckling. Kari noticed he hadn't brought flowers, but she didn't blame him. The last time he'd brought her flowers she hadn't managed to choke out a 'yes, I'll go to the dance with you'.

_Things will be okay, _Kari told herself as another horrible silence settled over them. They weren't even halfway down the stairs yet! How was she going to get through this night? Everything she had piled up in her mind to talk to him about was forgotten. Oh God.

So Kari pretended to enjoy the silence, like it was a comfortable friends thing.

It wasn't.

Dread built up again.

* * *

The whole walk to the hall had been silent, except for TK's few attempts at conversation, and Kari's sad replies. So the two of them had just decided to stay quiet. At one point TK had grasped her hand in his between them, but that was it. Now it seemed like nothing compared to Matt's ki—

Kari walked into the darkness of a large room. She blinked, trying to adjust to the sudden change of light. There were a few colored lights twirling around across the ceiling, walls, and floors. At the far end she could see a stage with instruments set up. Her heart pounded.

"Wow, there's lots of people here," said TK, stating the obvious. But Kari grasped onto that one sentence like it was a lifesaver.

"Yes! Aren't there? Wow, I wonder if there's going to be room to dance. And it's only like, 7:15!" The fake enthusiasm was so obvious, she was surprised TK didn't frown at her. But he seemed to want to believe her, and nodded agreeably. Kari let out a small breath of air.

It was true. The room was full of mulling people, some she recognized from classes and in the halls, and others she'd never noticed before. There was a mixture of clothes, from casual to semi-casual to a little over the top, but it was so nice to see everyone here. She had been nervous about being the only one to show up, or something.

"I bet it's cause Matt's band is here," TK told her, leading her over to a wall where was some space to sit on chairs someone had set up. "You know? His band is really popular."

Kari snorted. "His band, or him?" Bitterness creeped into her tone. She bit her lip, feeling foolish again. Wasn't she supposed to be forgetting him?

TK gave her a funny look. "Both, I guess. Haven't you seen all his groupies? I bet he has no time for other girls." He paused long enough for Kari to let these words sink in. "Poor guy."

Kari glared over at him. "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked before thinking. TK had never been the type to… hide his meaning behind other words, and that's clearly what he was doing. Kari felt her stomach clench at the thought that TK had noticed her eyes straying to Matt everytime he was around, or the way she never stopped talking about him, or—

"I dunno. I mean what I say," TK replied evenly, not the least bit flustered. That irked Kari even more. Since when did TK grow so cool and offish?

"Well maybe Matt doesn't like groupies," muttered Kari. Augh, why couldn't she just drop it?

TK looked over at her with a hurt expression; Kari was so surprised she couldn't say anything to cover up the meaning of her words. "TK," she finally sputtered out instead, in a tone that sounded like 'please understand'. But he didn't respond, only looked out on the empty floor.

Kari fidgeted in her seat, trying to find the right words to say, when TK suddenly looked her way and gave her a large grin, reminiscent of the old TK. "Want to dance when the music starts?" he asked, and Kari gave him a small smile back. Had he just done what she usually did? Stuff whatever it was he wanted to say deep down inside of him and paste on a smile? That wasn't comforting.

"Of course," was her reply.

At that moment there was a noise in the back. Kari looked over to the stage to see Matt's band stepping up to their places. She felt her heart thud in her chest as she saw Matt adjusting his mic, bass strapped on over his shoulder. He looked good. _Really _good. Better than at school, and better than at home when he wore his uniform shirt rolled up to his sleeves and tie loosened. He was in his own clothes, and Kari forgot how nice he looked in them. She noticed his hair and felt a blush take over her face like a flame, in an instant. The feeling of running her fingers through that hair was just…

The crowd was gathering around the stage, cheering at the Wolves. The drummer was waving his drumsticks in the air as a gesture of 'hello', and the guitarist was fiddling around with his instrument, tuning it, too absorbed in his preparation to notice the crowd. It was that moment Kari remembered that she wasn't the only girl who was a fan of Matt. He was grinning down at the people below him, a real smile, one that showed that he was excited to be playing, happy to be up on that stage. She knew that once he started playing his smile would slip back into a glamorous sort of smirk, one meant to make girls swoon. She knew it, and so she revelled in the grin of the moment.

"…Ri? Kari?" A hand shook her shoulder roughly, and she snapped out of it.

"Oh, sorry TK! I was just watching the flood of people. This means the music is gonna start soon, right?" She stood up and pulled a confused looking TK to his feet.

"Uh—yea…"

"Oh hey, look! There's everyone!" She pointed her finger near the front of the crowd, spotting their friends. "Want to go join them?" There was no way she'd dance to fast music alone with TK. She didn't know what to do! The jittering of her nerves started again. Images of her flapping awkwardly around the dance floor attacked her mind.

_No, no… it's just a dance! Stay calm! _And so she did, laughing with TK and dragging him through the crowd. For a moment it seemed like old times, as TK squawked and tried to slow her down, advising her to go around the crowd of kids. But she ignored him, feeling invigorated and ploughed straight through.

Matt was adjusting his bass as Kari risked one glance up. She saw his eyes scan the crowd, and for a brief second their eyes locked. She stopped, TK nearly running into her. He greeted their friends, but Kari was still looking up at Matt. He was the first to break eye contact, finally looking back down at his bass. His face wasn't pink, like Kari's was. Another thing that wasn't fair.

The Wolves started out with a strong bass riff, building on it with intense guitar wailing and catchy drumbeats. Before Kari knew what was happening, people around her were jumping up and down, cheering and fist pumping into the air. Even TK was getting into it, shouting, "that's my brother! My _BROTHER_!"

Kari would have started laughing if the music wasn't so infectious. She herself felt the need to jump up and down, to cheer and whoop and maybe shake her head a few times like the kids around her seemed to be doing. For a moment, Kari forgot she was near the front, that Matt was right in front of her, preparing himself to sing out into the crowd. For a moment she didn't think 'would Matt like this' or 'what would Matt think of this?' She was herself, and she was feeling the adrenaline pump through her veins, because it was so rare to have a moment like this: a moment where she could feel happy and excited and not care about boys. She was dancing (or something), and she was having _fun. _Boys be damned. Kari was going to enjoy this night.

* * *

It was a slow song. Kari might have been going crazy, but she thought she heard the structure of a waltz deep in the bones of the song. But she could have been imagining things.

Everyone else had paired up, doing exactly as Matt had told her they would: the girls wrapped their arms around the boy's necks, and the boys held them close with their hands on their hips. Kari stared, aghast. What about the waltz? Frantically she glanced up at Matt, for one second wishing stupidly he'd come down and waltz with her, and then finally her night would be magical. But of course he was busy singing the lyrics to the song. They were soothing, so low his voice sounded husky. Hearing it alone made Kari embarrassed.

Before she could react TK had asked if she wanted to dance. Of course she said yes, and he pulled her close, hands on her hips. Kari stiffened, feeling conscious and awkward. Slowly, carefully, she placed her hands around TK's neck, resting on his shoulders. He smiled down at her; Kari returned it. But somehow, it just didn't feel… right.

They swayed to the music, and Kari felt herself caught and getting wedged tighter and tighter between two walls. Funny, how the boy she loved (oh God love was that even what she was feeling NO don't think about it!) and the boy she was _supposed _to love surrounded her at the moment, tingling her senses. But TK was there, in front of her, watching her, and it would have been the perfect moment for a kiss. The thought struck her, and instead of pleasing her it was horrifying. Embarrassing. No, she did NOT want to be kissing both Ishida boys in the course of a few days!

"What do you think about waltzing?" she blurted out. TK quirked an eyebrow at her, a smile on his face. But he answered.

"Uh… it's a dance."

Well, duh. "What do you think? Should we waltz right now?"

They were still swaying, but TK's expression was dumbstruck at her words. Then he started giggling. "Waltz? At a dance?" More laughing. Kari felt heat rush up her neck. "C'mon, Kari. Waltzing is for old people. You don't waltz at a dance."

She felt her heart deflate, just a little. "So you don't like it," was her toneless statement. Kari refused to look at his face, keeping her eyes trained on his chest. All the while, Matt's soft voice sang in the background.

"Well… Kari, what's the big deal? A waltz is a waltz. I didn't even know you knew how to do it. _I _don't."

"Well I do." At this moment, Kari felt the gap between TK and her grow even more. "And I _like _it."

TK made a noise like he was going to say something, but at that moment the guitar plucked out the last chord of the song, letting it reverberate throughout the room. Clapping started, and restless chatter broke out after the romantic song. Kari took this chance to pull away, feeling how sweaty her hands were and thank God she was finally done dancing. "I'm gonna go cool off for a minute," she explained hurriedly, and turned around to walk outside of the side door of the building, which was stopped open to let in cool air. She slipped outside, wanting just a moment of peace.

TK still stood on the dance floor, hands hanging uselessly at his sides. Matt's voice spoke into the mic. "And that's it for the Wolves. Thank you! Goodnight!"

* * *

Kari could still hear cheering, although she'd heard Matt telling them goodbye several minutes ago. She sat on a bench outside, holding her legs out in the air, inspecting her feet that she had slid into sandals last minute. She hadn't even painted her toenails. At this thought she wiggled her toes, trying desperately to forget that TK was inside the building, waiting for her. No wonder she didn't go out much.

A door behind her swung open, and heard someone talking on a phone. "Yea… Okay… Huh—well, sure. Fine. Yea. It's fine. Yea. Be home later. Gotcha. Yes, Dad. …I'm at my concert right now. Remember? I was playing at—" Matt stopped right in front of Kari. He clearly hadn't noticed her sitting casually on the bench, but must have caught her last second in the corner of his vision. Kari tried to look innocent, but a thrill went up her spine. She waved cheerfully at him. After a moment Matt gave her a half-hearted wave back, still talking on the phone. He cupped a hand around his one ear as he tried to hear his dad on the phone.

"No Dad, I'm not partying. Huh. Yea. Look, Kari's here and I'm gonna—Kari, Dad. Tai's little sister." He gave her an exasperated look that read 'sorry', but Kari waved it away with her hand like she didn't care that Matt's dad didn't have the slightest clue who she was. "Okay. Yea. Bye. No, I'm good. I'll eat when I get home. Okay. Bye." With a heavy sigh he clicked his phone shut and after a moment of not moving, turned around to sit on the bench beside Kari, sliding his guitar case off of his back last second and leaning it against his knee. "Wow, you call your dad to tell him one thing and he never stops complaining." He cracked open an eye and finally looked over at her. Kari noticed when he rested his elbows on his thighs, immediately falling into a relaxed position. This was good. It almost seemed like they hadn't been frostily greeting each other regularly over the last few days.

"Yea… parents," she replied with a giggle that sounded horribly off. Why had he even sat down? Kari had been happy at first, but now she was regretting it. All that would happen would be awkward silence. Good grief, they hadn't even been together! It wasn't like he broke up with her. Stay positive, she told herself. That's what she was best at. Staying happy. Staying happy.

"Great playing!" she chirped sincerely. "I've never seen you guys play before, so seeing the crowd swarm was a bit… strange." She had to laugh.

"Thanks," he said warmly to her first statement. It threw her off, but then he kept talking, looking up at the darkening sky. "I know, isn't it weird? But at the same time, it's just… great." A dreamy smile took over his face, an echo of the real thing that he had worn at the beginning of the set.

"Yea," Kari said agreeably. The two fell into silence, and at first Kari was comfortable with it, until it was stretching on for far too long, and Matt still had his eyes closed, and his brow was furrowed like he was thinking hard, and Kari had no idea what to say. _I must really be cursed to mess up with both brothers, _she thought dryly, but Matt's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"I'm sorry."

It was a shock. She stared over at him. Kari knew how rare it was for Matt to apologize. He'd already said sorry to her several times, but she thought he'd passed all that; like it had been a phase or something: 'be nice to the poor young girl who cried a lot' or some such. But now he was looking earnestly over at her, all coolness of expression gone. Kari had no idea what to say.

"I—uh—" She couldn't get over the determined set of his mouth, how frustrated but nervous he looked. Had _she _caused those expressions? Really? "F—For what?" Kari finally managed to splutter out.

"For how I handled that thing in the park," he said slowly, as if he were thinking about what he was going to say before every word. Matt was still watching her; it unnerved Kari. "I mean, clearly it wasn't the best route—"

"No, no. It's fine," Kari interjected. "You handled it like you should have, trust me. It was better than just… not acknowledging it." Matt looked perplexed.

"That's frighteningly… mature," he finally said with a chuckle. Kari had to smile.

"Well, I'm always trying to be the adult," she said wryly, speaking her feelings on the matter for the first time. "Erm, sorry," she added quickly. No one would care about how she felt on growing up too quickly.

"It's all right," Matt replied, but he looked worried. Kari felt flustered once again. "So, um, the dance…" She couldn't think of any adjective that would describe it, so she fell silent. Matt gave her a flicker of a glance, but then looked away, up at the sky.

"You and TK seemed to be enjoying yourselves, huh?" he asked nonchalantly. Kari's face flamed up.

"Oh man, did you see me do the lame dancing?" she cried. _Matt was watching me, Matt noticed me, Matt was watching me!_

"Yup," chuckled Matt. "What about the waltzing, Kari?" he asked in a mock pleading voice.

Kari had never seen this side of Matt. Maybe it was because he was just so relieved to get his apology off his chest. But whatever it was, Kari liked it. "I asked TK if we could waltz, but he laughed at me!" She crossed her arms stubbornly. "So much for the lessons."

"Yea, well, they weren't all that bad." Matt seemed to have caught the jabbering bug from Kari. They both froze, and Kari saw his eyes flicker up to her hair, and she just remembered she had let it dry naturally. Oh, irony.

"So… I don't know… what to do." What? What was she saying?

Matt seemed relieved she was switching the topic. "About what?" he asked kindly.

"About… TK." There, it was said. _Finally. _Matt paled slightly at her words, but she kept going. "I mean, he's acting sweet and almost normal, but it's making me feel so guilty! I feel worse and worse, and more and more evil, and he's just sitting there smiling so sweetly and I'm feeling like the worst person in the _world!_" It had been bothering her so much that Kari cried it all out in an anguished rush, glad to finally talk about it. "It's driving me _crazy! _I don't know what to do, or what to say, and sometimes I feel like I have to tell him but then—" She lifted up her hands into some sort of helpless gesture, letting them fall back into her lap lifelessly. "But then I just chicken out."

Silence. More silence. Kari peeked over at Matt, almost afraid to see his reaction.

* * *

Matt was sort of glad. Well, not _glad _exactly, but… relieved. He, too, had been worrying about TK, and about Kari's ability to lie and keep a secret. It was obvious it was scaring her. She just wasn't built for keeping secrets and building walls around something that had clearly shaken her life up a bit. But Matt knew that this might be their only chance to talk about it, to sort out what they should do about TK.

Of course, that didn't mean it was going to be completely comfortable. He avoided her gaze, and he knew she was looking at anything but him, as well. "I think that… well… we should tell…" He let his words drift. It was obvious that Kari was going to burst soon. The thought of telling TK sickened him, though. Things would be ruined between the dream couple. Matt knew his brother well enough to see that he wouldn't take this lightly. He might stay with Kari, but every second he'd be thinking about it, comparing it, wondering why Matt and Kari had made out in the time span of a week, whereas he and Kari had been 'together' for nearly their whole lives and hadn't had so much as a simple kiss.

"Really?" she whispered softly, drawing Matt back into their conversation. "I was hoping you'd say we shouldn't." He noticed she couldn't even bring herself to laugh; she looked so pale and scared.

"Hey, hey, calm down," Matt urged her quietly, scooting over closer to her, but not too close. "Weren't you saying you two were done… a long time ago?"

She looked surprised that he would remember such a faraway conversation, when really it hadn't been too long ago. "Well… I guess…" But he knew what she meant. They had been done _then_, but guilt had stepped in and she had amended things with him. And now, if she broke his heart a second time, she would feel too horrible. Kari was just too empathetic.

"When you get yourself into these situations, it's best to learn how to step back, look at it from a different point of view, and then deal with it," Matt advised her carefully. It must not have been careful enough, because she glared at him.

"I didn't 'get myself into this situation', if I remember correctly _you _kissed _me_." There. Bringing it up again and stabbing him like that always stunned him.

"Hey, hey," he muttered, holding up his hands like an innocent man caught. "We both know that, now let's not bother with it again." Hopefully. Remembering the kiss made him feel queasy and happy at the same time. He didn't like that combination, especially when it concerned little Kari… who—at the moment—didn't look so little.

_No! No! Stop! _He told himself, and desperately looked away from her, to the ground, to the sky. "He's gonna wonder where you are," Matt finally said.

"Yea, well, he can wait," Kari muttered uncharacteristically. "I need to figure out what I'm doing. If I go back in there now I'll just explode." Her fists were clenched in her lap, and Matt was tempted to hold them, or to hug her, or ease her pain somehow. She was so young, and it was just…

_Wait. I'm in on this mess too, _he reminded himself, and mentally slapped himself for getting sentimental over _Kari._

"I still think we should tell him. Sometime. He'll hate us—" the words made Kari look fearful "—but it's better than lying." Quiet. "You of all people know that, Kari."

"Arrrrgh! I know! I _know! _I get it, I get that it's horrible!" She threw her hands up in the air and then hid her face in her palms, leaning over like she was feeling sick. "It's horrible. I just don't want to deal with it anymore," she mumbled. Matt felt something pull at his heartstrings. He got just an inch or two closer and patted her back awkwardly, struggling to be comforting but not _too _comforting.

"The sooner we tell him, the sooner it's done."

She didn't reply, but he could tell that she was breathing heavily, struggling to hide whatever emotion was taking over at the moment. Matt leaned forward into a more comfortable position, still patting her back, when he noticed her hair. Again. Just dangling there, all wavy and dry (this time) and it reminded him of the kiss. The feelings overtook him again, those potent emotions that blinded him. Hesitantly, he reached his hand over from her back and toward the back of her head. She was still leaning over her knees, oblivious to his hand that hovered over her head. Taking a leap, and knowing it might make things worse (but it might also make things better), he rested his hand carefully on her head. He felt her hair, soft under his skin. Then, he stroked it lightly; making sure to keep his hand under control so that it didn't start to tremble or something stupid.

Kari had stiffened under his touch, but like a puppy responding to a rub she soon relaxed. Her breathing grew more even, and Matt couldn't help but feel the small smile that was on his face as he leaned forward, stroking the hair of the poor girl beside him. It was nice, being able to calm someone down rather than make them angry or sad or confused. This whole moment was… nice.

"Kari? Kari, are you—" TK was at the door, TK was looking outside, and TK saw Matt leaning over Kari, stroking her hair as her face was concealed in her hands, leaning over, hidden. He froze in the door, speechless with horror.

Matt saw him, and heard him, and TK only saw his hand on Kari's head for a second, two seconds at the most. In an instant his hands were gone, and he was standing up with his guitar slung on his back. Kari was sitting straight, face composed into a mixture of confusion and trying to look normal, hands clenched into tiny fists in her lap.

"What—What—"

"Teeks, have you abandoned your girlfriend again for some harder partying?" Matt teased, feeling his insides roll as he struggled for something normal, something to take the heat off of him. Good Lord, what horrible timing. Now he remembered why he wasn't too keen on telling TK. If he only saw him stroking her hair, then…

TK looked horrified. Confused. Apprehensive. Good. Maybe he didn't believe what he'd seen yet. Like he didn't _want _to believe he'd just seen his older brother and his somewhat-girlfriend in an intimate moment the two of them had probably rarely shared. "No—I—I was waiting…" TK's confused face looked away from Matt and toward Kari, as if hoping for some kind of answer.

"I wasn't feeling well," Kari spoke in a quiet voice, but it was calm. Matt stared at her, once again surprised at how when she needed to, Kari lied rather nicely. "Matt was just leaving through the back door and saw me here…" She suddenly paled, and Matt figured she had probably just been gripped by fear of lying or something, so he quickly interjected.

"And you know how Mom always used to pat our hands when we were feeling sick, right? So I just—" Matt made an awkward patting motion in the air, although it had been nothing like patting. It had been completely different. "It seemed to be the right thing to do."

"Oh…" TK's eyes flickered between them, thinking. Matt was tense. Too tense. He was just about to say something to lighten the mood (or try to) when TK finally looked over at Kari. "Are you feeling okay now?"

Matt could have gasped in relief, but didn't want to ruin it now. "I'm… no, not so much," Kari replied softly, and even Matt could have believed she was indeed feeling ill. He looked away suddenly; worried that TK would look over at him and see him inspecting Kari. As if he wasn't in enough trouble.

"Well, I guess I can take you home." He seemed a bit relieved. Matt could see that neither of them was really comfortable with the situation.

"You're such a hero, Teeks," Matt congratulated him with a clap on the shoulder from behind. TK twitched and looked over at him, not saying anything. Matt could understand the glare well enough, though. 'The next time I see you, we're talking about what the hell just happened' seemed to be written all over his face. Just great. As if Matt wanted to deal with more of TK's whining and complaining.

"Well, I guess I'll see you two later," Matt said, wondering if it would be together or apart the next time he really did meet up with them. Somehow he couldn't help the thrill of wonder that crept through him. It wasn't good to feel like this, but who was he to deny what he felt? Well, he would try, but not for long.

"Bye," Kari called out, and before anyone could see what she was doing she had stood up and tugged on Matt's sleeve. He paused, looking back at her and trying to keep his face calm. He could sense TK glowering to the side.

"What?" asked Matt, ignoring her face, which looked so cute and confused at the moment.

"I—ah—thanks." And then she dropped his sleeve, turning back to TK who wrapped an arm around her shoulders almost protectively, as if he could shield Matt out. Matt resisted a derisive snort of laughter and instead turned away, clutching onto his guitar bag as if it were the only thing he had left to hold onto.

* * *

Kari hadn't missed the tension between the brothers. But she couldn't truly acknowledge that something like jealousy was passing through them, especially over _her! _So she let TK walk her home, although it was mostly silent. TK didn't seem mad, but he didn't seem inclined to chat, either. Kari, on the other hand, couldn't stop thinking about Matt's hand stroking her hair. It had calmed her down like a mother with a crying child. Ridiculous, really, but it amazed her that Matt still had the ability to swing her off course like that at the littlest touch. Chalk another one up for the unfair board.

And although this dance—this dance, which Kari had been waiting for for weeks—didn't climax into some romantic fantasy like she had been dreaming, it hadn't been a total failure. She had somewhat fixed things with Matt. They were now able to have a normal conversation, and… well, it _seemed _like Matt had made some sort of move or something? Who knew what would have happened if TK hadn't come out?

So nothing much had come out of the dance except for a better understanding between Matt and Kari. And on Kari's end, she realized that was all she had really been hoping for.


	12. Lesson 12: Sometimes Jealousy Controls

**A/N: **Don't think of this chapter as OOC. I like to think that Kari is not 100 percent cute little girl, but that BECAUSE she's a girl sometimes she's ruled by her emotions and that no, she doesn't think everything through. That's my take on her, so please enjoy! This is where things start rolling...

Same with Matt. He's stubborn, not stupid.

_**Beating Hearts**_

_Chapter 12_

* * *

**If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise. – Robert Fritz**

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* * *

**

Kari thought the right thing to do was spend more time with TK. After all, if things clearly weren't going to work with her and Matt, what was the point?

But she felt like she had been saying this the whole time, and yet, two weeks after the dance everything felt the same. School was just as stressful, sometimes she was lonely, TK was growing both distant and clingier at the same time, and Matt was still… Matt.

But he was Matt who had stroked her hair.

Matt who had comforted her.

Matt who had worried about her.

_No! _Kari commanded mentally as she walked home from school on a chilly Tuesday afternoon. It was a bit later than usual as she had stopped at the library to look up some things on a project she had to do in English.

She hadn't gone alone.

"Kari! Wait up!" TK's voice wafted past her. She unwillingly slowed her fast pace to a slower one. TK appeared beside her, a confused smile on his face. "I was only tying my shoelace," he said, somewhat exasperated.

"Sorry," apologized Kari, and she looked over at him with a smile. Trying to mean it. Really.

So she had done it. Started to hang out with TK more and more. Going over to his apartment to work on homework, or walking home with him, or helping him run errands for his mom. He seemed to like it. Then again, Kari seemed to as well when she really didn't. Sometimes when she caught a sidelong glance of TK his serene face looked almost like that of Matt when he sang a love song in front of a crowd. Or sometimes TK would smirk down at her, and Kari would freeze in her steps because for an instant she had thought Matt was walking beside her, carrying her books.

Huh. So much for that.

"TK, STOP FOLLOWING ME!" was what she wanted to shout, but he wasn't following her. She had invited him to help with her project, as TK was rather skilled at English. So why did it _feel _like he was tagging along everytime she was with him?

"Coming over?" she asked casually, knowing it was what he wanted to hear, but keeping her fingers crossed for a 'no' in her pockets.

"If it's okay," TK suggested demurely, which was obviously a 'yes'. Kari suppressed a sigh.

"My mom'll be ecstatic," she told him. It was true. Her parents were all over TK like he was the greatest thing that existed.

"Well, I have a few charms," TK admitted. Kari couldn't help but smile just a little, but only because she was thinking of Matt and all his dozens of charms.

* * *

"Stop zoning out. I'm kicking your ass and I'm starting to wonder why." A familiar toe poked at the back of Matt's head.

"Ow," he grunted, sitting in his familiar spot on the floor in front of the television, whereas Tai was sprawled on the sofa beside him. "I think it's because my eyes are burning," Matt admitted, dropping the controller on the floor and flopping backwards so he was lying on his back, eyes staring up at the ceiling. He closed them, seeing nothing but black and a few winking colors behind his lids. "Why don't you ever come over to my house?" he asked suddenly, thinking of how Kari should appear any second now and how he would want to avoid her entirely. Yes, they had reached a new sort of understanding… on Kari's level, anyway. She chatted amiably to him everytime they met in the hall or at TK's apartment or at her own, but Matt felt completely different. He answered in his usual voice, managed to keep up a conversation with her. But something felt different. Something he knew was wrong, but felt right.

"Cause you don't have video games, that's why."

"Yes I do," Matt argued, stung.

"Yea, like, a Super Nintendo. C'mon Matt." Tai chuckled. Matt glowered at him playfully.

"At least I can cook." As if it was some sort retort that suited the argument. It always was with Tai though. He let out a mock gasp of horror and shook his controller at Matt's face.

"Be warned boy, I might just cook up a plan of my own." He giggled to himself like it was a brilliant comeback, but Matt just stared at him blankly, rolling onto his side so he was propped up on one elbow.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked bluntly. Tai looked over at him, the small smile fading slowly from his face. With a quick glance in the direction of the front door, Tai sat up straight, a conspiratorial look on his face.

"You know… how you…" He fell silent, his eyes dropping to look at his controller and then finally back up at his best friend. "How you're so… _indecisive._" Tai wasn't smiling anymore.

Matt froze at his words, trying desperately to scramble up some kind of remark while at the same time keeping the calm look on his face. "Tai. What the hell. Are you talking about?" Matt repeated, this time more serious—darker.

Tai's brow was furrowed, as if he was concentrating deeply. When he opened his mouth to reply, and Matt held his breath, the front doorknob jiggled. Then a key turning in the lock. Matt knew the panic-stricken look had taken over his features because Tai gave him a knowing look. He quickly smoothed his face over, turning away from Tai, truly shaken. What the hell? _What the hell?_

Before he had any more time to think on it, he heard his brother's voice murmuring something quietly. Then a soft giggle. He turned the corner abruptly to see TK standing in the foyer with Kari, dropping his bag to the side and tucking it up beside the rack of shoes. He looked up at the sound of Matt running down the hall. He smiled at him.

"Oh, hey Matt."

Matt was still struggling with whatever had just happened with Tai. Why had he come here again? His gaze flickered over to Kari, who was watching him with surprise. A critical expression was on her face. She looked just like her damn brother had, and that's what caused him to stop floundering like a fish.

"Hey Teeks. Kari."

"Hi Matt," she greeted softly, and then turned away to slip her shoes off. Oh. So she wasn't so talkative with TK around?

Tai walked in behind him. Matt heard his footsteps and nearly hit the roof when he jumped. "Oh. Tai. Scared me." He was jumpy. He knew everyone was watching him, like he had lost his mind or something. "Uh, I'm gonna go get some air." With a weird floppy gesture of his hands he nearly ran to the balcony, where he leaned against the railing and let out a huge breath of air, struggling to think.

Okay. So what. He had tried to hide what he had recently been feeling. You know, pity for the little girl, then a weird sort of affection that grew. It would die; he was graduating that year. So what. Tai, the strangely overprotective brother who knew-things-and-yet-acted-like-he-didn't, seemed to know what was going through Matt's head. So what.

So what. So what. _So what? _

"DAMMIT!" Matt cried, pulling at his hair in a strange show of frustration. It was rare that it happened, but ever since these thoughts, these feelings, had been burrowing deep into him he hadn't been able to stop. Throwing a plate. Feeling jealous of his younger brother. Then what? Now what? What was possibly left for Matt to do but wallow, think, and stress out over it?

It was obvious Kari had made her choice.

But Matt had made his first. And now he would have to stick with it.

* * *

"Did you hear?"

"What?"

"_No way._"

"Omigoooood, how is that fair!?"

"She's not so great when you look at her."

"Short. Chubby."

"Why did he pick her?"

"Have they even spoken before?"

"Lucky dude. She's hot."

"Man I know. How is he so lucky?"

Kari had heard it all day, but no one would say whom it was about. All day she had heard the same gossip circulating, and it was driving her crazy. Not that she was much of a gossip-monger, but sometimes a girl wanted to know. Especially when _everyone _knew but her!

She saw TK when she left her class before lunch, and hurriedly ran over to him in the busy hall. He usually knew what was going on, gossip-wise… for some reason.

"Hey TK, do you know what everyone's talking about?" Kari asked quickly. She hadn't had any classes with her other friends that morning, and she was dying.

TK looked over at her, surprised, but a huge grin on his face all the same. "You haven't heard?"

Kari was scared of the smile. "No," she replied warily. "Heard what, exactly?"

TK looped an arm easily over Kari's shoulders. "Matt's found a girlfriend!"

Kari's feet nearly tripped on themselves, but she managed to keep herself upright. "Oh really," she replied weakly. "That's not very new."

TK was still smiling as they made their way down the hall. Kari didn't like the feel of his arm on her shoulders. She felt squashed, forced against him. "Yea, well, he's been talking about her for a few days."

Kari mouthed, 'a few days?', but TK didn't see it. "I think that's why he looked so scared when we were at your place a few days ago. We'd probably caught him in the act of talking about her." He chuckled.

Kari felt sick.

She didn't realize until after lunch that a couple they had passed, hand in hand, had been Matt and his new girlfriend.

* * *

Holding hands wasn't all they did. Going to school the next day Matt had decided to find a girl. Maybe not a girl_friend_, but to prove he could move on. Like he wasn't hung up on that amazing kiss he'd had with little Kari. Because he wasn't.

So he remembered that girl who had invited him to the party after the dance (that he'd never gone to) and had hunted her down. One thing led to another, and pretty soon they were making out in a janitor's closet.

And, well, that was that.

She—Anne—was surprisingly clingy. He continued to remind her he wasn't ready for commitment or for a relationship, but she always complained that he never held her hand or talked to her very much. Geez, it had only been, like, four days since they had hooked up!

"Matt? Matt? Omigod, are you listening?"

"Yea," he replied, zoned out as he watched Kari and TK across the cafeteria snuggling up beside each other at the table. Hadn't she said they were over? Hadn't she said that she didn't like him anymore? So what the hell was this?

"—And then she said that my party was _lame! _Can you believe that?" Anne flipped her raven-black hair behind a shoulder, puckering her tiny lips into what was supposed to be a pout. "You should've come."

"It was two weeks ago," reminded Matt. "Ages ago."

"Yea, well. Hey, when's your band playing their next gig?"

Matt had been a bit absent-minded when it came to the band as of late. "I dunno. The guys sort of want a break."

Anne stared at him from across the table. He kept his eyes firmly trained on the droopy lettuce of his salad that sat before him. God, he was irritated with her. Maybe he should just break it off. It had happened before. It was a scandal for a few hours, and then all the girls were hounding his attention again. It wouldn't be that big of a deal…

"Agh, you're not even listening to me!" With a growl she stood up and stomped away, her tray of food still sitting where she had left it. Matt stared at the empty spot listlessly. What had been the point of getting a girlfriend again? To prove his maturity? Shooting another dark glance toward TK and Kari—who were chatting with their group of friends—he realized that he wasn't being very mature at all.

Too scared to go over to Tai's again—although his best friend was acting normal again—Matt wandered around town, heading toward his apartment in a zigzag pattern through the streets. It was the best way to think, dodging between the bustling crowds, letting his mind zone out to the honking of cars and the drones of all sorts of traffic.

_What is Kari to me? _He asked himself, over and over. But he couldn't think of an answer, and he took that as a bad sign.

* * *

Three days later and Kari was sick of it. Sick of seeing Matt in the halls holding hands with his girlfriend, sick of seeing them talk and him smile and talking in that low voice he never used around her. Sometimes he would glance her way, and she'd feel embarrassed and wonder if he even remembered that day in the hall she'd cried and cried and closed her eyes, refusing to look at him. That had been the same girl he'd talked to that day, she remembered. So what? Was she privileged to hear that deep voice? It made her mad.

So she did was she could to fight back. Kari realized it, but didn't fully acknowledge that it was a battle of wills. After all, she didn't think Matt cared about her. But what they were doing? Something different and completely out of her league.

TK would throw his arm around her; Matt would kiss his girlfriend on the head. Kari would hold hands with TK and lean her head on his shoulder; Matt would pull Anne toward him and she'd squeal and he'd… agh, Kari didn't even want to think of it.

It was a silent fight between them, completely unacknowledged. Matt said nothing about his brother, and Kari said nothing about his girlfriend. He never came to her house, and Kari never visited TK if she knew Matt was over. Stranger still, Matt and TK wouldn't even look at each other in the halls, as if they only visited each other out of family necessity or something. TK spoke as if he didn't care for Matt anymore. Even Tai was acting strange. Things were whirling out of control around Kari and there was no way she could stop it.

Maybe it was stress. Maybe it was irritation. Or maybe it was pure, untrained fury when she was walking down the hall—with TK—and saw Anne pushed up against the lockers by none other than Matt. He had stolen a chance for public make out, and Kari was mortified to see Matt kiss this girl with the same lips he'd kissed her with. And right now he seemed more… fiery. More wild. It made her remember running her hands through his hair, and his gentle little moan and her mews of pleasure. Blushing with embarrassment for him and her and in memory of the kiss, her mind started to work in a new way. Something not even he could beat in their battle, because it would be something totally unforeseeable and shocking.

"Eugh, Matt," TK muttered under his breath, averting his eyes. Kari ignored him.

She slowed down in the hall, clinging onto TK's arm. Watching Matt like a hawk while trying to ignore his tongue in her mouth, she waited until they stepped apart for a second of air. In that second he looked around, as if he had been expecting her to be there, watching him kiss that girl. Kari wondered if it was such a coincidence these things kept happening around her.

But before she dwelled anymore on the subject, Kari sealed her doom only to feel the pleasure of seeing the shock—and jealousy?—in Matt's eyes. Whirling TK around to face her, he let out a little squawk of surprise—but was cut off as Kari stood up on tiptoes and kissed him full on the mouth.

It would have been her first kiss. It _was _her first kiss with TK, whom she thought it would be with for almost her whole childhood. TK responded, but only lightly, and then he pulled away, blushing red and muttering something like, "Kari—Kari, we're in the middle of a hall…"

"I know," Kari replied, shrugging and feeling her heart sink in her chest. "I just wanted to." Her gaze flickered to Matt.

She saw him staring at her, hands still wrapped around Anne's waist as she nibbled at his neck. But he was ignoring his girlfriend, staring at Kari and his brother as if they were some sort of alien race. There was the jealousy she had been longing for.

Kari couldn't help it. She smiled.

Ohhh yea. She was definitely the villain.

* * *

_She _smiled _at me! SMIRKED! As if she knew I was watching and thought that it was the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen! Kissing him just to make me mad! Like she knew it would make me mad. Why _am _I mad? Why is my brother such a prude? Did I start making out with Anne because I saw Kari down the hall? I can't remember!_

Matt was pacing his room, unclean for several weeks. Clothes and magazines were strewn all over the floor, along with several half-read novels and half-eaten meals. His guitar was flung onto his bed, as if he had only just been playing it. In fact, Matt hadn't played since the concert. Something in him wasn't in the right for playing.

Now he knew what it was.

"Stupid Kari!" he growled, kicking a shirt on the floor. It fluttered pathetically back toward him, getting caught on his foot. Muttering darkly to himself, he shook it off and then plopped down on his bed, narrowly avoiding landing on top of his bass.

What the hell was happening? Whoever that girl in the hall had been, it wasn't Kari. Or was it? Matt didn't know much about—

No. That was a lie. Kari had always seemed genuine around Matt when he had been teaching her how to waltz: she smiled that shy smile, giggled at his lame jokes, was polite and sweet in every way. Why did he keep thinking she was some sort of devil underneath? It was obvious now that she wasn't perfect, like he had thought she was. She had her own jealous layers, her own feelings and complex emotions. It wasn't as if Matt could take one look at her and understand what she was made of.

Just like him.

They were the same.

Well, sort of. Maybe somewhere down in the soul area, but Matt wasn't one for wanting to get to know people's souls. That was a bit too intimate for him. But still. People looked at Matt and expected a god, a beautiful boy with no emotions, gorgeous eyes, and talent beyond compare. Then people looked at Kari and expected a sweet girl, an innocent girl, as if she would never have a mean or evil thought in her life. Yes, she was sweet, and _yes _she was more or less innocent, but that didn't make her any less human.

It was rare for Matt to reach epiphanies. The only other time it had really happened was back in the Digiworld, when it had mattered. He supposed it mattered at home too, because here he was, thinking, and his whole perception of one girl had just changed.

Had she kissed TK to bother him? To make him angry? Shit. If she had, just… shit. It had worked, and that was what Matt was really concerned about. Hadn't he been expecting a kiss between them for like, the last eight years? So what was the big deal? Why would she even do something like that? Unless—

Unless… she thought him dating a new girl was to get back at her? For something? Oh God. She had probably taken it in the wrong way and then turned on him. Oh man. What would TK do if he found out that his first kiss (probably) was to make his older brother jealous? If only she knew that he had only started dating again to make himself forget about her simple smile, her happiness, her…

"SHUT UP," he yelled into his pillow, but no one was home to ask what was bothering him.

* * *

It was hard for Kari to look at TK the rest of the day. He was quietly pleased, and his silent glow of happiness beside her was like stabbing pens into her arm or something. She didn't know how to explain it. It was just awkward and wrong and every step she took she felt the need to explain to him that she hadn't wanted to kiss him for months now, and that she did it to make Matt jealous, and did he _really_ like his new girlfriend, and what would TK do if she wanted to date Matt, and ARGH. She didn't know WHAT to do!

It was all one giant circle, always repeating the same stuff: she and Matt would get close, get scared, pull apart; they would ignore each other; something would bring them together; and then they would feel awkward and horrible and guilty all over again.

Well Kari was sick of feeling guilty. She didn't think that what she felt, the emotions she had should make her feel guilty. Wasn't love—oh god, _love?_—wasn't it supposed to make you happy? Even if she didn't have a chance, the feelings should still make her _pleased. _But look at her. Hiding, regretting, backstabbing.

Not to mention the kiss with TK had been nothing like the one with Matt.

_Stop thinking! _She ordered herself, just in time to step into her house and see the phone leering ominously right in front of the door. Surprised, Kari stopped in the open doorway. What was the phone doing lying on the floor in front of the door? It was like it was just waiting there for her to call Matt.

"You shouldn't have done that," warned a lazy voice from in front of her. Kari looked up to see Tai leaning against the hallway wall, arms crossed and a look of… Kari didn't know how to explain his expression. Regret, or resentment, and… knowledge? It was like he knew better than she did.

Immediately she flared up. "What, stare at the phone that's lying in front of the door? What's that about anyway?" she closed the door behind her, sliding her shoes off and tucking them against the wall. "You're so weird, Tai," she muttered.

"It's cause I know you have to make a phone call," he said carelessly, shrugging his shoulders. Kari froze, not really understanding his words. What was he talking about?

"Um, what?" she asked quietly, still staring at her feet, and the phone that sat nearby. Not Tai. He sounded on the verge of a confession.

"I saw what you did in the hall today. To TK." He said it with an accusatory tone. Kari finally managed to glare at him.

"_Excuse _me for kissing him! Sorry I like a guy!" she shouted, knowing her sudden anger was irrational and would probably make him wonder. But Tai wasn't smart enough for that. She threw her bag in the corner and it slumped against the wall. She began to stomp past him.

"But not _that _guy," Tai informed her politely, as if he was telling her a fact for science class or something.

Kari stopped, and then whirled around. "What are you _talking _about?" she cried desperately, both dreading and wanting to hear his answer. Did Tai even realize how dangerously close he was getting to the real answer? "Since when do you even care about what guys I have a crush on?"

"Since one of them is my best friend!" Tai suddenly shouted, taking an angry step closer to her. "Dammit Kari, kissing TK to make Matt jealous?"

Kari could only stare at him open-mouthed. "Y—You don't know what… You have NO idea what you're talking about!" she finally burst out loudly. "Oh my God, you're making all these guesses and being totally stupid! It's not my fault Matt was making out with his girlfriend in the same hall! It's not my fault that they're brothers! It's not my fault that Matt gave me dance lessons so I could impress _TK _and you got the totally wrong impression!" Uh oh. If that wasn't an answer for him… crap. Couldn't she keep her mouth closed? Tai made her too angry too quickly, and that was why it was rare she won an argument against him.

"Get a grip, Kari! It's so obvious! If I can notice it, anyone can!" Tai whispered fiercely, now so close Kari felt caged in. She had never seen her brother this angry, not in recent memory anyway. His eyes were flashing, his face beet red with anger. "Hanging around the apartment when you think he's coming over, avoiding TK, the way you acted after Matt always left—"

"I KISSED TK!" Kari cried in exasperation, tears in her eyes. "Isn't that enough for you?! Shouldn't that be enough for _everyone? _For him? For you? For Matt?" She remembered the jealous look in his eyes, and now realized what an idiotic thing she had done. His jealousy had gotten her nowhere.

"Kari," Tai said, reaching down and gripping her wrist. She jerked away, but he held fast. His voice was restrained now, like he was trying to hold it in. "Just tell me the truth."

Keep in the tears, keep in the tears. "I can't," she whispered meekly, knowing those words alone were enough of an answer. She had sealed her fate.

Tai's expression was blank when she risked a quick glance up. "Tai, what're you going to do?" she squeaked. Tai had always been a fan of the TK and Kari relationship; it was like something he wanted for himself one day. Now that it was crumbling down right in front of him—and for his best _friend…_

Kari refused to think of it. How long had her brother known? He must be a lot smarter than he acted, she realized suddenly.

"Nothing," he replied simply, shrugging his shoulders and letting go of Kari's wrist suddenly. "But… crap, Kari." He ran a hand through his hair almost nervously. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm not," she muttered stubbornly. "It's hard to try thinking and feeling at the same time." She bit her bottom lip, finally managing a steady look at her older brother. "You can't yell it out of me," she told him suddenly. "I can't love TK anymore."

Tai's eyes widened. "Kari—oh my God… love?" he whispered hoarsely. "This is way out of my league… geez…"

"How long have you known?" she asked, her voice going wobbly again. It had been a secret she kept so tight to her chest.

"For a long time," Tai answered darkly after a moment. "And I'm sure TK isn't as clueless as you think either."

She stared at him. "No. No. TK can't know. I told myself I'd be with him, because that's what—what's supposed to happen, isn't it? I'm doing it for him," she added weakly. What a lie. But she wanted it to be true. Oh, how she wanted it to be true.

"Kari." Tai stared at her. "Who are you going to make that phone call to?"

Staring at him, Kari finally knew why the phone had been sitting in front of the door. "Tai," she began in a warning tone. He shook his head.

"You need to make this decision. If you need some pushing, that's what I'm here for." He frowned at her. "Just…" Once again, she couldn't tell what he was thinking. "Just… Kari, you know I want you with TK. I always have. But if you want… someone different…" He looked awkward.

"Well at least we don't have to worry about breaking the news to you?" she joked pathetically. Tai stared, shocked. "I was kidding," she added hurriedly. "As if Matt—" she stopped. Saying his name seemed almost forbidden now. "Tai, I don't know who to call," she told him truthfully. "I want it to be TK. But I don't… and Matt has a girlfriend, so—"

"Here's a bit of news only his best friend can give," Tai interrupted suddenly. "He doesn't like her. He only dated her because he was confused."

It was Kari's turn to stare, shocked into silence. "Ohmy… what? What has he been saying?" she asked, both worried and excited.

"Nothing," said Tai truthfully. "I just have the feeling. I guessed you right, didn't I?"

Kari glowed with embarrassment. "I—"

"Kari. Just call." He pointed to the phone. She looked, and it sat there ominously, almost comically. It was sad and scary at the same time. "Just do it."

Kari had always looked up to Tai, even though he was annoying and goofy and obnoxious. But in his rare moments, he was unpredictably wise. With a nod, she walked toward the phone and picked it up, scrolling absent-mindedly through the list of names.

_ISHIDA MATT_

_ISHIDA TK_

Which one? Which one? Would this call solve anything, or would it only make matters worse? Whatever it would do, Kari knew it was her turn to take the next step.


	13. Lesson 13: With Happiness is Grief

_**Beating Hearts**_

_Chapter 13_

* * *

**Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.** – Mark Twain

* * *

They met only down the street. Kari didn't even bother making herself look presentable. Avoiding the kitchen where Tai was smashing around with pots and pans (he had promised their parents he would cook supper for them for when they got home), she slid on her shoes and nearly ran out of the apartment, heart racing.

She had made her choice. Feeling sick and yet proud of her choice, Kari wondered what would come of it. Her happiness? Or resentment for herself?

Shoes slapping noisily on the pavement, she dodged past all the people who were idly walking home or chatting amiably with friends. It wasn't the time to relax. Heart hammering in her chest, Kari knew her face would be red with running when she arrived there. She knew her hair would be dishevelled, her school uniform still on but sloppily tied, as she always loosened the buttons and tie when she was home.

But at the moment it didn't matter.

Ten minutes later she was there, panting in front of the swing seat. One child was swinging boredly from the monkey bars near her, watching as she patted her face and tried to smooth her hair out. Kari only smiled at the kid before trying to make herself look more presentable.

"You don't have to do that," said a voice from behind. The one she had been waiting for. Whirling around, Kari smiled breathlessly and then hated herself for it.

"Hi," she managed.

"Hey," Matt said back, waving a hand at her before shoving it back in his pocket. He took in her school uniform with a quirked eyebrow. Kari ignored it.

"Tai knows. He knows I like you and that I don't like TK anymore," she burst out in one breath. Matt watched her; the only thing that showed surprise was the lift of his brow.

"Kari—"

"And I kissed him today but I felt awful after and TK seemed so happy and I knew then, I just knew that it hadn't been right and I only did it to make you mad, and I hate that I did that but I wanted you to _know,_" she added desperately, frantically, trying to prove her point. She didn't care if she seemed pathetic. "Yes, I'm younger, yes, I'm not a gorgeous girl, yes, I'm not wild and crazy and fun, but I'm me, and I thought it was good enough when you were teaching me how to dance and when you kissed me, and I just—I just—" She failed then. Kari had been doing so well, finally getting her feelings out, but at that moment she just froze up, as if she had just realized Matt was actually _listening _as she made these confessions. "And I… I don't…"

Oh, what the hell. She had already done it once today, so what did a second time matter? She took a step closer; Matt looked wary, but there was something else in his face she didn't quite understand.

"Tell… Tell your girlfriend I'm sorry. Okay?" she asked quietly, and then stood up on her tiptoes and kissed Matt daintily on the mouth. That alone was enough for her to inhale his scent, and feel his sweater underneath her hands as she used his chest to keep her standing. It was enough for her to remember their first kiss and how she hadn't been able to stop thinking about it, and that if nothing came of this meeting at least she had managed to steal one more kiss from him.

She pulled away, looking up at him expectantly. Waiting for a reaction. What she got was a complete shock.

"God, you have no idea how long I've been waiting for that," Matt breathed out, and before Kari could exclaim in astonishment he leaned down and kissed her back, far more urgently than even the first time. It was the yearning, the waiting, and the build-up.

Kari leaned in immediately, wrapping her arms around his neck as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Maybe it was. He brought her closer until they clung onto each other, the kiss intensifying as seconds passed. Kari was lost, her brain shut down, only feeling the pleasing lurch in her stomach and the heavy, hot kisses of Matt. This was what she had wanted. Not only this, but this and so much more.

"Wait—" Kari spoke quietly into the passionate kiss that had somewhat slowed its pace. She fell back on her heels, arms loosening their hold on his neck and grip in his hair to rest on his chest. She wanted to keep her palms there, to feel his racing heartbeat and know that he was feeling what she was feeling.

Matt had an agitated look on his face. "Kari, I kind of just want to kiss you right now," he said softly, but directly. Kari felt the heat on her neck, felt her pulse racing. Good grief, she never thought she'd hear those words!

"Yea, well—same here," she mumbled out, feeling awkward about this sort of thing. "But it feels wrong when you have a girlfrie—"

"Kari, you need to _understand._" Matt's hands slid up to her shoulders, where his grip tightened. He looked her straight in the eye. "I don't like her. I started—'dating'—her because I was trying…" Here he averted his eyes. "Trying not to think about you," were his final mumbled words.

Kari watched him, unable to really express what she was feeling. Surprise? Maybe. But she had always wanted this to happen, so it wasn't so shocking anymore. Happiness? Yes. Guilt? Oh yea. But it was just… indescribable.

"You called me here for a reason, right?" he finally asked, reluctantly. "So what was it?"

Kari's hands clenched into fists in the folds of his sweater at his words. She glared up at him. "Isn't it obvious?" she whispered, as if the child swinging on the monkey bars was going to tattle on them. "Isn't it obvious that I've picked you?" She knew her face was red, but she didn't care.

Matt stared at her, eyes round, face slack. "Oh" was all he said, his hands still on her shoulders. He was stooped over slightly, and still hadn't moved from that position at Kari's confession. "But TK—"

"I kissed him because you were making out with that girl," Kari admitted guiltily, not looking at him. "You must hate me. I'm horrible."

She knew he must have been mulling it over. Matt, who had always loved TK more than anyone else in the world. Matt, who would stand up for his brother before anyone. What must he think of this girl, who was toying with his little brother's feelings?

"Can we just… forget about them for now?" was his hushed answer, and she realized his mouth was suddenly right beside her ear. It tickled her hair, and she bit back a giggle. Her fingers gripped at his sweater and pulled his face toward hers, kissing him on the mouth again, feeling that familiar surge of adrenaline as he responded immediately and moaned lightly into the kiss. Kari pulled him closer, fiercely, just wanting to eat him and never get enough of him. That was how she had felt over the last few months, and now it was all surging out in one moment.

For the moment they forgot about Tai, fretting at home and tempted to call to see who was left: Matt or TK; They forgot about TK, who was sitting on his bed at home and wondering what Kari was doing and if she wanted to kiss him again; They forgot about their friends and what people would say if they ever knew little Kari and gorgeous Matt were stumbling through the park, attached at the lips as they struggled to find a place to sit or lay or _something. _

In the heated moment Kari lifted her head away, spotting an area under a tree that looked relatively okay to sit. She wasn't too sure though, because Matt was doing something amazing to her neck and she was giggling at the tickle of his lips but finding the thrill in the touch. She guided him over and they fell to the ground. Matt didn't even seem to realize, only smiling into the kiss when he felt the grass and dirt underneath them, like he knew Kari was too blinded by the kisses to figure out a proper place to make out.

Time slowed. The evening grew darker, and the child who had been on the playground had run home long ago. Things grew calmer, and soon it was only the odd slow, long kiss as they sat in the shade of the tree, Kari lying beside Matt's outstretched body, her head leaning on his shoulder. It was a lazy moment, one they knew they had to enjoy. After tonight, things wouldn't be so lethargic and slow.

If Kari didn't think about all the pressures building a wall around her because of her choice, she could almost feel at peace. Almost.

"You made it sound like your choice of who you picked defined the rest of your future," Matt finally mumbled, leaning his head down into her hair. She restrained a grin at his move, but seriously pondered his words.

"I guess it did… for me. Either way, if I had called you and you had said 'No Kari, get away from me' I still would have made my choice. That's how I see it." An image of TK flashed across her eyes; she blinked hard, trying to block it out and instead feel the weight of Matt beside her, his arm around her shoulders and holding her close to him. She snuggled closer, hiding her face in his chest as if that would help block things out.

"I never would have said that," Matt murmured, and she twitched at the feel of his hand running lazily through her hair; it sent shivers down her spine, and she resisted the sudden urge to slam him against the tree and kiss him so hard he grew dizzy.

"Well say you hadn't given me dancing lessons," Kari wondered idly, turning her face so she could see the park. "Say it had been before and you were just my older brother's friend and I was just your younger brother's… friend. Thing." Shoot.

Matt seemed to ignore the part about TK. "You were still Kari, though. Still one of 'us', right?" She knew what he meant. They had been through so much together even thought it felt like a life ago the Digiworld had been a part of their lives.

"Right," she agreed faintly. "But what did you think of me?" she asked suddenly, intrigued.

Matt's hand stopped, and he chuckled. "What is this, an interrogation?"

Kari blushed, not used to Matt's easy laughter. Usually she had to fight to get him to smile, let alone giggle. "Well I guess I _have _got you to explain your emotions more than you normally do."

Matt ruffled her hair. "Yea, you're right about that," he admitted grudgingly. "You do strange things to me, Kari."

She smiled dreamily at those words. So she had an affect on Matt. That was nice. That was so, so nice. There was no other way to explain the feeling that she meant something to Matt.

It had all happened so quickly: confessing her feelings (had that really happened? Really? Because Kari didn't think she'd ever do something like that), kissing Matt, finding out how he thought about her…

"How long have you known?" she whispered, and this time Matt took her words seriously, rather than ruffling her hair.

"Known what?" he asked, sounding no longer sleepy but much more lucid.

"How you felt…" she couldn't finish, couldn't say 'about me'.

Silence. But Kari wanted to know, and so she let her question hang, her grip in Matt's blue sweater tightening only the tiniest bit.

"I didn't," replied Matt quietly, so softly Kari could barely hear his words. But she did, and it she bit her lip to stop from hitting herself on the head. Of course. _Of course. _When did boys ever know how they felt? "I just thought it would pass…"

"Oh," she finally responded dully, realizing he had been waiting for some sort of reply from her. And here she had been, hunting him down, thinking about how to act in front of him, falling deeper and deeper in love! Well. That would show her.

"Oh come on Kari, don't be mad," he murmured into her hair, and it was hard for Kari to keep giving him the cold shoulder. Not when he did _that. _She wasn't used to Matt _wanting _to touch her, to stroke her hair, to kiss her… the thought still sent shivers up her spine.

"Mm," she muttered, making a noncommittal noise.

"Girls are smarter than boys," he wheedled. She grinned quietly, but he couldn't see her smile.

"Look at me now, though. Of course I know it's not just going to pass," he added sincerely, and that was enough for Kari. To hear him say himself that it wasn't a passing crush, that he didn't just feel some weird lust for the little girl he'd taught how to waltz was enough to make her feel her heart leap in her chest. She sat up straighter so he her nose was at Matt's chin. From underneath her eyelashes she inspected his perfect face, but then saw a little freckle beside his nose. She lifted a finger and touched it gently. He blinked and looked down at where her finger had been.

"What was that for?" he asked curiously with an arched eyebrow. Kari grew pink and shrugged.

"Just noticing that you're human," she responded stupidly, and something flashed across Matt's face that Kari couldn't interpret.

"We're both human, genius," he teased her, leaning in closer so their foreheads touched lightly. Kari felt her breathing speed up. Matt's face was inches away from hers! It would never get old, not to her. "Right?" Like asking for clarification.

"Haven't you learned that I'm also a terrible person?" Kari asked with a little smile, half serious. "That makes me human."

His expression was troubled. "But the good stuff makes you human too."

She didn't want to think about it. Not now. Like a cat she stretched her arms, resting them on his shoulders so she could wrap her arms around on the other side. "Yes, well," she murmured, half-distracted out of answering properly as Matt's face loomed closer.

"Yes, well," Matt agreed, before kissing her again.

* * *

Kari walked back into her apartment dreamily. Her parents were in the living room, watching TV. Tai was—well—who cared? Kari didn't. She was remembering the night, and how after their last kiss Kari had scrambled up, remembering how she had to be home. She'd hugged Matt, and ran home before she was tempted to go too far. Her lips were throbbing at the mere memory of their sudden and frantic kissing. Thinking about it was making her blush!

She walked quietly into her room, shutting the door and just wanting to mull over the day. Not only that, but also… worry. It was Kari's nature to worry and fret, and she had to figure out what to do about TK. And Tai. Her parents. Everyone… else. Did that night's rendezvous make them a couple? Or was that just a make-out they had both needed?

But that wasn't something she could ask Matt. She knew—from just knowing him but also from rumors—that he was a lone wolf type, and that if she needled him too much he might jolt. Not only that, but they were both sort of… involved, at the moment.

_Human nature sucks, _Kari thought moodily, but at the same time she couldn't help but thank it for preserving her happiness. Guilt would come, yes, but behind it all would be Matt, smiling and waiting just for her.

There wasn't even a minute of silence as Matt stepped into his apartment before the phone began ringing shrilly off of its hook. "Shit," Matt muttered, running to grab it without taking off his shoes. There was only one person who called Matt often, and even though they had sort of ignored each other the past few days, that wouldn't stop TK from calling him, or vice versa.

"Hey TK." Matt threw his wallet on the ground, ruffling his hair and remembering Kari's hands running through it.

"Matt." The voice sounded funny. "Kari kissed me today."

Oh dammit. Was he _seriously _calling him about this? Right now, of all times? After Matt had just had a wonderful make-out session with Kari herself? "TK, I'm not your psychologist," Matt informed him dryly.

"I—I know, it's just…" Silence. "Are you still dating Anne?"

TK's jealousy was so obvious and sad that Matt felt guilty. He would've felt guilty earlier, but now that Kari had confessed all those things… he felt one hundred times worse. He sat down on the floor, back against the wall of the hall as he wrapped his arms around his knees, phone tucked between his ear and shoulder.

"TK…" he began in a soft voice, but TK must have taken it like a warning tone.

"I know you're about to start informing me on how paranoid I am, and that she kissed me because _likes _me, right?" It was almost like he was begging Matt to agree with him.

"I—I don't know, TK," Matt lied. He knew from Kari that she just done it to make him jealous… how would TK react when he knew that most of the attention Kari had been paying him as of late was to make Matt jealous? "And no, I'm not dating Anne anymore. Why does that even matter?" he added, realizing he hadn't even turned on the lights in the apartment yet.

"It… It doesn't," TK mumbled.

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Bye."

TK's response was to hang up the phone. Matt grunted and set it back in on the hook, only to realize that people knew he was breaking up with Anne before even _she _knew. Great. Just great.

As cynical as his thoughts were on TK, Anne, Tai, and others at the moment, Kari's memory was like this little light spot in his mind. He couldn't stop thinking about how kissing her had felt so _good_, which was ridiculous because hello—it was _Kari_—but he couldn't FORCE himself not to like it. It was too difficult. And sitting under the tree, and just talking… being able to laugh and smile without feeling bitter, and not have to hide the fact that he loved her hair, and it had been… peaceful. Relaxing. Matt had been so high-strung lately that he had needed that moment.

Especially since, he had a feeling, things were going to start snowballing from here.

* * *

Kari's first reaction upon seeing Matt in the hall come school was to duck into a random classroom to her left. It was empty except for a boy sleeping at a desk in the corner, lightly snoring. Kari gave his sleeping body a panicked look, but made sure to stand close to the wall, refusing to leave the classroom.

Where had _that _come from? Matt had just been standing at the other end of the hall; talking to someone she hadn't really looked at. Because all her focus had been on _Matt _and what in the world they would say to each other if they came into contact. Was she supposed to smile at him as she passed, or wait around to talk to him herself? Were they supposed to walk around together now? Or what about telling everyone, first? What were his thoughts on that?

Kari knew she wouldn't get any of these answers without talking to Matt himself, but for some reason a strange fear was taking over. She didn't want to look in his eyes, or even near his face, for fear that she would grow embarrassed or he would just ignore her or something mortifying. Deep inside she knew Matt wouldn't do that… well… _probably _not…

"Can I help you?" The teacher had appeared back in her classroom. She gave Kari a questioning look, one that said, "I… don't know you." Kari gave a small smile, embarrassed.

"Oh no thanks, I was just—looking for someone." She turned around and escaped quickly out the doorway, shooting a quick glance down the hall.

Matt was gone.

She wasn't one hundred percent sure how she felt about this.

"Hey!" cried an exuberant voice from Kari's other side. She jumped and turned to see TK waving at her as he loomed closer. Oh, great.

"Hi TK," she replied in a slow voice, obviously lacking enthusiasm. He didn't seem to notice, and she saw his cheeks were pink. Oh dear. Her peck on his lips seemed so small in comparison to what had gone on between her and Matt… oh God. Matt.

Kari suddenly found she couldn't look in TK's face. Guilt would consume her like some sort of monster. She didn't want to break in front of TK, not now. Matt would kill her. Matt hadn't even told her where he stood on the TK situation. More importantly that that, where did _she _stand?

"Kari?"

"Sorry," she apologized quickly, risking a quick glance up at him and smiling. "What're you doing right now?"

"Well, I was gonna ask if you wanted to eat lunch outside together…"

Oh God, no. "Sure!" she replied perkily instead, wanting to slam her head into the wall beside her. Couldn't she ever say no to anyway?

She could, but not to TK. Just… not TK.

"Okay, great." He carefully leaned forward and took her hand in his, interlocking their fingers. Kari smiled, trying to keep the wobble out of it. Holding hands. It was such a sweet gesture, something small yet important that TK would, of course, realize was the right thing to do. Holding hands… Kari felt her eyes beginning to fill up with tears.

"Kari?"

"I KISSED MATT!" Kari finally yelled, stopping in their walk down the hall. A few odd students gave her curious looks, but were on their way. In a moment the hall was nearly empty, and TK was staring at her, hands between them still entwined. His grip only tightened, but just slightly.

She hadn't meant to say it. Really, really, really. She hadn't. No. That wasn't her plan. But it had just… slipped out. Kari had never been able to lie to TK. It just wasn't what it was like between them. But did she really have to _yell _it?

"Kissed… ha ha. Kari, come on. That's ridiculous." His voice was strained and several octaves higher than normal. "You didn't—you couldn't—"

"I can, and I did," Kari said shortly, extricating her hand from TK's hold. "I just… I thought you should know," she muttered stupidly. It was a selfish act, and she knew it. She just wanted this guilt to be _gone._

"You thought I should—_I _should—"

"TK, we're not even… you know." She was staring at the floor, her voice quiet. It was true, though. They weren't dating or anything.

"That doesn't matter!" TK spluttered out. "You—You _kissed _me! Just yesterday! So what, did you meet up with my _brother _after school and have a nice little—whatever?" He had exploded. Kari looked up at him, alarmed, and felt hurt at the look of disgust on his face. TK never looked like that. Never. Kari felt dirty and evil for being the one person on Earth to make him look so disappointed.

"TK, please, I just need you to listen…" she began to plead. TK's expression only darkened.

"Kari, I don't want to listen. I don't want to know what made you do it, or what you two did, or why Matt—" TK broke off, remembering his phone call to Matt. Kari didn't realize why, but he grew paler.

"But I want to tell you!" cried Kari desperately. If she didn't tell him the guilt would only grow worse, and he would tell everyone else without a good reason from her. She needed him to know! "I need to tell you," she added softly.

TK's expression was pained. Kari didn't know how to describe the horrible mixture of grief, disappointment, and frustration on his face. It made her heart ache. Tears quivered in the corners of her eyes. She had never been a strong person, and up against TK, whom she was only realizing at this moment was still very important to her, she was useless.

"TK—"

"Kari. No." He shook his head. "Matt may have listened to whatever you told him, but…" TK's eyes avoided her gaze. What was he thinking? Kari needed to know. Hate? Anger? Sadness? Was he ever going to speak to her again?

"Promise me you'll talk to me," Kari asked him urgently. "Please, TK. I need you to know this."

"Well _I _need you to—I don't know—" He was at a loss. "I need you to stay away from Matt!" He burst out. "_And _me!" He gave her one last look, and Kari had to look away. Why was her life suddenly twisting into something so painfully dramatic? But she couldn't stop TK from walking away anymore. She watched him stride purposefully out the doors into the sun outside. She could only stand in the hallway, alone, clutching her books to her chest and struggling not to cry. The guilt wasn't gone.

Why couldn't she just keep her mouth _shut? _


	14. Lesson 14: Siblings ARE Important

**A/N: **I'm on a roll! Whoo!

EDIT: The title was a mistake, but I fixed it! It's because that was the first title of the story and then I decided to change it. For some reason I still always call it that... sorry!

* * *

_**Beating Hearts**_

_Chapter 14_

* * *

**Our siblings push buttons that cast us in roles we felt sure we had let go of long ago - the baby, the peacekeeper, the caretaker, the avoider... It doesn't seem to matter how much time has elapsed or how far we've traveled.** -- Jane Mersky Leder

* * *

TK awoke groggily at the incessant sound of his alarm clock on the bedside table. A mild ray of sunshine was shining through his blinds, but TK closed his eyes against it anyway, sighing and digging his face into his pillow. The beeping continued, but TK found he didn't have the energy to move.

All he had been doing for the past 12 hours was lay in his bed. He was sure he had only been asleep about the last hour or so. The rest of the time had been spent moping and thinking too hard and maybe crying a bit, but he would never admit that.

Moping… about what? His tired brain slowly began to whirr, and it all hit him again with such force he lost his breath for a minute.

His brother.

His girlfriend (sort of).

Just… just what _had _they done? Kari had said 'kissed', but she seemed so guilty that he couldn't help but think if there had been more, and if there had how far, and why was it that they had kissed and it took Kari seven years to finally give him a little peck, and—

"No," he muttered, throwing a fist against his pillow.

"TK?" The voice startled him. It was his mother talking to him from behind the door. "You awake?"

"Mm," was his noncommittal noise. He so badly just wanted to say he was sick, but he knew that would drive Kari crazy. _Well good, she deserves it, _he thought, and instantly took back his thoughts. He couldn't help but want to… want to forgive her, to believe there had been a reason, that Kari still wanted to be with TK. He was just too—_nice. _It was too hard for him to think badly of Kari.

Matt, on the other hand…

TK suddenly sat up in bed. You know, maybe going to school wasn't such a bad idea after all.

* * *

Thankfully, Kari cornered Matt in the morning. She saw him walking casually through the front doors, but she ran up and tugged on his collar before he could go any further. Matt jerked back, turning around to see Kari. He gave her a dazzling smile that left her blind for a minute.

"Hey Kari," he greeted cheerfully.

"Matt, I told TK." Kari knew her face was pale, and the words came out through cold lips. She had wanted to call him last night, but Tai had protectively kept the phone in his grasp, waiting for a call from Sora or o Izzy or something. It was like he _knew _she was going to call Matt. He still hadn't asked her about the night she ran out, though. She sort of thought he had an idea.

He stared at her. "You told him…" He didn't want to acknowledge it, she could tell.

"It was yesterday at lunch, and he grabbed my hand and I got flustered and guilty and I told… him." It all came out in a rush except for the last word.

"Kari." Matt sounded like he was struggling to be calm. "You told him what, exactly?"

"That… That I kissed you." She hated sounding so meek and embarrassed.

"Crap!" Matt shouted out. Kari flinched back, finally looking up at him.

"Well it's not like he's mad at _you_!" Kari flared back hastily. "You know I can't handle these things and—"

"Then why did you even do it? Why did you even kiss me?" Matt shot back. Kari stared at him.

"Why did I—"

"No, nevermind." Matt sighed heavily, running a hand over his face. "Sorry, I'm just… this is bad. TK doesn't take anything lightly. Kari, I was hoping we could keep it quiet, just a bit longer…"

"But Tai already knows!" Kari argued feebly. "How do we know he hasn't told everyone yet?"

"Because Tai wouldn't do that." Matt's voice was so serious, his face so solid, that Kari was taken aback. Tai? Wouldn't _tell _anyone? Did Matt even know Tai?

"He's my brother, and I think—"

"He's _my _best friend, and I think I spend a lot more time with him than you do."

Kari glared up at Matt. "Fine. We can argue about my brother all morning, or we can try to figure out what to do about TK." Pause. "About… this." She swept a hand around them, trying to indicate that she meant the two of them and their strange 'relationship'.

"I don't know what to do any better than _you _do!" Matt cried, in almost a pleading voice. Kari didn't like that tone. She had been thinking that once she talked to Matt… well, it had just always seemed to her that Matt would know what to do. She should honestly learn from her mistakes.

Besides, she realized, _he _had kissed _her _first! Why did he always forget that little detail?

"Look, I think… we should probably… talk to him." It was the thing they had been avoiding for what felt like years. The words weighed heavily on both of them, and they stood in the doorway gloomily for a moment.

"I tried, but all he did was… yell." Kari still remembered TK's unusually harsh words. It was bizarre how everyone around her seemed to be changing so drastically… herself included.

Matt, who was talking loudly to her again, ripped her rather violently away from this train of thought. He didn't seem to care that students could hear their conversation. "Well then _I'll _talk to him."

Kari shook her head. "You two will only yell at each other," she scolded him. Matt quirked an eyebrow.

"Oh really?"

"Yes."

"Well he doesn't seem too keen on talking to you either."

Kari opened her mouth, but no sound came out. "But I should be there…"

"He might see that as ganging up on him. TK's a—" He stopped.

"Gentle person," Kari supplied quietly. Matt stared at her, but Kari was looking at her shoes so she didn't see the worried expression on his face.

"Is this what you want?" he asked suddenly, abruptly. Kari blinked.

"What?"

"You know… us. Being… together?" Matt didn't really know how to word it. Kari gulped.

"If it works out—yes." Kari knew it was true. Sort of. No, no, she knew! Obviously.

"Well then…" He fell silent. _Why do you look so scared? _Was what he wanted to ask, but he knew it was a jealous and selfish question. TK was obviously still important to Kari, and his anger would affect a caring person like her deeply. But… argh! Why was Matt looking at this situation like TK wasn't his brother? For the rest of their lives, TK would hate him. Be jealous of him. Loathe him, maybe. Matt shook his head. No, no. He'd sort it out. He _had _to. Matt knew, without admitting it to himself, that he would never be able to live if TK hated him. It was just a fact of life.

"We'll figure it out," Matt assured her, because even though he didn't know if it was true or not, he knew it was what Kari wanted—no—_needed _to hear. He spontaneously leaned forward, cupping her cheek with his right hand. It was a move that often sent the girls swooning, but Kari only looked up at him with large eyes, nervous and excited at the same time. He could tell. "Right?"

Kari hesitantly nodded. "Right." She brought one hand up to overlap his, gently and softly, almost as if it wasn't there. He hid a smile, and then quietly withdrew his hand. She let hers fall to her side, expression confused.

"Just don't dwell, Kari. You worry too much, and I don't want you worrying yourself into a fever. Okay?"

"Yes, but sometimes… I just can't help it." She shrugged, her brow creased with worry.

"Nothing's broken yet," he reminded her softly.

"Almost," she warned him.

"But not quite." He affectionately patted her cheek, and Kari had to struggle to hide her embarrassed smile and swatted his hand away.

"I'm not five," she chided him playfully.

"Oh I know," Matt agreed with a smile, but it slowly drifted off. "Trust me, I know." Kari looked as if she was about to reply, but the swarms of students were growing, as the bell was about to ring at any minute. Matt wondered briefly if anyone had seen them being so intimate. Well, so what? He realized now that sooner rather than later they wouldn't be able to hide anymore. Damn. They'd barely had anything to hide, anyway, though. It wasn't like they'd been secretly dating for a year, or anything.

"I've got to go," Kari told him clumsily. Matt nodded.

"Have fun."

"Same to you," she shot back, flashing a smile and walking quickly into the school without a backwards glance. Matt was still smiling until he sat down at his desk and heard two people behind him whispering. Instantly his hearing sharpened, but then he quickly turned away, smothering the need to know if they were talking about him already. It wasn't like he cared. He didn't.

* * *

TK went the whole morning with his teeth gritted, hearing the occasional whisper of, "did you see?" or "oh my God, no way were they--!" He desperately blocked them out, not wanting to know the cute couple-ness that Matt and Kari might be up to now that they felt their cumbersome duty of informing him about their relationship was over and done with.

As he walked down the hallway he spotted a familiar head of blonde hair. He gave one last disgruntled sigh through his teeth and caught up to the boy. After all, TK was taller than Matt, and his legs were longer.

"Hello, brother," TK greeted from behind him, struggling to find cheerfulness and in the end just letting it fall flat. Matt stopped, seemed to pause, and then slowly turned around to face TK.

"Hey Teeks," he greeted, using the affectionate pet name that usually softened TK up. Not this time. This time some sort of strange, cool rage was blocking his brain, making him blind.

"So. How're you? I feel like we haven't talked in _ages._" He let the sarcasm drip from his words, knowing vaguely that he didn't sound like himself. TK could see it on the strange expression Matt had on his face.

"Teeks—"

"No really, why don't you tell me all about your wonderful romantic excursions?" He smiled sweetly, fists clenched at his sides. "Why don't you tell me about all the times you secretly laughed to yourself while I called you with my problems about Kari? Remember how _you _told _me _to try and get her, with flowers and apologies and to 'give her a chance' or—or whatever was spouting from your mouth?" He was grim, but his voice was turning hysterical. "Why don't you tell me that, Matt? Huh? _Brother_?"

Matt winced at the word, as if it were some sort of physical blow. "TK, I promise I'll talk to you, but can we take it somewhere else—outside of the school?" he added. He was still the older brother, and before TK could object and say no, here was fine, Matt had already started walking away. TK knew his trick and shook his head angrily, following him outside of the school anyway and across the quiet street in front of the school.

"Fine, no go ahead," Matt said after a moment of silence. He looked steady; ready for anything TK might throw at him.

But not literally.

TK knew he had gone mad when he felt his fist lifted and swinging, sucker-punching Matt right in the stomach. Matt let out a loud, "oof!" and staggered back, his book bag dropping onto the sidewalk. He held his midriff tightly, crouched over, breathing quietly. TK stood straighter, staring at his fist in horror. What had _that _been?

"Okay, I sort of deserved that," Matt finally muttered, standing straight and making a grimace. TK glared at him.

"'Sort of?'" It was a different sort of power pulsing through TK know. He knew he had the strength to beat up Matt, or maybe Matt wasn't trying to defend himself, but it didn't matter! TK didn't care anymore, but instead readied his fist at his side again; just in case.

"Okay, a lot," Matt conceded, his tone no longer light. He stared at TK, the first time he looked his brother in the eye directly for what seemed like months. Maybe it _had _been months. "You never gave her a chance to explain."

TK felt his face heat up with embarrassment. "I didn't want to talk about it!" he cried desperately. "I didn't want to hear about how you two grew close, and I was being forgotten, or about how you guys knew you were meant for each and poor, stupid TK didn't have any place in your lives anymore!" His voice broke on the last word, and he stepped back, hating himself for feeling embarrassed for saying what he had been thinking about all night. It was true. He was being forgotten, and TK knew that was the thing that hurt the most.

"TK…" Matt began, his face confused.

"Oh don't say that," TK spat out darkly, looking at the sidewalk. He didn't want to hear the obvious pity in his brother's voice. "Don't say it's not like that at all."

There was a silence, and TK expected Matt to walk over to him or something. Glancing up, he saw his brother standing warily as far away as before. "But… it isn't," he told him helplessly, but his face was hard.

"Then _what _is it, exactly?" TK asked. "Oh it's a very healthy relationship you two have, making each other jealous with your toys." _I'm one of them, _TK thought miserably. And he was slowly breaking.

"TK," Matt said again, this time in a warning tone. "It's more complicated than that."

"Complicated?" TK let out a bark of laughter. "Of course it's complicated! She's younger than you, you're graduating, _and _your little brother is in love with her! Of COURSE it's going to be complicated!" TK was glaring at him again now, struggling to put his feelings into words but knowing that all that came out was anger. "So why are you even doing this? Is it worth it?"

Matt stared at him. TK knew he was thinking. He also knew Matt wasn't one for commitment or relationships, which is why his next words shocked him. "Yea, I guess it is." He shrugged nonchalantly, but all TK could do was stare uselessly at him.

"Look, Teeks, I don't know how I can possibly explain this to you." Matt held his hands out in a confused gesture, shaking his head. "I mean, no matter what, you're going to hate me, aren't you?"

TK stared at his brother and knew that Matt had always been his pillar. Sure, maybe a rather unsteady one, but a pillar all the same. But now, how was he supposed to talk to him knowing that he had just kissed Kari, or that Kari was thinking of him, or what if they got _married, _or had _kids, _or—

"I don't know." TK was staring at his shoes again, suddenly at a loss. "Matt, how could you do this to me?" he asked weakly, and suddenly it was just the two of them. The people walking by curiously were forgotten, and it was little TK asking his older brother for help, to hold his hand and to tell him it was okay, he was sorry, it wouldn't happen again.

Matt hesitated, and then took a step closer. "You don't know how much it's been killing me, TK. It's the hardest thing I've ever lived through. I don't want you gone." His voice was sincere, but TK had a hard time believing it.

"Then just stop." TK's voice was soft. "_Please._" He didn't care if he was begging. He didn't care that Kari had probably fallen out of love with him ages ago. He just wanted her back.

"I can't." Matt's voice was firm.

TK straightened up. The moment was gone. "Fine."

"Fine."

"I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"TK, please don't shut us out—"

"_Us?_ Oh, this is nice. Now you're even speaking FOR her! Brilliant!" TK let out a quiet chuckle. "Lovely. Just great." He turned around and glanced across the road before jogging back to the school. As much as he resisted the idea of going back in, he was diligent student.

"Teeks—"

But TK had already blocked out his brother's voice, Matt's words pounding in his ears and suddenly TK realized his first kiss had been false.

* * *

"What did he say?"

"He's not exactly okay with it." Matt's dry voice made Kari anxious.

"Matt, please, be serious or I'll have to find him myself, and I don't really—"

"He walked away from me." Matt's voice was dark, his words blunt. Kari nearly stopped walking, but managed to keep her step up. The two of them were walking home, and Kari had decided to try discussing TK once more. She knew it was a horrible way to start out a relationship—courting—dating—thing—but she needed it to be _done. _Kari knew that was an awful way to look at it, but…

"What?"

Matt had his hands in his pockets; his book bag slung carelessly over one shoulder. The two of them were shoved to the side on the sidewalk, trying to avoid the busy crowds to have a decent conversation. "I tried talking to him, and he said—he said some things, and then he just walked away. There was no way I could make him agree with us, and I completely understand him." Matt's voice was earnest, but his shoulders were slouched in a dejected manner. Kari looked over at him worriedly. She was _dying _to know what he had said, but Matt was going through some deep thoughts at the moment.

Kari couldn't wait long, though. "So… what did he say, really?"

Matt let out a breath through his nose, gathering his thoughts. "Oh you know, the usual… that it was ludicrous, we were being stupid, we hurt him… he thinks we're forgetting him." The last words were soft, and Kari could barely hear them over the mulling crowd… but she understood.

"Oh Matt, I'm sorry. It's all my fault that things between you and TK are so messed up right now, and I don't know how to make it better." Her voice wobbled, so she took a deep breath to steady it.

"It's not, Kari, don't worry." But Matt wouldn't look at her face, only ahead, and Kari didn't like that. She knew he must harbour some sort of frustration at her, and that made her nervous. "What about you and Tai?" Matt finally asked. "That must be sort of… odd."

"Oh. Tai." Kari pondered his words, wondering if he was going to jump to his friend's defence like he had earlier that day. "We haven't really talked since he shoved the phone in my face." Kari had (rather shyly) explained to Matt why she had called him that day several days ago. Instead of being annoyed or disappointed, he had only laughed.

"I think you should talk to him." Matt finally cast a glance at her, and Kari nodded dutifully.

"Yea, it's just… weird."

"Well, he can't hate you as much as TK hates me."

Kari winced at his words, but kept going. "I don't know… Tai's your number one fan, Matt."

Matt managed a smile and reached out a hand, almost as if to ruffle her hair. Kari twitched in anticipation, but he shocked her when all he did was run a hand through it. She nearly tripped over her own feet, but Matt was still walking and so Kari struggled to keep going. If he wasn't affected, neither was she. Fine.

"It's like the rest of our time is going to be spent running around, trying to fix things with these guys," Kari suddenly spurted, nibbling anxiously on her thumbnail. "Don't you think?"

Matt nodded slowly. "Yea…" And everyone else. But Kari knew she could deal with everyone else. But Tai and TK were two of the most important guys people in her life, and—well—it was going to be hard.

"Will we ever be able to enjoy this?" Kari asked more quietly, half-hoping Matt wouldn't hear her.

He did.

At her words he pulled her close, finally stopping their fast-paced walk. Kari's breathing hitched as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and half-lifted her so he could kiss her deeply on the lips. Kari responded immediately, and it was great and everything, but before she could really get used to it (after all, she'd only kissed a couple of times and it was sort of new to her) he pulled away slowly.

"Maaatt-" she began in a whining tone.

"I think we'll still be able to enjoy it," he whispered, interrupting her, and suddenly his point was proven and Kari broke into a fit of giggles. Even Matt cracked a smile.

* * *

"Tai?" Kari knocked softly on his door. There was silence, as she had been expecting. His greeting hadn't been all that kind when she'd walked in. He had been in the entryway, just taking off his shoes when he heard her. Tai had given her a startled deer in the headlights look, and then casually finished taking off his shoes. Just as Kari had been about to say something he had only walked away, down the hall, and slammed his door shut.

Great.

"Tai?" Kari repeated, knocking a second time. "C'mon, Tai, why're you ignoring me?"

Silence.

"If I remember, _you're _the one who gave me the phone, and I don't apprecia—"

"Kari? What are you doing?"

Kari jumped and spun around to see Tai standing in front of her, munching on a handful of chips. He was staring at her curiously.

"Wha—What? But Tai, you went to your room…" Kari said feebly. Hadn't he?

"No I didn't. I went to the bathroom. Then to the kitchen." Tai pointed to the door down the hall, where Kari hadn't noticed he'd probably emerged and headed to the kitchen.

"Oh… I thought you had been ignoring me or something…" Kari let out a nervous laugh. "That was stupid of me…"

"Was it?" Tai slid past her and opened his door. Kari grabbed the handle just before he managed to shut it.

"Tai, come _on!_" Kari cried, anger leaking into her words. "Would you _listen?_"

"Oh, but I already know what you're going to say." Tai turned around, popping in a chip and munching on it before adding to his statement. "You're going to say that just because you two are 'together' doesn't mean Matt will ignore me when he comes over. It doesn't mean that when you guys get in arguments I'll be expected to take sides, no, don't worry!" He flopped down on his bed, shoving off soccer equipment before laying his head down on the pillow, staring at the ceiling and chewing on the last of his chips. "Don't worry about it, Kari. I'm expecting it all." He made a wide gesture with his arms to the ceiling, as if ready to embrace it, preparing himself. Kari grimaced.

"Well… that's not fair," she muttered, opening his door a bit wider and squeezing inside. She wrinkled her nose. It smelled like sweat and old food. She daintily sat on the foot of his bed, moving his foot over so she had some room on the rumpled blue sheets. "Why did you tell me to call him then?"

Tai let out a loud, dramatic sigh. "Because—I dunno—I thought it'd be better if you two just got it over with already, instead of trying to figure it out separately. Teamwork is always better." He closed his eyes, and Kari took this chance to smile before struggling to keep it down. She could tell Tai wasn't exactly comfortable with this, but at least he had somewhat good intentions.

"I'm sorry I'm not dating TK," she whispered.

"Yea, well, it's not like I can tell you what to do or anything." His eyes were still closed. Kari didn't understand why her brother was being so… so _good _about this!

"You don't hate me then?" Kari asked in a hushed whisper, and she couldn't help but nearly start crying at her question. She hastily rubbed away tears, but she wasn't fast enough. Tai had sat up, resting on his elbows, giving her a confused look.

"Kari, I don't hate you."

"Oh, I know! It's just, I thought you would, and it's hard enough with TK, and…" She sniffed and shrugged, rubbing at her other eye. "I don't think I could handle you hating me."

"Kari, Kari, Kari," TK reprimanded in his theatrical way, scooting over so he sat beside her, legs swung over the side of the bed. He tugged her closer with an arm over her shoulders and gave her half of a hug. Kari sniffed again and felt relief lightening the weight on her shoulders. "I'm your brother, it's like, forbidden in my DNA to hate you or something." He paused. "Although this whole situation could be… uh… _better_, per say, I'm not going to get _angry _with you for it. At least it's resolved, and you two aren't just… floating around, or whatever."

Kari giggled and pulled away slightly to look up at Tai's face. "Do you even know what you're talking about anymore?"

Tai shrugged, grinning. "Sort of. Not really."

"I don't say it much, but… you're a great brother. Thanks, Tai." Kari wasn't ashamed or embarrassed at her words. It was true. Although Tai had freaked out at her the night of the phone call, he had had good reason. Somehow he had pieced it all together, and had been mulling over it for who knew how long. He seemed to have relaxed since the snapping moment in which he had yelled at Kari in the hall.

"Glad to be of service. But… Kari…" He fell silent.

Kari poked him in the ribs. "What?"

"Just… Don't hurt him, okay?"

Kari pulled away completely now, staring at Tai in shock. "Huh?"

Tai looked away uncomfortably. "Matt doesn't look it, but he's sort of sensitive, especially where his ego is concerned. I can tell this is something new for him, so just don't hurt him," he repeated, flickering a glance over at Kari, almost nervously.

"Uh. I wasn't planning on it?" Kari replied, almost as a question.

"Oh. Okay. Good." Tai stood up suddenly. "Want to go buy some food?" he asked suddenly. Kari jumped at his words. It wasn't often the two of them went out in public together anymore. Somehow, had this whole Matt thing… brought them closer?

Ridiculous. Kari nodded and stood up. "Sure! Just let me grab some stuff from my room."

Tai rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "Women."

"Yes, women," Kari agreed with a smile and pushed him out of his bedroom with a shove in his back. "I'll only be a few minutes!"

As Kari wandered into her bedroom to the music of Tai's mutters down the hallway, she wondered briefly if she should call Matt and tell her how successful the meeting had been with Tai. But then she thought again, and realized that Matt might be trying to sort things out with TK. She'd call him later that night, she decided. Right now was brother and sister bonding time.

If only she'd called him. If only she had made the time to give that two-second phone call… maybe things would have gone differently… or at least a lot more smoothly.


	15. Lesson 15: Keep Your Mouth Shut

_**Beating Hearts**_

_Chapter 15_

* * *

**The things most people want to know about are usually none of their business.** – George Bernard Shaw

* * *

TK had a moment of weakness. Just one.

He was tired of sitting at home and wondering, of fretting and thinking about Matt and Kari, Kari and Matt. His imagination ran rampant as the days passed. He went to school in a stupor, ignoring everyone and only dreaming of the horrors that were taking place between Kari and his brother.

Kari.

And his brother.

He didn't know how else to explain his misery.

TK had acted like such a baby with Matt and Kari (but he personally thought he had the right) that he couldn't go back on his word and confess to them that he was ready to talk, he wanted to hear their reasons. He wanted to believe them, to accept them, to be a good brother and good friend. But it was impossible. It was too hard for him to talk to them now. He ran away when he spotted one of them in the hallways.

He hadn't talked to either in weeks.

By this time the rumor mill was in full motion, and people around the school were always watching Kari and Matt, and some even eyed TK to gauge his reaction. He remained calm, but mostly because he was so out of it he didn't know what was going on half of the time.

But that one moment of weakness came when he was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling in the dark. Well, as much dark as he could get in his room in the middle of the afternoon with his blinds snapped shut. His mother wouldn't be home for several hours, so he could mope in peace without struggling to act cheerful around her.

So TK was staring at the ceiling when the painful feeling struck him. He wanted to know. He _finally _wanted to know what was going through their heads that it physically hurt him. Was it really true love? Or what? It was driving him crazy.

Without thinking he leapt up and rummaged around for the other phone somewhere on his floor. He had been rolling it between his hands for the past few days, always tempted to call one of them but never getting the guts. But now was the time, and before he could stop his fingers they were dialling Kari's number, and he waited with bated breath. Oh Lord. What was he doing?

He was just about to hang up with fear when the message machine began spouting out something. He paused, listening to Kari's sweet voice saying the usual: "We're not available right now, so please leave a message and we'll call you back as soon as we can! Have a great day!"

TK smiled to himself. She sounded more cheerful in that message than he'd heard her in a long time, and—oh God. The beep! The _beep!_

"U—Uh, hey. Kari? Is she there? Um, if she is, it's TK. Uh. Okay. Bye." He hung up immediately, heart hammering and hands trembling.

What had _that _been?

* * *

"So this is how it goes," Kari informed Matt as they ascended the staircase to her apartment for the exercise. "I've figured it out for Tai's benefit. I'll go over to your house for Matt and Kari time, but when you come over to our apartment it's Matt and Tai time. That way my parents and Tai won't bother us, and then you and Tai can still hang out!" Kari grinned. It was perfect. She'd sat up last night and instead of doing homework, had been struck by the brilliant plan. "Great, right?" she asked mock modestly.

"Absolutely beautiful," Matt told her, swinging an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close for a quick hug as they stepped onto her landing. "I don't know how you do it, Kari."

She grinned up at him before turning back to her bag and rummaging around for her key. "It's a gift." She paused in front of the door, turning to face him with the key pointed in his face. "Today's an exception though."

Matt quirked an eyebrow. He had just been wondering the same thing. "Oh really? How so?"

Kari struggled to hide her blush, but knew it was there anyway. She shrugged, turning to unlock the door. "My parents and Tai aren't home."

It all clicked in Matt's brain in an instant. "Ah, of course," he agreed with a light chuckle. Kari grinned and tried not to look mortified at her own words. She never thought she'd say something like that! But suddenly Matt's hands were on her waist, lightly tickling her from behind as they walked in. She swatted them away and turned around as Matt closed the door behind them. Before she could object he'd swung her around and had her back to the door as he kissed her slowly on the lips. Oh wow. Not even one second into the apartment. It must have been a record. Then again, all week they'd only seen each other at school and it wasn't like they could do much there, especially with Anne glaring at her every chance they had.

"Mmm," Kari murmured into his mouth, arching up closer to him. Matt obliged, but lightly pulled away at the same time, teasing her. Kari's hands gripped his sleeves tightly.

"Not right now," she ordered him sternly against his lips. Matt smirked, his lips still touching Kari's lightly.

"Oh, bossy now, aren't you?" he whispered.

"Yes," Kari told him forcefully, leaning up for a kiss. "Yes, I am," she repeated, and did what she knew would make him kiss her. She lifted a hand and ran it slowly through his silky hair, enjoying every second as it fell through her fingers. He was staring into her eyes, and Kari saw the intense blueness of them until he sighed and crushed his lips against hers once again.

They didn't really talk much these days. It was mostly pent up sexual tension exploding into make-out sessions between the two of them. 'Stolen moments' Kari secretly liked to call them, because they were few and far between and always really intense and absolutely positively awesome, in her opinion.

She was in a different world when the phone rang. Whatever, the machine would get it. Matt was doing something super nice to her ear, whatever it was, and his hands were in her hair now, and it felt great, and—

"U—Uh, hey. Kari? Is she there?"

Matt's mouth froze halfway down Kari's neck, his hands still wrapped firmly in her hair and vice versa. She was staring, unmoving, at the ceiling.

"Um, if she is, it's TK."

"_Shit,_" Matt murmured into Kari's skin, and it sent a thrill down her spine before he—rather unwillingly, she noticed—pulled away.

"Uh. Okay. Bye." A click.

And then silence.

"Um. What was _that?_" Kari whispered to no one in particular. The enjoyable moment had been shattered, and she instantly felt guilty and dirty and horrible all at the same time. She pulled her hands out of Matt's hair, flattening her own afterwards, staring at the floor embarrassedly.

"Wow, talk about a mood-wrecker," Matt muttered, slumping against the door and slowly sliding down to a sitting position. His arms were balanced on his kneecaps as he stared vacantly at the apartment entryway.

Kari slowly sat beside him, but she was cross-legged with her hands folded tightly in her lap; so tightly the knuckles were white.

"He wants to hear what we have to say," she whispered, both relieved and terrified. She'd gotten used to the rhythm of silence between them. Not that she liked it—she hated it. But she had begun to deal with it. And now… _this. _

"He wants to hear what _you _have to say," Matt corrected her. She heard the edge of bitterness in his tone.

"Should we… call him back?" Kari asked softly.

"I guess," Matt answered after a few moments of silence.

"Oh man." Kari nibbled her bottom lip nervously. "I don't know what to say! What does he want to hear? What—"

Suddenly the phone began ringing again. Kari stopped talking, and cast a quick glance at Matt. He looked over at her, looking just as worried. "Leave it for now," he advised. Kari tensed, waiting to hear the voice.

"Kari? Tai?" It was Mimi. "Oh my GOOOOD Kari why didn't you tell me?! I had to learn from _Tai?! _Ew! Or why didn't Matt say anything? I thought we were friends! And—oh—family phone. Right! Okay, call me back!"

Kari stared at it. "Oh no. _Mimi _knows?" she asked weakly. Tai! That stupid, ugly Tai! "I thought you were _so _sure he wouldn't tell anyone!" Kari unintentionally snapped at him.

"Well, I was!" Matt cried, taken aback by Kari's hostility. "But obviously he thought Mimi should know… for some reason…"

"Agh, I can't TAKE any of this," Kari muttered, running her hands over her face as she spoke, muffling her voice. "TK's enough to handle as it is. Stupid Tai and his intuition." She glared at the floor. "When he gets home I'm going to yell at him so much his ears bleed!"

Matt was so appalled at her violent reaction he let out a subconscious snort of laughter. Kari's glare rounded to him, and Matt couldn't help but giggle again, clapping a mouth to his hand.

"Sorry, sorry, but—your face! It's priceless! Kari, you look so angry. I mean," he stopped talking as her eyes narrowed.

"So I'm not allowed to get annoyed?" she snapped huffily. Matt quirked an eyebrow and decided it was nice to be the calm, rational one for once. Besides, this side of Kari was cute, in its own way. Yea, it was weird, but Matt could take it.

"Oh, Kari, you know that's not what I mean," Matt murmured, wrapping an arm around her shoulders easily and sliding in beside her. He was still amazed at how easily she slid against him, as if she were made to fit under his arm like this. "Let's just not try to get too stressed out about it. Mimi is a good friend, she'll take care. Besides, with gossip like this she's going to want to be the only one to know. She likes knowing everything." He rustled her hair lightly. "Y'know?" he whispered.

Kari's head nodded slowly. "I know… but it's a lot to handle. I mean, I can't even handle TK."

"TK is a delicate case. We both know that this isn't going to be easy. We knew it when we decided to do this."

Kari let out a quiet sigh. Matt didn't know if it was meant to escape his notice or not. "I know," she whispered, and finally rested her head lightly on his shoulder. "I know." After all, at school Sora and Izzy were poking their noses in now, asking Kari how she was, or how _Matt _was, and she'd have to ask them what they meant and there'd be uncomfortable silences and then, "Oh nothing, nevermind." Maybe it was better if Mimi knew so she could tell everyone. At least it would be over and done with.

"You should have told him not to tell Mimi," Kari told him, thinking of the night before when she had decided to call Matt later. No, she should have called him and told him to keep quiet, to tell Tai the things she couldn't tell him because it would be too weird as his little sister.

"Excuse me?" Matt asked, amused. "I haven't exactly spoken to Tai yet."

"But you should have. I should have told you to last night."

"Last night?"

"I was going to call you and tell you I told him, and that you should talk to him about keeping quiet, but—"

"Kari, calm down."

"No! Now what if Mimi, or she goes and tells TK and TK freaks out—"

"But he already knows—"

"But he would be _so angry _to know that Mimi knew! Agh, TAI! I'm going to KILL him!" Kari stood up suddenly, sliding on her shoes. "I'm gonna go talk to TK," she decided.

"What?" Matt asked, bewildered, a bit worried. "Kari, what are you talking about?"

"He want to talk to me, I have to do this before Mimi talks to him or before anyone else can tell him. He'd be—"

"No one else _knows, _Kari."

"It's only a matter of time! Mimi knows for God's sake! Can you actually believe she'll keep her mouth shut?" Kari snapped, shoving her thin jacket on hastily.

"Whoa Kari, no need to get so vicious."

"I'm not, I just—will you stay here?"

Matt blinked up at her, still sitting against the door. "Huh?"

"And wait for Tai. To talk to him."

"I…"

"Matt." Kari suddenly bent down on her knees and took one of Matt's large hands in her own. She admired it for a split second, know how it could play a bass guitar so well, and how it could also stroke her hair so nicely, and—

"Please, Matt. You have to talk to him sometime." She was pleading, begging, and it was ridiculous but she wanted things to be dealt with _now _so she could finally be happy without feeling guilty.

She saw his resolve slipping away. "Kari…" he complained.

"If I can face TK, you can face Tai. At least he's still your friend." Kari's hands squeezed Matt's. "It'd be nice."

"I know, but it's—it's weird."

Kari impulsively leaned forward and kissed him softly on the mouth; she still felt tingles go down her spine at the touch. She backed off only an inch from his face. "But worth it, right?"

He sighed quietly, watching her carefully. "Yes, completely worth it," he conceded, using his free hand to brush a stray hair from Kari's face.

She smiled at him and stood back up. "Wish me luck!"

"All of it," he told her with a smirk, and she smiled nervously at him, tugged on her jacket, and shuffled out of the doorway, closing it softly and leaving Matt sitting, alone, in Kari's apartment.

* * *

"I'm hooome!" called out Tai, dumping his soccer bag on the ground. Practice had been rough today, and he just wanted to collapse on his bed and sleep. The coach had yelled at him and threatened him with a switch to defence—unbelievable!—and gloom was hanging heavily over his head. Food would be good. TV, too. He couldn't get the glares of his teammates out of his head.

He stepped into his bedroom, eyes half closed, ready to fall into bed.

"Hey Tai."

Tai jumped, eyes flying open immediately. There was already someone lying on his bed. He felt his stomach curl uncomfortably when he saw his best friend stretched out, hands laced behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling. His blue eyes were very clear, and Tai could see determination in them that reminded him of Matt at age eleven.

"Uh, hey," Tai greeted, suddenly feeling awkward in his own bedroom. Matt seemed to command whatever room he was in, and Tai felt himself shrinking. Why was Matt even here? He hadn't talked to him in, well, _ages_. And he knew that Kari must have told him, and Matt must know that Tai knew, and it was just strange to imagine his best friend kissing his own _sister, _and what about TK? And oh _God_—

"How're you?" Matt asked pleasantly, still not moving, as if he knew that when he looked at Tai he might beat him up or something. That irritated Tai. _He _had the right to be angry, not Matt.

"Horrible, actually," he told him stiffly. "Bad practice."

Matt nodded as if he understood. Like he even had the slightest clue, Tai thought darkly. He stood still, half through his bedroom door. Matt let out a soft sigh, preparing, and Tai winced when Matt moved; but all he did was sit up in bed.

"It's been awhile," he finally said, looking at his hands that were in his lap. Tai stared straight at Matt, daring his friend to look at him.

"Yea, it has," he agreed, rather darkly. "Where've you been?"

Matt shrugged. "Busy."

"Mhm." Tai scratched his nose absently, still watching Matt fiddle with his hands. Wait… was Matt _nervous_? The feeling made him smile a little.

"Are you scared of me?" he asked suddenly, taunting. Matt's eyes flew up, snapped together with Tai's gaze. He was irritated.

"No, I most definitely am not," he told him through tight lips.

"Well you're acting like it."

"I'm not."

"Okay."

"Fine."

The two stared at each for several seconds, before Matt's expression seemed to change. "No, wait, this isn't what I was supposed…" His sentenced drifted off. Then, softly, "you told Mimi?"

Tai didn't like the look in Matt's eyes. His friend could rarely hide himself around Tai anymore, and he could see the hurt that creased his brow, made him frown like that. Tai shuffled uncomfortably. "I had to tell _someone,_" Tai tried to explain. "It was driving me crazy."

"Why not someone more reliable? Sora, perhaps?" Matt asked exasperatedly. "Or better yet, myself?"

"Yes, well, you're biased. I can't exactly pour my heart out to you on the situation," Tai sulked. Matt watched him carefully.

"So you hate it," was his flat reply. Tai didn't like his tone.

"I don't hate it," he replied defensively. "It's just… weird."

A wry smirk curved Matt's lips. "I know what you mean."

"I mean, how can I ever complain about my sister to you anymore? How do I know that when you come over you won't ditch me for Kari?" His voice was quieter now. It was an embarrassing thing to admit, but…

"She came up with a plan," Matt told him suddenly. "She'll come over to my place when we want to hang out, but when I come over here it's strictly for us to hang out."

Tai straightened a little. "Really?"

"Really."

"But…"

"I'd talk to her and stuff, Tai. I'm not going to act like she doesn't exist. But we'd hang out." Matt shook his head a fraction. "You didn't actually think that I'd forget about you or something, did you?"

"Well, not exactly," scoffed Tai airily. "Not really."

Matt only nodded. "Right. So. I just wanted to make sure. We're cool?"

Tai hesitated before nodding. "I think so."

Matt shifted slightly. "Good." He fell silent, but Tai knew he wasn't done.

"What?" he asked warily.

"What exactly did Mimi say?"

"Oh. She sort of freaked out. I don't know if it was happy or angry or if she just loved the story, or what." Tai shrugged. _But she let me rant, and that's why I told her._

"Did she promise to keep quiet?"

"Uh…" Tai squinted, trying to remember. "I don't know if I… asked… her…" At Matt's expression he grimaced. His friend was irritated now.

"_Tai_."

"What?" he cried. "I didn't—"

"Kari is worried sick about it. She wanted me to tell you to not tell anyone. As in, shut up. Like, call Mimi and tell her not to say another word to anyone else."

"Why didn't she just ask me to do it?" Tai asked defensively. "We were bonding and all last night, after all."

"She was going to call me and ask me to tell you because she thinks it'd be weird to ask you. I dunno, a sister thing I guess. But she said you guys went somewhere." He shrugged. "Just… would you call her? Please?"

Tai was slightly alarmed. Matt was taking a lot of care of Kari. It was… slightly unnerving.

"Yea, sure, I'll call her." Tai stepped out of the room, feeling both relieved (having finally talked to Matt) and anxious (because of the Mimi mistake and Matt's acting so out of character).

He picked up the phone. Dialled her number. "Mimi?"

"Tai! Hi!" he heard her voice squeal and buzz. "Sorry, I'm at the mall, it's loud!" she yelled. Tai winced. "So what's up?" she yelled.

"Uh, you know that thing I told you earlier today?"

"About Matt and Kari?"

"Sssh, and yes!" Tai hissed, suddenly anxious. Had she actually kept her mouth shut? "You won't tell anyone about it, will you?" he asked. "Will you?" More nervously.

"Uh… okay…"

He didn't like her tone. "Mimi. Please don't tell me you—you didn't—" Tai's stomach dropped. "Mimi!" he cried suddenly, exasperated.

"I'm sorry! It was just so great, and what a surprise! I didn't expect it! I had to tell." He could hear the careless tone of her voice, but also the worry underneath. Mimi was always scared of screwing up.

"Who?" Tai asked anxiously. "Who did you tell?"

"Sora, that's it! I only told Sora."

"Oh God." Tai hung up the phone, staring at the wall. Oh God.

* * *

Kari stood in front of the door, holding the key nervously in her hand. She had run back and asked for it from Matt, since she knew that if she just buzzed up he'd probably change his mind and refuse to let her in.

So instead she had let herself in, and she was standing in front of apartment number 54, heart hammering in her chest. She knocked. Waited. Wishing to retract her knock. She wanted to run, but she remembered TK's phone call, his scared voice, the awkwardness, the discomfort, the courage it must have taken for him to call.

Kari missed him.

The door opened. She was breathless, scared, she felt as if she was going to vomit or cry or—

"Sora?" she asked, shocked to see her brother's friend standing in the doorway. Sora stared at Kari too, but then her eyes narrowed, just slightly.

"Hello, Kari. I don't think you should come in just now."

Kari stared at her. "But TK called me…" she began, half-heartedly.

"He doesn't really want to talk to you right now." Sora's voice was sharp. Kari was immediately confused. Why was Sora acting like this?

"Sora, what are you even doing here?" Kari asked.

Sora stared coolly at her. "You don't realize?" she asked. Kari stared blankly at her.

"Mimi told me everything." A pause. "Kari, I don't get it. TK is perfect. How could you do this?" Sora sounded genuinely confused, but the angry expression wasn't gone from her face.

"I—" Kari fell silent. "I just did." She was looking at the floor now. Mimi! _Mimi! _

"I think you should try again later, when his heart isn't broken and he's more willing to see you." Sora looked disgusted. Kari couldn't take it. Sora, the nice girl, the one that was so worried about her when she had been sick a few months ago, who had always been on her side and cheered for her, and now—

"Sora," Kari tried helplessly, but Sora only shrugged and shut the door softly in her face.

"What just happened?" Kari whispered, frantic. "What. Just. _Happened_?"

Sora knew. Sora hated her. Sora. Hated. Was that even possible? Well, Sora was a passionate person in everything she did, and if she thought Kari was in the wrong then she would _definitely _think Kari was in the wrong. Agh, Tai! He had wrecked everything! Or why couldn't Kari have just _called _Matt and told him to tell Tai to shut up? Why couldn't she have told him herself, for that matter?

"Oh no," she whispered. If Sora knew she might tell people, thinking everyone should know how—how underhanded she was being, or something.

Sweet Kari would become something different in everybody's eyes.


	16. Lesson 16: Solve Problems ASAP

**A/N: **I am SO slow but I had Christmas and finals and I was sick and NOT in the mood, and I had surgery, so… yea. Haha. Also, this isn't the end.

Also, I know lots of you might complain about the interaction between TK and Kari this chapter, but I believe in sorting out each character's problems, and not having them constantly lovey-dovey Matt/Kari ALL the time. Y'know? Okay, sorry.

* * *

**Beating Hearts**

_Chapter 16_

* * *

**Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. **– Russian Proverb

* * *

"Who was that?" TK's voice reached Sora's ears from his bedroom. She didn't think he'd moved out of it in weeks. It was a mess, something she never expected of TK. She hadn't come to his apartment very often, but she had always assumed he'd be a neat freak. Things had changed, though.

"No one. Just the wrong apartment," she yelled from the kitchen, where soup simmered in a pot. She stared at it with resolute determination, arms crossed over her chest. She hadn't done anything wrong, had she? Kari had hurt TK, so it was only natural she should stay away and give TK some healing time.

And if his brother and his best friend had abandoned him, who else would take care of him? It was Sora's job now, she decided. She wouldn't let little TK get hurt like this ever again.

* * *

"Everything is great!" Was Matt's greeting. Kari didn't even have a chance to say hello before he lifted her up and swung her in a small circle. Kari had to giggle and cling tightly around his neck, feeling dizzy.

"Things went well?" she asked into his shoulder. Matt nodded against her head, speaking muffled words into her hair.

"He's okay with it. I think," he added, but he didn't sound worried.

Kari hated being the bearer of bad news… why was it always her job as of late? As soon as her feet touched the floor, Kari extricated herself from Matt's arms. He gave her a perplexed look, and then comprehension dawned on his face.

"He freaked out." It wasn't a question.

Kari shook her head. She was so close to tears it was almost ridiculous. She breathed out her nose and took a deep breath before ploughing through her next words like an ox. "Sorawasatthedoorandshewouldn'tletmeinandIthinkshewasreallyreallymad." Kari looked up at Matt earnestly, hoping he would smile reassuringly and tell her he would fix everything, Sora was an old friend, or—or _something_.

But instead he just stared at her. Blinked. Finally moved his mouth. "Oh." Pause. "That's—unfortunate."

Kari felt her stomach curl. That was it. Gone! Matt had been her last hope of redemption, thinking—no, _praying_—all the way home he would know exactly how to deal with Sora and how to fix things up with her. "B—But aren't you… and Sora…" she began weakly, floundering for the proper words. Matt made a little face of dislike.

"We are good friends, and because of this I know that when Sora gets like this, things get…" He sighed. "Problematic."

Kari bit her lip. "So Tai…"

"Unless it was TK?" Matt asked, hopefully. Kari stared at him. He sighed again, looking down. "You're right, Tai told Mimi. She must've told Sora."

Kari frowned at the floor. "Where is Tai, exactly?" she asked in an eerily calm voice. Matt shook his head at her words.

"Don't bug him about it, Kari. He had a good reason to go to talk to her… sort of." Matt closed his eyes briefly, as if trying to summon some sort of divine calm. "It's fine."

"There's always _something_, isn't there?" Kari asked, not trying to hide the whine in her voice. "It feels like instead of just being able to relax, we have to keep fighting over these stupid—big—ugly—dumb—walls—or something," she uttered in fragments, trying to get her feelings across. "It's…"  
"Frustrating, I know." Matt's hands descended on Kari's and held them lightly between the two of them. Kari stared at their hands, her sickly pale ones in his nice, normal-colored hands. Dear God, what was wrong with her? "But like I said—"

"I know, I know," Kari sighed, retracting her hands and clenching them at her sides. "We knew it would be like this when we decided to—um—date?" She looked up in his eyes, wondering if that was the right word. He nodded slowly, musingly, as if he was thinking. The word hadn't even bothered him. Kari blushed even more at her own immaturity. Was she honestly getting embarrassed over the little issues, like what to call their relationship? When to kiss? That stupid stuff?

"Let's go."

Kari stared at Matt. His face was determined. She knew what he was thinking.

And for once, she wasn't going to argue.

"Let's go," she agreed, glad she was still wearing her jacket. The two of them strode purposefully out of the apartment. On their way down the elevator, Kari silently gripped Matt's hand in hers. You know. Just in case.

* * *

Kari wasn't about to complain. In fact, she felt very little need to moan on and on about women's rights at the moment. She rather liked the fact she could be shielded by Matt and all his gruff boy-ness that Kari had never embodied.

Then again, this wasn't something she was exactly proud of either. But hey, she wasn't about to lie to herself.

Her hand was still holding Matt's when he stuck the key in the door. Kari tensed, and Matt winced. "No need to cut off my circulation," he whispered. Kari made a face and loosened her hold on him.

"Sorry," she blustered out, face red from both fear and embarrassment. He paused, the key still half-stuck in the lock.

"You okay with going in there?"

Kari nodded. "He has Sora, so why can't I have you with me?"

Matt smiled at her. "I feel like I'm a parent or something."

"Well you shouldn't, this involves you too," Kari snapped and then sighed. "Sorry, ignore me, I'm nervous. I'm mean right now."

"Gee, if that was your idea of mean, you're clearly the best person I've ever met." Kari mulled over his words as he stuck the key in all the way and turned it. When he opened the door they were both greeted with Sora, who was merely an inch or two away from the half-opened door. She jumped back, looking both irritated and nervous.

"I, ah, was going to open it…"

"It's okay, I got a key," Matt proclaimed, wiggling it in the air before tucking it into his jacket pocket. Kari was staring at Sora mostly out of fear, too scared to do anything else. She saw the older girl's eyes flicker to their hands and narrow. She nearly let out a scream and hastily dropped Matt's hand. He didn't even notice, just closed the door softly behind him.

"Is TK home?" he asked civilly. Kari watched him now, intrigued as to how this little exchange between friends would go.

"Yes, in bed. Sleeping." Sora's words were short and abrupt. She crossed her arms over her chest, and Kari admired Sora's strange beauty like she always did when she ran into her brother's friend; it was something Kari couldn't even begin to compare herself with (although she did all the time). Sora had something loud and in charge about her, a dominating personality, almost. Kari, on the other hand… hid meekly behind Matt whenever she could.

Augh.

"Ah, I see. Well, we just want a word with him whenever he wakes up."

"It won't be for awhile."

"I can wait."

"What about… Kari?" Sora's voice softened for just an instant. Kari gave her a pleading look, but Sora was already turning around, back to the kitchen. Matt rolled his eyes, but then gave a little helpless shrug at Kari. She bit her lip as the two of them followed Sora into the kitchen. As they passed the hall, Kari hesitated. Stopped. She glanced back to see Matt still walking into the kitchen, matching her harsh bits of sentences with pleasantries. It was her chance. Kari stole down the hall before anyone could notice her.

She inched closer to the door, anxious, confused, not knowing what to do. But she was sick of these games, and TK had struggled to call and make the first move and… and she didn't want to let him down.

God, did she sound indecisive or what?

Kari gently opened the door, shocked to find TK's room pitch-black and highly… disgusting. It was self-centred to think she had caused this, but…

"Sora?" asked what sounded like a perfectly awake voice from the bed. She saw something move; panic struck her. "Is someone—" He fell silent. "Oh my God."

"Oh my God," Kari whispered seconds later. "Er, hi TK."

He stared at her; she could nearly see his eyes shine out from the darkness. Was it fear or something that made him move so quickly? One second he was in bed, and the next he had thrown himself on the floor, scrabbling around and trying to pick up bits of clothes, garbage, anything, and throw it all into one pile. "It's horrible in here, no human should see this, this—this isn't because of you!" he suddenly snapped, turning on her. Kari flinched back, still half out of the doorway. She could always run if she wanted…

"I—I know!" she snapped back, and the two stared at each other in the half-darkness before TK went back to scuttling around, trying to clean. "You don't have to clean up," Kari muttered. "I just… I wanted to come over after your message."

TK's movements only slowed, and then quickened again. He didn't listen to her and kept cleaning. "Oh, well, that was a bit of an accident," he said with an off-sounding chuckle. "You know, I was tired—"

"TK!" Kari suddenly shouted. TK winced, and Kari flicked on the light switch, flooding his room with light. He blinked, trying to get used to it, but Kari had already thrown herself on the floor, staring at the hardwood as she bowed her head down.

"I'm sorry!" she began, speaking extremely loudly. She was too nervous to think straight. "I'm sorry I hurt you, and that I did it in the worst possible way, and that I took you for granted when I had you, and that I've made you feel forgotten or lonely or—or anything horrible that's ever happened to you! I'm sorry!" She clenched her hands together in front of her, still kneeling on the floor, head bowed so low her forehead nearly touched the cool hardwood.

"Kari—"

"But I can't apologize for getting a crush on Matt!" she proclaimed, just as loud, trying to get it all out in one fell swoop. "It's the one thing, because I think I have to do what I feel is right, and this is what I feel, and I know I've hurt you in the process, but I just don't want you to hate me anymore!" She was crying, it was a horrible mess, she had come in here planning to be _mature _about it, and here she was begging for his forgiveness. "I don't know how many times I can apologize! Maybe not enough, it'll probably never be enough, I am a horrible person so I really understand if you just hit me or something right now, or if Sora comes in here and throw me out but—just—think about it! Please!" Silence. It engulfed the room in mere nanoseconds. Kari felt like she couldn't breathe and staggered upright, glancing at TK to see he looked deeply, deeply troubled.

"OhmyGod I'm sorry," she blurted out again, and TK flinched.

"Quit… saying that."

"Huh?" she asked weakly, leaning against the wall, shocked he was addressing her.

"Stop… apologizing. It makes it—weird."

Kari flushed. "But I have to! I've been horrible—"

"Just—stop." TK's hands were suddenly on Kari's shoulders. She froze, looked away nervously, and then back up at him. His expression was determined, and Kari was surprised. TK had always been very, _very _aware of her personal space… and then some. She was already off-balance, and this move didn't exactly help.

"Um—I don't…" She looked back up at him; now he looked nervous, too. "TK… I miss you." Her voice wobbled on the last word, but it was true, and she refused to try and wipe away her tears and probably the snot that was leaking from her nose. Ergh, why couldn't she be attractive when she cried?

TK stared at her. Then he released her shoulders, like her flesh burned him or something. "You should have thought of that before," he whispered. Kari felt more tears escaping her eyes, not understanding how it was possible to cry _so much_.

"TK!" she began, then finally decided to rub at her eyes. "This isn't—I don't—this isn't right, what's happening between you and me! And I know it's my fault, and I know you deserve to blame me for everything, but—" She let out a little breath. "You called me." Silence. She looked up at him. "Why did you call me?"

TK stared at her again. Looked down. Away. Back up at her. "I wanted… to talk," he admitted in barely a whisper. Kari let out a quiet, relieved sigh.

"So why can't we talk?" she whispered back.

TK shrugged. "It's a lot… harder, with you here. Knowing that you—and Matt—I'm not… there, anymore." He was staring at the floor, his arms crossed protectively in front of him, his face burning red.

Kari did the only thing she could think of. It wasn't rational; in fact, it was probably stupid. But she took two steps closer to him and wrapped her arms around his little waist, so much skinnier than Matt's, and buried her face into his shirt. She let out a grotesquely loud hiccup, but didn't care. TK wasn't pushing her away, and she just wanted him to know, somehow, that she still cared about him. She still…

TK's arms hesitantly wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her closer, and she felt his head resting on the top of hers, and she knew she wasn't going crazy when she felt tears drop from his eyes into her hair.

"I'm sorry," she whispered again into his shirt.

"I know," TK replied, and it finally sounded like he meant it.

* * *

"I don't know," Sora whispered from the hall, as Matt gently shut the door on the two of them. "It seems suspicious."

Matt wasn't about to voice his agreement. After all, it _did _seem a little too easy, but… then he remembered that Kari deserved this relief, this forgiveness. It didn't mean he had to be completely comfortable with it. TK had looked like he was enjoying the embrace just a _little _too much…

"I know you too well, Matt," Sora said with a hint of disgust in her tone. "TK's a good kid, and your _little brother_."

Matt winced at her words, and glanced over at her, hands on her hips as she stared him down. Ergh, Sora. "I know, I know. Why aren't you barging in there and ripping them apart?" Matt quirked an eyebrow as the two of them ambled slowly down the hall, automatically toward the kitchen. Matt sank into a chair at the table, resting his head on his arms exhaustedly. "I thought you were against the whole Kari-being-happy thing."

"I am not!" Sora snapped, looking hurt and angry at the same time. "You know I want Kari to be happy. But I also want TK to be happy. And you," she added, almost like an afterthought.

"Gee, thanks," Matt responded sarcastically, briefly closing his eyes before opening them again.

"You just roped yourself into a horrible complex thing, Matt," Sora scolded him lightly, bringing over two mugs of something steaming. Matt peeked at his: tea. He held it close in his hands, soaking in the warmth. "You know? TK and Kari had a rhythm, and probably a future, and then you stepped in and threw Kari's hormones out of balance, and it just all went downhill from there."

Matt frowned into the table. "Not _everything _has been downhill," he argued feebly. There had been good times. Really good times. "I don't think Kari regrets it," he added, trying to strengthen his argument.

"I'm not saying she does," Sora told him gently, and Matt had to rip his gaze up to hers, which was steadily boring down on him. "Just remember that she's young, and you're not—as young, and this is all completely new to her."

"I know," Matt muttered, having heard the same thing only a thousand times from everyone else.

"And you're her first—boyfriend." Sora had to struggle to say the word. "Don't break her heart so rashly like you've done to so many other girls, okay?" Her tone was softer now, almost friendly. Matt was amazed and how quickly her perception on things changed. Hadn't she just been on TK's side? Well, now it just sounded like she was against Kari and Matt… only like every other person on the planet.

"I've heard this all before, Sora," he moaned, flopping his head back down on his arms. "Don't think I haven't mulled over it until I've gone insane, because it's happened."

Sora pursed her lips, but Matt couldn't see. He was staring vacantly at the tabletop, wondering what TK and Kari were doing now, how they were 'mending' their relationship. He made a face at the table. He had to fix things with TK too, someday. Hopefully soon. Matt hated to admit it, but he missed his brother sometimes. Sometimes.

"And you don't need to lecture me on TK. Good God you don't need to," Matt added. "It's been a nightmare, dealing with him and everything and I just want… peace." He sighed heavily. Suddenly, he felt Sora's hand on his, still wrapped around the mug of tea. He looked up, resting his chin on his arm as he watched his friend who had a pained expression on her face.

"The rest of us can only give advice to you guys, you know," she told him in a soft voice. "You and Kari are the main kids in this story."

Matt made another face. "I think we're doing just fine."

Sora had to laugh. "Wait until everyone else finds out. I, myself, can't wait to see you squirm uncomfortably."

"I never squirm," Matt argued coldly. Sora only smiled and patted his hand reassuringly.

"Right, of course."

He paused, watching her some more. "You won't… glare at Kari or anything, will you?" He was frowning. "You pretty much terrified her when you answered the door."

Sora sighed, retracting her hand and tucking it in her arms. "I know, I know, but TK's just… after I heard from Mimi, I immediately thought of him."

"Not Tai?" Matt questioned.

"Well, I did, but Mimi swore he was totally fine with it. She was lying, but whatever. She didn't want me to deal with Tai at the moment, so I just decided to try and help TK move along, improve…" She rested her chin in her hand. "I suppose I didn't do much."

"Trust me, you have," Matt said, thinking about TK and how he would have reacted to seeing Sora at his door, offering support when he had had none so far. "I'm sure you helped him a _lot_."

Sora smiled at him. "Thanks, Matt." Pause. "So, is it weird dating Tai's sister?" she asked, almost sneakily as she leaned in closer. Matt had to smirk; as friends of Tai, their thoughts of Kari had always been _his little sister_. It was only natural they would confer like this, maybe only once. But still, it was nice to feel like he belonged in that familiar role, at least for a second.

"It was at first. But now I don't just see her as Tai's little sister anymore."

Sora made a face. "Oh God, please don't tell me sweet little Kari has made you sappy?"

Matt's grin grew. "Maybe not sappy," he replied vaguely, sipping his tea and staring at the steam that rose from it. No, not sappy. But… she had definitely done something to him. And he wasn't complaining.

* * *

Kari emerged from TK's room thirty minutes later, looking completely worn out. Matt nearly jumped out of his chair when he saw her stagger into the kitchen, rubbing her puffy eyes wearily. Matt didn't even think about Sora's reaction as he strode over to her, gently giving her a one-armed hug.

"You okay?" he asked quietly, feeling Sora's gaze just drill right through the back of his head. He tried to ignore it as he heard Kari sniffle.

"Yea, I'm fine." She sounded almost relieved. "I'm fine, TK's—maybe fine, I'm okay, I'm feeling better. I think." Kari let out a nervous giggle, but her little hand clutched at his shirt a little too tightly to be completely fine.

"Thanks for taking care of Teeks, Sora," Matt told his friend as he half-turned to face her. Sora's face was rather dark, but it brightened when she nodded at his acknowledgement. Matt gave her a warning look. She better not get angry with Kari. "I'd go talk to him myself, but, you know—"

"Yea, you probably shouldn't," Sora advised wisely, but the words did nothing to ease Matt's misgivings. Oh great. So everyone basically knew TK would kill him before speaking to him.

But he shook his head. That didn't matter at the moment. He was absolutely dying to know what TK had said to Kari, so with a wave to Sora they had escaped the apartment, Kari still wearing her thin little jacket. He worried about her health for about a nanosecond before tugging her hand free of his shirt.

"So? What happened?" he asked earnestly. Kari's gaze flickered up at him, and then away.

"I just…" Kari shrugged. "I told him. About how I started dance lessons, and how you helped me and it started out almost like a joke, but then things just changed and…" She shuffled her arms a bit, almost shyly. Matt stared at her, but then turned away and kept walking until they were out of the apartment.

"And, I dunno, he listened, and it was nice to finally just be able to explain to him how things changed, and why. I told he still meant… a lot to me, because he does, and I'm just happy he believed me." She hastily rubbed tears from her eyes.

Matt wrapped an arm around her shoulders, bringing her in closer as they hustled through a particularly busy street. When there was a lull in pedestrians, Kari seemed to have regained her composure. Matt was still thinking. Kari was… he didn't know how to explain it. She liked to believe in people easily. If TK had showed the slightest inclination of acceptance, she would have gobbled it up. Matt didn't know if what she said was actually as true as she liked to believe. But if it made her happy, then…

Basically, all this just meant Matt was going to have to talk to TK soon and find out what he was _really _thinking. But maybe Matt should have more hope in his brother. Perhaps.

"Well I'm glad you're happy," he voiced, leaning down and kissing the top of her head as they still walked. He breathed in the scent of her shampoo and smiled to himself.

"Are _you_ happy?" she asked quietly. Matt squeezed his arm around her a little tighter for a second.

"How could I not be?" he replied as a question. Kari let out a breathy giggle.

The two walked in silence for a few moments. "So… basically, what did he say?" asked Matt, almost warily. Kari was quiet for a minute.

"Well he…"

* * *

_TK stared at her. Kari watched him carefully, her knuckles white as she clenched her hands into fists on her lap. They were both sitting on the floor, and Kari had just let out a long-winded explanation about all that happened since… since she could remember feeling like this for Matt. He was still staring at her several minutes later._

_"…TK?" _

_He blinked. "Oh. Uh. That's a lot."_

_"I know," whispered Kari._

_"How can I possibly—" He stopped short, rubbed an eye with his hand wearily, tiredly. "I don't hate you Kari."_

_It was enough to relax her tightened muscles. Slightly. "Really?" she asked breathlessly._

_"Yes." He mulled over her explanation again for a few moments; Kari stared at the floor anxiously, just waiting for him to burst into a fit or something. _

_"I'll need time," he told her quietly, and Kari was taken back to the incident in the hallway when she had uttered those same words to him. Her muscles tightened again._

_"I know." Silence. "I just need to know that you won't… that you're not in here, hating my existence, or cursing me, or—"_

_"I could never do that." His voice was strained, and Kari knew he was being sincere. "Never." She saw him glance at the clock and knew that he had had enough of her impromptu appearance. She stood up quietly, brushing invisible dust from her sleeves._

_"TK… Matt's in the kitchen."_

_TK glared at her. "I can't talk to him right now."_

_Kari's mouth made a little frown, but she nodded. "All right." She turned around, put her hand on the doorknob (which she didn't remember closing…), but then turned back around. "Thank you." Her voice wobbled._

_"Kari…" TK stood up, but stayed in his place. "I've—" He looked at the floor. "I've always loved you." The words were quiet, but defiant, as if just _asking _her to fight against them._

_Kari's voice wobbled more. "I know," she repeated, breathing through clenched teeth. It was hard to not start sobbing right there, and she realized she was lucky to have both brothers, and stupid to have lost one. But Matt… she couldn't even imagine this situation having given up Matt. It just didn't make it to the radar. "Thank you. It's… You're a wonderful human being."_

_TK let out a resigned smile. "A saint?" he asked, almost jokingly, but sadly._

_Kari nodded vigorously. "The best kind." A pause. "I'll talk to you later?" It was a hopeful question, one that could also be heard as, 'don't ignore me, please'._

_TK hesitated. Nodded. "Of course."_

_Kari left then, clicking the door softly behind her, nearly breaking down in the hallway before she heard Matt's gentle voice from the kitchen. That was enough incentive to stumble her way toward him, waiting for his arms to be around her._

* * *

"…He was very good about it." Kari decided to leave the belated love confession out. You never knew with Matt. "He just said he didn't hate me, and he would never, y'know, curse me—"

Matt let out a snort of laughter. "Curse you?" he repeated, chuckling. Kari's face flushed.

"You know, I just thought he might, and I mentioned it, and he said he wouldn't—" Kari stopped short as Matt continued to giggle. She smiled into the sidewalk, but kept her voice firm. "Fine. If you won't listen, I'm not gonna tell you."

That (nearly) silenced him. "Aw, c'mon Kari—" A giggle escaped. "It's just—a bit funny!" A wheezy gasp of laughter. Kari elbowed him lightly in the side, still enjoying the feel of his arm around her shoulders. "Kariii," he wheedled. "What else? C'mon?"

Kari sniffed and turned her head in the other direction. Matt tickled her cheek with the hand that lay on her shoulder. She squirmed and swatted it away. She could feel his grin radiating on the back of her head, so she surprised him by turning around and kissing him on his still grinning lips. But Kari pulled away too quickly for him to really register the kiss, and his grin quickly faded. "What was thaaat?" he moaned. "That wasn't fair!"

"Yes, well, if it shuts you up," Kari said jokingly, "I'll always do it."

"Oh, then who am I to object?" Matt teased back. Kari smiled but tugged on the hand that was around her shoulders.

They continued to joke all the way until they had to go their separate ways, and the whole way home Kari couldn't stop thinking about how it had all been completely worth it.


	17. Lesson 17: Ask for Help When Needed

**A/N: **Took me forever. This is mostly a… hm, I dunno. It's a different sort of chapter. I think I'm going to end this soon. The next chapter is definitely the end of the 'why won't TK just get over it?!' arc, lmao.

**Disclaimer: **no more of this.

* * *

_**Beating Hearts**_

_Chapter 17_

* * *

**The healthy, the strong individual, is the one who asks for help when he needs it. Whether he has an abscess on his knee or in his soul.** – Rona Barrett

* * *

TK was out on a walk. Bored, as it sometimes happened. It wasn't as if his life had ended or anything. No, Kari's "leaving" him hadn't destroyed him for life. Thank God. He was sort of peaceful at the moment, taking in all the apartments, the giggling children walking down the street. All the people with their own lives, who had a past.

TK had one too, he realized. And it wasn't just all about Kari.

It was good to know that. Finally.

* * *

Matt was bored, too, but he was lying on his bed, flicking through channels on his small TV every few intervals. Nothing good was on. Absolutely nothing. He didn't feel like playing bass. Didn't feel like cleaning his room (which he should do, really, it was disgusting). Didn't feel like doing _anything_.

Ever since Kari had emerged from TK's room looking more hopeful, Matt had felt uneasy. It didn't seem right, for things to work out so perfectly. He knew TK had a soft spot for Kari, obviously he did. He _loved _her. But wouldn't that have made it all worse?

Matt sat there, idly chewing his thumbnail as he thought about the situation. He had been doing that a lot, lately. Kari seemed so much more different thinking that TK had forgiven her completely, that all was well. But it wasn't. Matt hadn't talked to TK in weeks. Matt hadn't heard Kari say TK had talked to her yet. It had been days since her visit to him.

"Matt? I'm home," came his father's gruff voice from the kitchen.

"YEA," Matt yelled back in recognition. He listened thoughtfully as his father trudged around the kitchen; opened the fridge door; shuffled off to his room and shut the door with a soft click. This was how it always went.

With all the happiness that Kari was feeling, Matt just felt increasingly worse, more paranoid. Tai hadn't spoken to him. Mimi seemed strangely out of the picture as well. Everyone was quiet, although he had supposedly been "accepted" by all of them. It didn't make sense. He didn't like it. And meanwhile, Kari was oblivious. Of course. That just made it all harder, and wasn't that what the world liked to do to him?

The phone's shrill ringing took him by surprise. Matt threw a book off his bed to find the phone lying underneath, nestled in his blanket. He knew his father wouldn't even bother answering it, so Matt picked it up without any thought. Without checking the caller ID. Stupid. Stupid.

"Hello?" he asked tiredly. A silence. Was it a prank caller? He hated that. "Hello?" he asked again in more of a rude tone.

"I need to talk to Dad," came a sharp voice from the other end. Matt froze. Who knew strange little TK would ever be able to scare him like this? All his life TK had just been the funny little brother to tease. Now he was something completely different.

"Well, luckily," Matt began, fumbling, trying to make conversation and wondering why the hell he was bothering at the same time, "he just walked in the door. I'll grab him." Pause. Silence. "Okay?"

"Fine." TK's reply was abrupt. Matt bit his bottom lip, holding in a huge sigh. But this was getting ridiculous.

"Teeks—"

"Don't even try to fix this over the phone. I need to talk. To Dad," he finished in a tighter voice. Matt bristled.

"TK, as much as you might try to forget it, I'm still your brother—"

"Just drop it, okay? Give me Dad."

"Kari thinks you've forgiven her," Matt spat suddenly. He had decided to try and hide the Kari card, not to pull it out until things got serious, but Matt had forgotten to add his temper into the equation. "She went to your room and you guys had a heart-to-heart or whatever and now you just _forgive _her?" He snorted. "I doubt it. Highly."

"Don't," TK hissed, but Matt kept going.

"Like, what? You just collapse like that for? So easily? No. I don't think so. She might believe you but Kari is innocent and trustworthy and thinks the best of _everybody,_ but I know you far better than she does. I know that you _do,_ in fact, hold a serious grudge. So don't you dare try to lie to me about it, TK," Matt lectured, all in a relatively calm voice. He was proud of himself. A little. "Just tell me the truth. Do you really forgive her, or not?"

A heavy silence was his reply. He could hear breathing on the other end, so he knew TK hadn't hung up. But this was even worse than a screeched reply. "Of course I lied," TK told him stiffly. "I'll say anything to make Kari happy. Okay?"

Matt didn't understand. "I don't get it," he replied flatly.

"God, just forget it, okay? Let me talk to Dad."

"Why?"

"Because!" TK finally yelled, his first shout in the tense conversation. "Could you quit bugging me? Just forget it, I'll call later when _you're _not home!" And with that the phone was slammed down, and the line went dead.

Matt had finally gotten the answer he wanted. TK had lied. He liked Kari too much to tell the truth, or what? Matt stared at the phone in his hand, still holding that long, dead tone.

And then he wondered if Tai had done the same thing to him, and thought maybe nothing had been fixed after all.

* * *

Three days later Kari was standing in the hall when she saw TK at the other end, talking to some student as he slid books into his bag. She froze when she saw him. Okay, okay, it was okay. So what if he hadn't called her? She hadn't called him either. So what if he hadn't acknowledged her in school yet? That was okay. It would take time, obviously. Time, and effort, she decided. Things would work out. That's what she had been telling herself so far, and it seemed to be working.

Carefully she began to walk over, books hugged tightly to her chest. Where was Matt when she needed serious moral support? He had also been MIA the last few days, meeting up with her for a few minutes before and after classes. Giving her light, casual kisses as good-byes. She liked it too much to let it go. That's why she _had _to fix things.

"Hey TK!" she greeted suddenly from behind him. The boy she didn't know stared at her in a weird way, and it took TK a moment to turn around.

"Hey Kari," he replied with a little smile. Kari felt a shiver run down her spine. She shifted her position, not liking the frosty reception she'd received. _Keep trying! _She ordered herself.

"H—How're you?" she asked feebly. Stupid question to ask. God, she hated feeling so conceited.

"Good, I guess." He shrugged. "You?"

Every answer to that question seemed inappropriate. "Um—fine, thanks," she finally mumbled before changing topics. "What do you have right now?" She glanced up at his face: closed off. Oh.

"Nothing important. He closed the locker door rather loudly. "I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Um, oh, okay," Kari murmured, but when she finally got the courage to look at him again he was gone.

"Argh!" Kari muttered, stomping her foot rather childishly. "Stupid!"

"No you're not," whispered a voice from behind her. Kari jumped and turned to see Matt standing there with his messenger bag slung casually over his shoulder. "Aren't you the genius?"

"Um, right," she replied with a little giggle. For some reason, she didn't want to mention her encounter with TK. "Genius. That's me!"

"Hey," Matt said a second later, "wanna come over today?"

Kari's heart jumped in her chest, and she took a deep breath to steady it. "After school?"

Matt smirked. "When else for you?"

Kari smiled weakly. "Right, right. Okay. Okay." She smiled at him, excitement building up inside of her. Could she ever get tired of Matt? Get tired of knowing that he felt the same way about _her? _She didn't think so. "Sounds great!" And her enthusiasm was sincere. Mat caught that and grinned at her.

"Hey, so, how's Tai been acting?" he asked casually as the two began to walk slowly through the hallway traffic.

Kari shrugged. "The usual. Playing soccer, being mean, being gross. Why? Has he said anything mean to you? I thought you guys made up?" She tried to keep the anxiety out of her voice, but it didn't seem to work. Matt hesitated and then shook his head.

"No, nothing's up. He just… hasn't talked to me. That's all."

"Maybe you could call him or something," Kari advised, "or—there he is right now!" Matt jumped at her words, but it was too late to come up with an excuse to leave because he was right in front of them. The three had stopped, jamming the halls.

"Uh, hey," Matt greeted with a little choking noise. Tai stared at him funnily.

"You okay, dude?" he asked. "Kari, can't you even take care of him properly?" Tai joked, slapping Matt on the back a few times as if to dislodge whatever invisible thing was choking him.

Kari seemed just as taken aback by Tai's playful mood around the two of them. _Together._ "Uh, I guess not. Hehe…" She felt strange. Why was her brother acting like this? "You okay, Tai?"

"Peachy, friends, just peachy." He patted both of them on the shoulder, a small grin on his face. "Calm down! I can tell you're both super tense. I'm not about to attack either of you, all right? I'm cool with it!"

Matt's expression was strange. "Are you really? Because TK—" He stopped short, a horrified expression taking over his face. He turned to face Kari, his mouth opening to say something, but she beat him to it, her heart dropping.

"I thought—TK just told me—he was okay with it," she whispered.

Matt stared at her. Tai stared at Matt. "Dude, what the hell did you do?" His tone was no longer joking. Matt's eyes shot back to Tai. He didn't want Tai to hate him. No way.

"Kari… TK… I think he's still mad." Tai seemed to relax a bit, knowing that Matt hadn't cheated on Kari or something stupid.

Kari's shoulders dropped. "Oh." She tried to keep her mouth from wobbling, a sure sign she was about to cry. "Right. Of course."

Tai stared at her. "You okay, Kari?"

"Yea. I'm fine." She shrugged her shoulders. "Not much else I can do."

Tai pursed his lips and looked over at Matt. Matt knew that look in his eyes. "Kari… why don't you head off to class?" He held both her shoulders, forgetting about Tai for the moment. He leaned in closer to her. "We'll fix it, okay? I promise." His voice was so soft Kari could barely hear him, but she did. Nodding feebly, she toddled off to class, lost in her thoughts.

* * *

Matt turned back to Tai, seeing the strange expression on Tai's face. "What?" he asked warily. Tai let a little smile grace his face.

"I'm just glad… I mean, I thought you guys might only be…" He shrugged, smiled. "Just good to know."

Matt sighed. "Know _what, _Tai?" It was easy to fall back into this personality around his best friend. He knew he had been stupid to doubt Tai. If he were angry, he would say he was still angry. Tai was completely different than TK. And Matt was completely glad for it.

"Nothing, nothing," Tai said, but then his face grew serious. "I don't like that TK is causing Kari to freak out so much."

Matt only now realized the hall was empty; the bell had rung. But the two boys didn't move. "What, you're saying we should talk to him or something?" Matt smiled wryly. "Nice try, Tai. He won't even _look _at me. Last time he did—I basically forced him to—he said that…" Matt's brow creased in frustration. "He said he's lied to Kari, told her he forgave her, just so she wouldn't be nervous about it. But isn't that just as bad?"

Tai shrugged, frowning as well. "I dunno, man. TK seems like a complex guy."

"Unlike us?" Matt asked jokingly.

"Unlike _me,_" Tai clarified. "I'm pretty easy to understand."

"Sometimes," grunted Matt, but Tai ignored him.

"I think we should try to talk to him."

"Kari'll get mad at us," Matt advised him, but he would probably follow Tai into doing anything stupid right now, if it kept his friend on his side. True, it was an uncomfortable situation, but you know. "She won't like it that we tried to intrude. She thinks it's between her and TK."

"What?!" Tai looked shocked. "You're obviously a part of it." Matt could hear the hint of resentment in his voice.

"I know, I know." Matt sighed. Maybe it _was _time he spoke to his brother seriously… without getting punched.

"And I'll be your moral support."

"Yea. Moral support." Matt had to smile. "Whatever you say." Even through all the anxiety, Matt could truthfully say it was good to have his best friend back, and to know he wasn't lying to him like TK seemed prone to do.

* * *

Matt was waiting for Kari outside of the school when Tai scampered up to him. "I saw TK coming behind him." He looked straight in Matt's eyes. "Think it's a good time?"

Matt shifted uneasily. "Well, Kari's on her way…"

"It'll be quick. I'll just show him that he's being a stupid idiot, and we'll move right along with our lives!"

Matt sighed. "TK's a bit more stubborn."

"Oh, shut up, you agreed to this," Tai told him sternly, and Matt was just about to agree that yes, he had, when TK's body walked quickly past them.

"Wha—hey! TK!" Tai cried, and the boy froze in his tracks. Turned around.

"Yes?" he asked politely. Matt surveyed his brother with cool eyes. TK hadn't noticed him yet, but when his gaze fell on his brother his smile dropped.

"How're you, Teeks?" Tai asked, using the old pet name. Maybe to make him feel comfortable. Or maybe Tai just didn't think about those things. He stepped closer to TK, and Matt followed meekly behind. Who knew he would be acting like one day? He tried to stand taller.

"I'm fine."

"Oh good. Funny," Tai replied with a smile, but it fell flat at his last word, "my sister isn't in the same position." His tone was serious now, and Matt remembered that _this _was the Tai he never wanted to get on the wrong side of.

TK's eyes slid over to Matt. "She _should _be fine."

"Don't you get it, TK?" Matt finally yelled, his last thread of patience snapping in an instant. "_You _are worrying her! You always will be! I'm getting so sick of it!"

"Then _do _something about it," TK replied softly, and that was when Tai took two steps closer so he was right in front of TK.

"We _are, _Teeks. I'm Kari's brother. I care about her a lot. Maybe more than the two of you idiots combined," Tai said loudly. Quickly he turned to Matt. "No offence."

Matt shrugged. "Well, it's a little bit offensi—"

"Just listen, TK," Tai said, turning back around. "I suppose you thought you were being all noble and crap when you forgave Kari but not really or whatever it was you did, but either you do or you don't. I don't want you lying to my sister—either of you, just to clarify."

"I didn't!" Matt cried, shocked.

"Okay, good, just checking." Tai still hadn't looked away from TK. TK looked a little uncomfortable, and Matt wished he wasn't so confused with the situation or he'd be stepping in too.

"Either way, TK, I want you and Kari to talk."

"No," TK said flatly. "I'll be nice to her. That should be enough."

"It won't be," Tai told him through gritted teeth.

"What I did was fine! She was _happy! _But stupid Matt over here went and blabbed, didn't he?" TK yelled suddenly.

"Hey!" Matt snapped angrily. "I don't _lie _to my girlfriend, thanks!"

"Oh, your _girlfriend?_" TK's face cooled to ice. "That's nice."

"Yea, I didn't know that was the status," Tai agreed, but in a much nicer tone. Matt shrugged.

"Well, it is. I think."

"Okay. Right. Anyway." Tai turned back to TK. "Basically, this is our warning. I don't want to hate you, TK. I love you. You're a great kid, you always have been. You stuck with all of us through lots of stuff, and you were always the perfect friend for Kari. Yes, she's made a different choice in matters of—er—relationships, but isn't her constant anxiety over you proof enough that she still _cares _about you? TK, she can't just forget you. She can't just pretend you don't exist. You still mean a lot to her." Tai was so solemn that Matt felt out of place. When had his friend ever acted like this? Been so… he didn't know… emotional? "Got it?"

TK stared at him. His face was unreadable. "… Yea. I got it."

Tai smiled. "Good." And he slapped TK maybe a little too hard on the back. "I like it when we men talk. We understand each other, you know?"

Matt watched TK carefully. "… TK," he began hopefully. Had Tai opened his eyes?

"What're you doing?!" cried a voice from behind them, so sudden and so high-pitched all three boys jumped. Several students still standing idly around glanced nervously in their direction.

"Oh, crap," Matt and Tai muttered at the same time. TK let out a small wave.

"Hey, Kari…"

She stared at all three of them, appalled. Matt knew she was smart. In a second she would have it figured out. And she did.

* * *

"Are you discussing _me _without _myself _being present?" she asked in a purely shocked voice, no anger. Yet. She felt a strange nervous feeling plucking at her organs. Since when did Tai and Matt team up for her? "I can handle it myself, you guys!" she told them angrily, striding up.

"Perhaps, not," Tai told her smugly, patting TK's shoulder several times. "We just had a manly man-to-man talk .We understand each other now." Kari saw the flat—somewhat painful—expression on TK's face and knew they didn't understand each other at all. Tai was just being stupid.

"Tai!" she said, shocked. "You know I hate it when you do this sort of stuff!" She turned to Matt. "And I have no idea what you were thinking—"

"I told him you'd be mad!" Matt cried in defence, holding both hands up innocently. "But you know… I just… we just—" He shrugged helplessly. Kari understood. She knew that Tai had just forgiven Matt; Matt wanted to keep their friendship, blah blah. But that didn't give them a right to try and solve her problems for her!

"Tai, what are you even _doing _here? Out of everyone you should be the last one here!" she shouted, the strange anger in her only ever seeming to show up when Tai was around.

"Hey!" he yelled with a pouting expression. He crossed his arms. "I'm Matt's moral support."

"He didn't say much," TK muttered, and his voice was the _last _thing Kari needed to hear. She stepped up to him, hands on her hips, frustrated, angry, wishing things could just be _normal _and that she didn't have to _fight _so hard just to be happy!

"You don't think I'm not sick of you either?" she muttered. TK looked shocked, eyes wide. "Yea, that's right, Matt told me about what you said to him. Yes, I get that you lied to me. Yes, I get that you thought you were 'helping' me or something." Kari shrugged. "I'm still confused by it. I'm still hurt. And yes, I get that I screwed up and you have a right to be angry with me. But don't you _dare _lie to me," she hissed, feeling powerful and scared all at the same time. Why was she doing this? What would he say?

"Okay?" she yelled finally, stepping back to face all three of them. "You guys _know _me. You should, anyway." She felt her shoulders fall suddenly; all of her angry gusto was gone so quickly, so fast. "Just… don't do this sort of stuff, okay? As hard as it is for you guys to get it, I can handle myself." She stalked past them. Matt hesitated as she walked by.

"So… are you still coming over?" he asked, trying to be quiet but knowing that Tai and TK heard anyway.

Kari was appalled. "No!" she told him loudly. "Not till you realize how ridiculous you were all being!" And then she walked away, leaving her sudden lecture burning in the boys' ears.

"That was sudden," Tai muttered. "Geez. Not fair my little sister gets to yell at me."

"We are being stupid," Matt conceded, feeling horrible. They _had _been acting sort of like they were her heroes. Maybe that sort of stuff only happened in the Digiworld.

"That's right. You guys are jerks." TK smiled stiffly.

"She yelled at you too," Tai accused quietly. TK's smile grew wider, and Matt knew he was just trying to hide his anger.

"I just don't understand her," he said through the grin, but after he spoke his smile turned into a frown. "I really… don't."

It was the calmest Matt had seen TK since… well… forever. He wanted to hug him. To pat him on the back. To agree with him. For them to share some sort of bonding moment. But instead he just shrugged.

"… Yea," he finally muttered, digging his hands into his pockets and feeling more like a stranger than ever around his brother.

* * *

There was a light knock on Kari's door. She was sitting at her desk, busily scribbling down her chemistry homework. "Mm," she grunted non-commitedly, knowing it was most likely her mom or dad asking how her day was, or Tai coming in to confront her on her freak out. But honestly! They had been acting like… like complete strangers. Yes, it was nice to see Tai and Matt taking the same side, but for some reason it had bothered her more than it had been pleasant to see.

The door squeaked open. "… Kari?"

She sighed heavily. She had been half-expecting that voice, but didn't want to hear it all the same. "Can't you just give me at least two hours of quiet fuming?" she asked, but it was almost impossible to stay angry with Matt. She looked up to see him standing awkwardly in the doorway, half-in, half-out. His eyes darted around the room anxiously. "Well, come in if you're going to talk to me," she ordered. He nodded and stepped inside, closing the door softly behind him.

"Your parents are home," he whispered conspiratorially, like they were in some sort of secret spy base or something.

"Yes, Matt, they live here too." Kari shrugged and turned back to try and finish the reaction that was half-written in her notebook, but she noticed her hand was trembling. She set her pencil firmly down on the paper before spinning her chair around to face Matt, who had taken a seat precariously on the very edge of her bed.

"What's wrong?" she asked suddenly, unable to keep the haughty façade on for much longer. He looked too scared.

"Uh, nothing," he mumbled, fumbling with his fingers. He looked down at the floor before looking up at her. She couldn't help but notice how perfectly windswept his hair always seemed to look. "Um, okay, really, I want to… apologize."

Kari leaned forward, keeping her face smooth. "I'm listening," she replied politely. Matt gave her a funny look before continuing in his odd, quiet voice.

"I was just… I dunno, glad to have Tai finally back with me. You know? And I thought maybe if Tai was with me, TK would finally talk to me, and things might get solved… or better… I don't get it." He ran a hand through his hair, still looking at the ground. "And I thought we could talk to him before you came—you know, just a quiet little chat, but it sort of… took too long."

Kari sighed into the silence, fiddling with a stray piece of her hair. She'd tied it up in a little ponytail earlier when she had started her homework, but it was starting to slowly come loose. "You already know I was mad."

"… Yea."

"I mean, you could've at least told me." She stared at him, at his avoiding eyes. "Then we could've gone in as a—a team, or something."

Matt blinked. Looked up at her. "What?" he asked sluggishly.

Kari let a little smile flutter across her lips. She took one step to sit on the bed beside Matt, taking one of his hands and inspecting it quietly while she spoke. "I think the times of me trying to handle TK on my own are long past." His fingertips were callused… probably from guitar. "I would've liked to be there with you guys, you know. I mean, I want to fix things as much as you guys—if not more—but I'm so tired of trying to deal with him alone." She leaned her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes briefly. "I think I'm just… tired."

"You're not feeling sick, are you?" Matt asked in a slightly panicked voice. Kari smiled.

"I don't think so. A few more headaches than normal, but that's to be expected from over thinking."

Matt's fingers finally wrapped around Kari's hand. "So you're not gonna kill me?"

She giggled. "If I was, you'd know by now." Kari snuggled closer. "It's time you know: Kari admits defeat. She wants help. She can't do this on her own. Happy?" It was hard to say it, but at the same time it flowed out so easily. Difficult to admit she wanted help, but such a relief to finally understand that this wasn't just her problem.

"As long as you are," Matt murmured, and wrapped an arm around her to give her a light hug.

"I think I am." Kari nodded, eyes still closed, just listening to Matt's close breathing, knowing that things at the moment were nice. That was all she needed. A nice moment.

And in an instant it was ruined by Tai smashing the door open, breathing heavily, looking exhausted, but not at all bothered by Matt and Kari's embrace. All the same she sat up straight, disentangling herself from him. "Tai?" the two of them asked at the same time.

He gave them one word, a nervous look in his eyes. "Trouble." His eyes turned to Matt. "I think it's about time you had your turn."


	18. Lesson 18: Don't Stress Over Daddy

**A/N: **No, this is not supposed to be DADDY ISSUES! Chapter. Obviously their family would have some issues (after all, the parents DID have a divorce). Nothing can go smoothly after a divorce, and I know people exactly like I depict their dad here, so no, it's not drama-ish. Just a warning, haha.

**Disclaimer: **You know it already.

* * *

_**Beating Hearts**_

_Chapter 18_

* * *

**If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.** – George Bernard Shaw

* * *

Matt was doing his homework, for once. He was graduating that year, after all, and he had to study for university exams. It hadn't really crossed his mind. Rather, he'd been busy with the band and with Kari and the whole debacle to remember that he had a future he sort of had to prepare for. So the band had been temporarily put on hold so all of them could study.

A sudden knock on his bedroom door. Matt winced. If it was his father he did _not _want to speak with him. Their dad had acted horribly out of place, and if he was there to try and 'fix' things, Matt would laugh right in his face and slam the door.

"What?" he asked grouchily.

"… Me," muttered a voice. Matt shot out of his chair, stumbling toward the door nervously, scared for a reason he couldn't explain. When he reached his bedroom door he slowed down, smoothed his hair, took a deep breath, and opened it.

TK stood outside of it, the key to the apartment dangling from his fingers, which were being tightly held at his sides. He was looking up at Matt for maybe the first time in… well… a long time.

"Thanks," he finally blurted, and Matt could only stare at him, open-mouthed. "Thanks," TK mumbled again, and Matt felt inexplicable joy fill him at those simple words coming from his brother.

* * *

_One week earlier…_

* * *

"What?" Matt asked, shooting up from Kari's bed and dashing out of the room.

"Hey!" Kari cried from behind, running after the two boys as they raced for the front door.

"Tai, what the hell happened?" Matt asked, exasperated with his friend's secretive antics. "What's this got to do with me?" _Please don't say TK went on a psychotic rampage or something_, Matt begged to whatever higher power there was.

Tai slid his shoes back on as Matt tied his runners. Kari hastily slipped her feet into flip-flops. "Well—wha? No, Kari, stay here," Tai ordered her in a tired voice. Kari gaped at him.

"Are you joking?" she asked shrilly. Matt winced. "I'm not just going to sit here, Tai! I'm not stupid." And she dashed out of the apartment before Tai could say anything. He sighed heavily.

"Right, so, anyway," he continued as the three walked quickly to the edge of the hall and made their way down the stairs, "After school and our pleasant—meeting—with TK, I went to go play soccer with Sora, right? So we were having a good time, and I got this _killer _goal in on her—"

"TAI!" yelled both Kari and Matt, their faces a matching shade of angry red. Tai rolled his eyes.

"Okay, so anyway, she got this text on her phone from TK. It said something like 'please help. Get Matt.'

Matt's blood turned to ice at Tai's words. He tripped on the step he was on, stumbling forward. Kari grabbed his one arm to steady him. "Thanks," he mumbled, and Kari smiled up at him.

"It'll be okay," she whispered, giving his arm a little squeeze before letting him go. Matt nodded.

"So, that was it?" he asked feebly.

"Yea, Sora tried to text him back but no answer. And then she tried calling, same result. Then she tried calling you, but…"

Matt felt at his pants pocket. "Oh crap, I left my phone at home today. It's dead."

Tai nodded sagely, as if he had known it all along. "So I just ran to get you, since you'd said you were coming to talk with Kari."

"You could've called the house," Kari snapped uncharacteristically. Tai stared at her.

"Uh…" Kari groaned at his blank stare. So much for dependable older brother.

They reached the street. Matt stopped, having to briefly catch his breath. "So we have no idea where we're going?" he asked anxiously. _Stupid TK! _Matt thought bitterly. _But I can't stay mad, because he—he wants _my _help_. Something he could only describe as feeling rosy made its way through his body.

"Well… no." Tai shrugged helplessly. "I thought we'd just check the places: his apartment, yours…"

Matt nodded. "Can I borrow your phone, Kari?" he asked. She nodded and pulled it out of her pocket.

"Calling home?" she asked. Matt nodded as he dialled in the number. He waited breathlessly as the dial tone rang once… twice… three times… his father never picked up, but if TK was there…

"Hello?" The voice was deep, and gruff. Matt blinked. His father had answered the phone. That was odd.

"Hey Dad," Matt greeted, looking over at Tai with raised eyebrows. Tai knew his father, and he could only shrug back. They had both silently agreed it was an odd moment. "Is TK there?" he asked.

A silence answered him. "Actually I just got back from meeting him. I don't know where the hell he is." His tone darkened. "I need to talk to _you_, too." Matt frowned into the phone.

"Dad, what did you say to him? Whatever it was it seriously freaked him out—"

"Nothing big, I just told the kid to lighten up." A little chuckle escaped, and Matt grew more nervous by the second. His dad was acting odd. Usually he was a quiet guy, and lately he'd been pretty antisocial but his voice was off at the moment.

"Dad," Matt said in a warning voice. "What did you say to him?"

"I already told you," his father replied with a tight voice. "Nothing he can't handle."

Matt groaned internally. At this point in time TK was about as tough as a blade of grass. "Why did you guys meet up?" he continued. Oh yea… hadn't TK called to speak with their dad only recently?

"He just wanted to meet with me to talk about how things are going with him. You know, a little family catch-up time. You need to meet with your mother soon, by the way," he voiced, and Matt grimaced.

"Dad, I know, but that's not really the issue." He paused. His father had always been the sort of 'manly-man, tough business guy' sort of dad. How would he react if Matt told him TK needed help because of what their dad had said? What if it was nothing after all? Matt frowned and Kari wrapped a hand around one of his reassuringly.

"Look, just, do you know where he went?"

"Uhhhh, no. He sort of left abruptly." A sigh. "Kids these days."

"Kay, sure, bye Dad," said Matt, before hanging up suddenly. "Agh, he met up with TK—we do that every once in awhile, me and my mom and TK and dad—and I can only guess he said something to throw TK off or something. Dad thinks it's normal, or a joke, but he won't say what went on between them."

Tai sighed heavily. "Your dad is complicated."

"My whole damn family is complicated," Matt replied grouchily, passing the phone back to Kari. "Thanks, Kari."

"No problem."

"So his apartment?" TK guessed.

"I can only assume so."

Kari let a little smile escape her lips. Matt noticed and looked over at her. "Kari, this is not really the right time to laugh."

"I'm not," she objected, still holding comfortingly onto his hand, "I just think it's wonderful that even though you two are angry with each other right now…" She fell silent and shrugged. "You know."

"No, I don't," objected Matt, and just then Tai's phone vibrated in his coat pocket. He withdrew it immediately, eyes scanning a text.

"I just mean, TK thinks of you immediately when he really needs help, and you're really worried about him." Her grin grew wider. "Things were never broken, then."

Matt mulled over her observation as Tai looked over at them. "Sora said TK texted her back, only saying he was at home. We should head over there."

Matt nodded silently. "Okay." And the three trudged silently down the street.

* * *

Kari didn't really understand the hardened concern on Matt's face as they walked, nor had she truly caught what Matt was thinking when he was talking to his dad on the phone. He had looked the way he used to, before Kari really knew him: distant, and cold, and someone you shouldn't talk to. How could a dad make such an expression on a person?

Kari looked down at the sidewalk as the three teenagers walked briskly through the streets. Her own parents had always been supportive, always kind, if not a bit… stuffy. But never had she had to worry about them bringing her down, or hurting her. She'd never have to worry about calling Tai and begging for help after talking to her dad. To think that this was a result of a father/son talk was… the only word she could think that fit the picture was sad.

And she'd never known. Tai had. She'd caught the look between Matt and Tai. A small part of her wished that at least one of the boys had told her about their family, maybe talked about it a bit more… but it was the one topic both had never really breached. It had always just been 'they're divorced', and that was the end, you never talked about it again.

She cast a sidelong glance up at Matt. He hadn't let go of her hand yet. Was he nervous? Scared? Kari hadn't really been able to put it into words earlier, but it was just… how could she have gotten in the way of those two? Matt and TK had always been the closest of siblings, even though they didn't live together. Siblings she had envied. And then she had stepped in and twisted it all around until everyone was crying and stressed and afraid, and _still _they sought each other out when they needed help the most. It was like some sort of miracle. Or maybe it was just love.

She had a lot to think about.

It wasn't a very talkative walk. All too soon the three were riding in an elevator up to TK's apartment. Kari saw Matt's foot tapping impatiently. What would they do if he wasn't there?

When they reached the door—all still silent—Matt still didn't let go of Kari's hand, and she wouldn't have let him if he had wanted to. He stuck a key in the lock and turned. As he peeked in he took a cautious step as well. Kari and Tai followed.

The apartment was silent, and eerily so. Kari hadn't paid a visit to it in awhile. It was all newly redecorated, she remembered, in a modern fashion. There were no mats, nothing warm. In fact, it was all rather chilly looking.

Matt closed the door behind him. "I'm gonna go look for him, okay?" Kari finally let go of his hand, glancing over at Tai. Did they have a say in this, or not?

"Sure," Tai agreed, and Kari took his point and nodded worriedly.

"Just… Good luck." Matt gave her a fleeting smile before taking careful and silent steps through the apartment, peeking into each room before stepping toward TK's door.

"What the hell is going on," Tai muttered, not really as a question. Kari shrugged.

"If it helps them, I'm not going to complain."

"I meant with their dad. I thought these guys' family issues were sorted when they had a divorce."

Kari hit Tai's arm, but quietly. "Don't be so ignorant," she snapped childishly. "How would we know what goes on in their lives?"

"Well you think they'd tell us," Tai muttered, and Kari realized that Tai was feeling the same tug of annoyance she was. Why hadn't either of them spoken a thing about the issues—whatever they were—with their dad? She shrugged and dug her hands into the pockets of her jeans.

"Who knows what's going in their brains," whispered Kari.

A small silence descended. "I think this is the first time I've been really glad to have the family I have," Tai said softly. Kari grinned over at him.

"Took you awhile."

He shrugged. "Like you always say, I'm just… stupid."

Kari looked back into the apartment. Matt still hadn't come back out, so she assumed TK had been in his room. She wondered what was going on.

"No you're not. You're just a boy," she said heavily, wishing she had some female companionship at the moment. Really badly. Boys were just confusing.

* * *

Matt hesitated outside of TK's spotless white door. He opened it softly in case TK had fallen asleep (it was an odd habit of his. After being mentally stressed he'd always have a nap), anxiety hammering his heart. Matt hadn't realized how worried he was about TK until the message 'I need help' had been sent. Help… from Matt.

"TK?" he whispered, stepping inside. TK had the same half-sloppy room Matt had, and it was the only room left in their mom's apartment that had a spark of life in it. Honestly, Matt wished he could understand their parents.

Then he saw his brother, slumped against his bed, half-lying, half-sitting on the floor. He didn't look up at Matt's entrance. He closed the door behind him, standing awkwardly, not quite sure where he was supposed to go. Back when things had been normal he would've just flopped down on TK's bed, or kicked him in the shin or something to move over so he could sit beside him. But now—

"I guess it was really nothing," TK began slowly, quietly. Matt tightened as TK spoke. "I mean, I met up with him just 'cause I wanted to, you know?" Still looking at the floor. "I missed him. So we met up after school at a café, to just eat and talk and he knew something was up with me. He asked what, and I… I told him about you and Kari." His voice grew troubled at this point in the story. Matt paled. Ah. So that's what their dad had meant to talk to him about. And then a second thought flew in: why did it always have to be about his and Kari's relationship? Geez.

"What did he say?" Matt whispered, taking a step closer and squatting down on the ground.

TK smiled weakly. "Really, it shouldn't bother anyone… but I got so flustered, and I almost started—started crying, and he just got all irritated and said things." His voice wobbled on the last word. "Why am I so weak, so stupid, so much like a girl, toughen up, you'll live through it, don't be such a baby, I came to talk to you not to hear you complain about your—insignificant—problems."

Matt's heart started to beat faster at TK's words. It happened. Their father would say things—hurtful things—and then just act like it was normal, like that was what any parent was supposed to say. Matt frowned at the floor.

"TK, I know how he is. Of course you're entitled to let it bother you," Matt said in a quiet voice. "Those sort of things said by a parent are… the harshest things in the world." Matt would know; he lived with him after all. Of course their father was usually all right, but sometimes he would snap like that, but then an hour later laugh it off and blame it on the kid for making it something it wasn't.

"I just panicked," TK muttered. "I knew that you'd know what it was like… everyone else seems to have normal parents, and I didn't want to bother them but I can't _talk _about this sort of stuff with them." He hastily wiped at his eyes. "God, I'm such a—"

"You're not anything he said," Matt interjected roughly. "Dad's a goddamn idiot, so don't worry." Matt shook his head. _Honestly._ He was a father. Shouldn't he act more responsible? At least _apologize_?

As the two sat in silence for a few minutes, Matt revelled in the small fact that this was like old times. Being together without hatred, with one common goal, just knowing the other was a sort of calming presence… for once.

"And… And he said…" TK shifted away so his face was hidden by his knees, which he had pulled up as if to protect himself when Matt walked in. "He said he was glad I had ended up living with Mom." A little bitter laugh escaped him. "Geez."

Matt frowned. "Don't worry about it, okay, Teeks? He's an idiot, and he doesn't mean what he says, you know that."

"I know." But… he knew it was coming. "But still. He's my _dad_." He laughed. "As if I need this right now." He finally gave Matt a meaningful look, and it was nothing short of a deadly glare.

"Has he talked to you since?" Not exactly a subtle escape, but…

"Oh, yea, we left on good terms. Sort of." He shrugged. "I just acted like it didn't bother me, you know? Because I didn't want him to worry or whatever. So I don't think he realizes that what he said really bothered me." Silence. "You know, I'm not even sure why I called you. I mean, I can handle it myself, it's not like it's some godforsaken family drama or whatever, it's just Dad being Dad—"

"Hey, Teeks, calm down. I'm not gonna stir anything up with Dad, all right? I'm not gonna bring back old feelings or whatever the parents are keeping from us." Matt finally fell down to sit cross-legged on the floor. "It's not gonna be soap opera-y stuff, okay?" He let out a little chuckle, and TK let a faltering smile cross his face.

"Yea, I sort of wondered if something like that might happen…"

"Boy, our lives sure have been weird lately, huh?" Matt asked quietly, looking up at the ceiling, where TK had pinned up a poster of what looked like a hand drawn sketch of Patamon… it was actually sort of difficult to tell, since it looked like TK had drawn it when he was about 9 years old.

"You're telling me," TK said grumpily, but Matt only continued to smile. Maybe their dad's usual ignorant behaviour had helped them, for once.

"What's going ON?" complained a loud voice that both of the boys could hear through the half-open door (Matt realized suddenly he had forgot to close it all the way). "This is so BOORING."

Matt rolled his eyes. "Tai was the one who came to get me, so he decided to tag along."

TK smiled. "Ah, right, Tai and his useful little lectures."

Matt fell silent. Why did TK have to keep bringing up the topic that had broken them apart? "Did his words actually mean anything to you?" he asked, rather (and embarrassingly) meekly.

"Of course they did," grunted TK. "I don't have to tell you everything that runs through my head, do I?"

"No, no, of course not," Matt amended quickly. "No, of course not…"

Another brief silence. "Is Kari here?" TK asked quietly. Matt kept his expression cool; he had been expecting this question.

"Yea. She was worried you'd been hurt." He was expecting some kind of scoff from TK, or snarling remark. But instead his brother was quiet for several seconds.

"That's… nice." Matt could hear the effort the words took him, but it still meant a lot to him.

"It is, isn't it?" he agreed brightly, and TK had to roll his eyes at that. Matt shifted uncomfortably. All right, too soon for jokes? He felt sweaty and cold all at the same time. This was maybe the scariest encounter he'd had in a while, flipping from happy to scared and back and forth constantly.

"So you don't want me to talk to Dad?"

TK shook his head vehemently. "I only called you because of the pressure, and all these things that have been happening lately and with finals coming up and—I don't know. I cracked."

"Talking to your older brother should never have to happen just because you 'cracked', TK. I'm just—really, really glad." Matt gave him a genuine smile, but TK just gave a rather tepid—no, make that pretty much cold—smile back.

"All right," he said, and Matt nodded, stood up, and nodded again, as if he were silently talking to himself. "Right, well, glad to have this conversation…" He smiled. "Bye!"

TK hesitated. "… Bye."

And Matt ran out before his brother could take back any of the semi-nice things he'd said. Yes, Matt was childish that way.

* * *

_One week later…_

* * *

A grin exploded over Matt's stony features (which he'd noticed that since he'd been with Kari had been growing softer as time passed) at TK's words.

"You're welcome," he said warmly, sincerely. It meant so much to him that TK had come all this way to say thanks rather than calling him.

TK was obviously going through some sort of mental anguish. The expression on his face was half pained, half confused. "Right, well, that's all I wanted to say…"

"Did you want to talk to Dad?"

TK frowned at him. "Do you _think _I do?" he asked sharply. Matt winced. "He doesn't think anything's up, remember? He's fine, I'm fine, end of story, I just wanted to say thanks." He began to turn back around but then spun back to face Matt again. "And don't think this means more than it does, okay? I'm just saying thanks!" His tone reminded Matt of TK when he was younger, when he whined more, when he wasn't always the sweet-hearted kid he'd grown up to be (that Matt had somehow warped lately, damn it he screwed up everything, didn't he?).

"I know," he said instead, a light smile playing on his lips. TK gave him one more narrow-eyed glare before walking swiftly down the hall and exiting the apartment rather loudly.

Matt couldn't help it. He started to laugh, his hand still tight around his door's doorknob. He leaned his body against the door, wheezing off into light giggles. He didn't really know why he found the situation so humorous.

Then he realized that it wasn't funny at all, but rather, he was just laughing because he was happy. Genuinely happy.

This deserved an ice cream trip with Kari, he decided. And he picked up the phone to call her, and after they'd agreed to meet fifteen minutes away, he didn't feel the slightest bit guilty.


End file.
